Re: Quoatable LeMons

My brother to Jay in the penalty box, after forgetting that we just put new pads/rotors on the car while we were replacing a grenaded transmission and cruising straight off the end of the front straight at CMP:

Jay: So, what happened out there?
Robert: We just put new brakes on the car so it wouldn't stop.
Jay: You put new brakes on the car so it wouldn't stop?
Robert: Wait, no, I meant..
Jay: No, really, that explanation was all that I needed to hear. Get out and go gather your team mates.

Everybody grab your brooms, it's shenanigans!

Re: Quoatable LeMons

"The engine would start and run, but was knocking harder than the FBI with a search warrant"

Proud supporter of the "Bring A Sterling To LeMons" Foundation

I'll make it to an actual race one of these days.  Until then...

Re: Quoatable LeMons

It'll crank, but it wont stay crunk!

Team Lost in the Dark
Winner " I got screwed" and "Jay's dream car"
2012 Gulf region champs

Re: Quoatable LeMons

"Dude. It's a Spitfire. It's worth nothing. I mean, literally."

5x loser - and just all around not very good
My Crappy Blog
Former Sex Pistons Craptain
And it feels so funny, like bathing in honey...

Re: Quoatable LeMons

"Why is everything going wrong?"
"Because Chrysler"

14 Time Loser FutilityMotorsport
2008 Saab 9-5Aero Wagon
Retired - 1989 Dodge Daytona Shelby 2011-2015 "Lifetime Award for Lack of Achievement" IOE, 3X I got screwed, Organizer's Choice

Re: Quoatable LeMons

"I said my wheel is no longer on my car" http://forums.24hoursoflemons.com/viewt … p?id=18289

If it moves and shouldn't, use Duct Tape.
If it should move and doesn't, use WD-40.
If those don't work, its BROKE!

Re: Quoatable LeMons

I just used "butt turrible" in a conversation with a cowork about something most definitely work related.

Figured I ought to share.  That is all.

Black Gold/Sex Panther Racing: '79 Datsun 280ZX
Dirty Penny Racing: Rustyass Datsun 210.

Re: Quoatable LeMons

Racin_G73, in a thread near here - "What part of the car do you think is bent?  Have you tried to measure wheelbase on both sides?"

Re: Quoatable LeMons

Overheard while working on the car this weekend:

"Jamie didn't do a good job jacking the car."

2008- 2010:  1966 Volvo 122, "Charlie"
2010-present:  1975 Ford LTD Landau...doesn't have a name?

Re: Quoatable LeMons

m610 wrote:

Racin_G73, in a thread near here - "What part of the car do you think is bent?  Have you tried to measure wheelbase on both sides?"

You gotta start with the obvious. smile

A&D: 2011 Autobahn, 2012 Gingerman, 2012 Road America, 2012 Autobahn II, 2013 Gator-O-Rama (True 24!)
Sir Jackie Stewart's Coin Purse Racing
2013 Chubba Cheddar Enduro - Organizer's Choice, 2014 Doing Time in Joliet
http://www.facebook.com/#!/SirJackieSte … urseRacing

Re: Quoatable LeMons

"It smells like gas real bad" -Tow truck driver at CMP South Fall race in '10 as our driver started notice a rather large puddle of clear liquid in the passanger footwell of our Super Beetle, luckily he had pulled over because the engine had thrown it's fan belt and was overheating.

"Oh my Gawd, it's white Tupac!" -Anonymous, while in a Circle K on our way back to the track after the South Spring '11 parade and block party.

RetroRacing-1973 Super! Beetle: 2010 CMP Fall-Judges' Choice, 2014 Barber-DFL and I Got Screwed!, 2-time winner: You Talk Shit Better Than You Race (YTSBTYR) Award
Now available west of the Rockies as... Nine Finger Drifters- 1982 te72 Toyota Corolla Wagon (it's got a HEMI!)
Also, fall in love with my one man show: G. D. Yo-Man: No! YOU Ams Da A&&hole! (coming soon to a racing venue near you)

Re: Quoatable LeMons

DC Doug - "All things in moderation... except LeMons and maybe Apple Pie."

Re: Quoatable LeMons

"Holy shit"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuY0qEM2H-w

Mat Dahlin commentating

Fritz

Dahlinboysracing W/Frankenphil  '11 Crown Royal Vic SPWV 73 '12 Tom Sellecka Toyota NJMP 75 SPWV 43rd NHMS 65, '13  Toylaren Monticello 120th, Daytona 102nd, SPWV  83rd Heroic Fix! NJMP 41 NHMS 48th '14 Fireball  Integra NJMP 24th NJMP 18th NHMS 90th '15 NJMP 54th Daytona 33RD SPWV 4th Thompson  79th CMP 13th '16 NJMP 43rd don't speed in the paddock! Thompson 21st CMP 32nd NHMS 24th

Re: Quoatable LeMons

Hah!  I just watched that clip again last night.  Great learning experience for Jake (or any newbish racer).

Speedycop/NSF Racing /Pinewood Dirtbags
'10 Summit, CMP3, Autobahn, '11 CMP1, NJMP, CMP2, Summit, G'man, Stafford, Charlotte, Autobahn, ECR '12 CMP1, NJMP, G'man, NHMS1, Summit, CMP2, NHMS2, ECR, '13 CMP1, ECR, Summit, NJMP, THill, CMP2, MSR, NHMS, Sears '14 Barber, Sears1, ECR, CMP1, NJMP1, BWillow, Sebring, CMP2, THill, Sears2, '15 Sears1, Barber, Ridge, THill, '16 Sears1

65 (edited by ben-zb 2012-09-17 06:49 PM)

Re: Quoatable LeMons

Last weekend at Thunderhill, at penalty box for 4 wheels off, driving the Corvair.

Judge: "This car is so awful... All right, go out there and be safe. Drive within yourself for crying out loud. This is a f**king death trap. Go go go go!"

Cheers,
Ben

team zerobelow - Unsafe at Any Degree.    Racing a 1965 Corvair Corsa.    Inaugural Race: Vodden The Hell Are We Doing @ Thunderhill, September 2012
Blog: http://lemons.zerobelow.org    ::    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/zerobelowLemons    ::    Twitter: @zerobelowLemons

Re: Quoatable LeMons

Lecture overheard as I walked by the penalty box at ECR during the May 2012 full 24: car in for a spin. Judge Scott points-- "this is the front of the car. This is the back. Keep that in mind."

Clogging up the Gulf Region with TetanusNeon since 2008 and now the TetanusRacing 944s and BMW too.
Guest drives with NSF, Rocket Surgery, Property Devaluation, Terminally Confused, Team Sputnik, The Syndicate, Pit Crew Revenge, Spank, & Sir Jackie Stewart's Coin Purse.
35 races and counting!

Re: Quoatable LeMons

Jay and Phil were discussing the Triumph TR7 at New Jersey back in April and someone said "it's the poor man's TR8!"
Without missing a beat Jay said "no, it's the homeless man's TR8."

Official photographer/Team Police Brutality|Speedycop & the Gang
Lackey-mechanic-whatever/NSF Racing
Sycophant/Judge Phil, Jay Lamm, Kim Harmon
Galaxie Driver/not Parnelli Jones

Re: Quoatable LeMons

"There's an 'anus' in there somewhere." - the Supreme Court when discussing TetanusRacing and our three-way off road love-in at MSR.

I'm the doctor who is a wife. Which makes the grease hard to explain to my patients... www.tetanusneon.com.

Re: Quoatable LeMons

Noob (very excited, it's her first hot lap ever, after all): The check engine is on! The check engine light is on! Should I come in? I'm coming in! (no pause for breath)
TetanusHQ: Deep breath, that's normal!

I feel good that I asked about that check engine light while sitting calmly in the pits.  I had enough to worry about once I got out on the track with a bunch of $60,000+ cars zooming past me.

-jt
Unionized Physicist
Tetanus Racing
1986 Porsche 944, #986

Re: Quoatable LeMons

cpchampion wrote:

Lecture overheard as I walked by the penalty box at ECR during the May 2012 full 24: car in for a spin. Judge Scott points-- "this is the front of the car. This is the back. Keep that in mind."

We had to paint arrows on our car to point which way was forward.

--Rob Leone Schumacher Taxi Service
We won the IOE at Southern Discomfort.
We got screwed at The Real Hoopties of New Jersey  and we took cars down with us.
We got the curse at Capitol Offense but they wouldn't let us destroy the car.

Re: Quoatable LeMons

Jay to myself and team members in the penalty box at CMP: 'Y'all (he'd learned some Southern by then!) have a lot more motor than brakes or sense.' Couldn't possibly argue with such penetrating insight.

Philosophy of life: old age and treachery will ALWAYS overcome youth, enthusiasm and cash. General smartass know it all beer swilling ne'er do well. Avoid eye contact with this person, best avoided completely. 2008 Animal House Racing CMP 'Most Likely To Leave In An Ambulance' 2009 Blind Rodent Racing CMP 2010 Team Galileo CMP 2011 Roundhouse Kick Racing CMP 2012 Road Kill Grill Racing CMP (x2)

Re: Quoatable LeMons

"I wear a normal guy costume all the time. I take it off when I get to the track with the rest of you nuts."

-Parkwood60, on costumes.

1978 AMC Pacer - The Blue Flag Special
BFE GP '12 - IOE
BFE GP '13 - Co-Organizer's Choice w/ Speed Holes Wrenching

73

Re: Quoatable LeMons

I think my favorite was actually one from Jay (or maybe it was the chief corner marshall, I don't remember for sure), when explaining the "faster traffic" flag:
"Anybody know what this one means? There's a race going on, and you're not in it!"

I've got eight slugs in me. One's lead, and the rest are bourbon. The drink packs a wallop and I pack a revolver.

Re: Quoatable LeMons

When I got my first penalty, Jay recommended I turn my driving down from "three-tenths to two-tenths."

/slowdriver

Eric Rood
LeMons Contributor for www.roadkill.com
"Like" my page on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheRustyHub
Follow me on Twitter: @therustyhub

Re: Quoatable LeMons

John (HoonaticRacing), as we connect a bunch of 12v batteries in series:

"Do you get the feeling we should be wearing gloves?"

Command Pilot/Flight Director, Escape Velocity Racing
Index of Effluency, Heroic Fix, Class C Trophy, now hopelessly gunning for Class B.
Currently 1-2 vs. Team Fairlylame in the Class of 1964 Championships