• From: Redwood Estates, CA
  • Registered: 2010-08-10
  • Posts: 201

Re: Quoatable Lemons

From today's forum by Yukadas about tire choice between Dunlop and Falken, classic!

"...it's like the missionary/doggie debate...they both feel great and will leave you smiling."

Dirty Duck Racing, #83 VW Rabbit GTI
'10,'11,12,'13 -Thunderhill, '10,'11,'12,'13,'14 - Buttonwillow, '11,'12,'13,'14 Sears Pointless, '11-Fernley, '13 Sears Even More Pointless-Class B Winner,  '11,'13 Arse-Freeze Sears Point, Return of the LeMonites Miller Motorsports-Class B Winner, '13 A&D Northworst GT-Overall Winner in MT-GT

Mr. Unruly's Website

  • DC Doug
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  • From: Washington DC / SF Bay area
  • Registered: 2010-09-27
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Re: Quoatable Lemons

Aaron/Yukadas from the White Trash Racing Failshark is on a roll...

From an interview with the Fort Wayne Journal Gazette...

“Sharks are big and scary, and whale sharks are big and look scary. But they’re dumb and slow,” he said. “Which is a lot like me.”

Speedycop/NSF Racing /Pinewood Dirtbags
'10 Summit, CMP3, Autobahn, '11 CMP1, NJMP, CMP2, Summit, G'man, Stafford, Charlotte, Autobahn, ECR '12 CMP1, NJMP, G'man, NHMS1, Summit, CMP2, NHMS2, ECR, '13 CMP1, ECR, Summit, NJMP, THill, CMP2, MSR, NHMS, Sears '14 Barber, Sears1, ECR, CMP1, NJMP1, BWillow, Sebring, CMP2, THill, Sears2, '15 Sears1, Barber, Ridge, THill, '16 Sears1
  • DC Doug
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Re: Quoatable Lemons

Overheard at BS inspections at NHMS...

Judge Phil: Okay, Class C, zero laps
Alex/Firegremlin from Team Sputnik: <<completely surprised>> Really??  That's great!!!
Judge Phil:  <<pauses>> Hmmmmm...  Class B, zero laps
Alex:  <<and you could totally see it on his face>> thinks to self, "I'm an idiot"

Speedycop/NSF Racing /Pinewood Dirtbags
'10 Summit, CMP3, Autobahn, '11 CMP1, NJMP, CMP2, Summit, G'man, Stafford, Charlotte, Autobahn, ECR '12 CMP1, NJMP, G'man, NHMS1, Summit, CMP2, NHMS2, ECR, '13 CMP1, ECR, Summit, NJMP, THill, CMP2, MSR, NHMS, Sears '14 Barber, Sears1, ECR, CMP1, NJMP1, BWillow, Sebring, CMP2, THill, Sears2, '15 Sears1, Barber, Ridge, THill, '16 Sears1

104 Reply by RobL

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  • From: Philly area
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
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Re: Quoatable Lemons

"Do you guys have an ox-acetylene torch, we are trying to fix our gas tank?"

http://www.murileemartin.com/UG/LNHF12/223-LNHF12-UG_t.jpg

--Rob Leone Schumacher Taxi Service
We won the IOE at Southern Discomfort.
We got screwed at The Real Hoopties of New Jersey  and we took cars down with us.
We got the curse at Capitol Offense but they wouldn't let us destroy the car.

RobL's Website

105 Reply by n0m4d

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  • From: Wilton, NH
  • Registered: 2009-06-04
  • Posts: 288

Re: Quoatable Lemons

At Loudon Annoying 2012 after being black flagged for leaking fuel:

Jay: “… and why the hell did you drill a hole in your gas cap?”

Us: “We were having a vacuum issue in our gas tank?”

Jay (facepalming): “ For fucksakes, I thought you guys were engineers.”

Us: “We are…,  software engineers, this seemed like a perfectly acceptable solution!”

30 entries since 2009
#39 & #53 Overengineer'd Racing - Wilton, NH
http://www.facebook.com/nhlemons

n0m4d's Website

  • From: Columbia, MD
  • Registered: 2010-10-21
  • Posts: 404

Re: Quoatable Lemons

Frankenphils nephews Nate and Nick who came to watch us race at NHMS "How many races have they won?"

Mrs Fritz and Mrs Frankenphil flew up to NHMS, got in a conversation with some blue hairs on the plane. When asked why they were going to Manchester they replied "To watch our husbands race at NHMS", to which the blue hairs replied "Oh, are they anyone famous?"

Fritz

Dahlinboysracing W/Frankenphil  '11 Crown Royal Vic SPWV 73 '12 Tom Sellecka Toyota NJMP 75 SPWV 43 NHMS 65, '13  Toylaren Monticello 120, Daytona 102, SPWV  83 HF! NJMP 41 NHMS 48th '14 Fireball  Integra NJMP 24th NJMP 18th NHMS 90th '15 NJMP 54th Daytona 33RD SPWV 4th Thompson  79th CMP 13th '16 NJMP 43 Thompson 21 CMP 32nd NHMS 24 '17 FB Integra NJMP 68 Cledus Snow Eldorado IGS 118, NCM 24

107 Reply by RobL

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Re: Quoatable Lemons

We're reattaching spark plug wires to the distributor cap.

"All the posts are numbered but the one that goes to the coil is marked "ZS."  WTF does "ZS" stand for?"
"Zee Spark."

--Rob Leone Schumacher Taxi Service
We won the IOE at Southern Discomfort.
We got screwed at The Real Hoopties of New Jersey  and we took cars down with us.
We got the curse at Capitol Offense but they wouldn't let us destroy the car.

RobL's Website

  • From: South Side Of Chicago
  • Registered: 2010-11-29
  • Posts: 618

Re: Quoatable Lemons

At the June Autobahn race during test day I drove the We Are Really Not From Iran Festiva for a couple of laps.

When I came back and got out some one ask "How did it feel?"

I said "It is more stable than it appears."

Byte Marks Racing - "You knew the job was dangerous when you took it Fred."
1992 Nissan 240SX DM Edition (Drift Master)

coolhand454's Website

  • From: St Louis
  • Registered: 2011-10-20
  • Posts: 2,611

Re: Quoatable Lemons

Judge Phil at Chuckwalla Saturday night when he was looking for any engine for a drive train swap, "You guys run a SBC and a 22r, surely you have a spare engine"

Apocalyptic Racing - Occupy Pit Lane racing
Racing the "Toylet" Toyota Celica powered by Chevrolet Ecotec.
24x Loser with the Celica. 16x loser in other fine machines
Overall winner Gingerman 2019

Brett85p's Website

110 Reply by X-args (edited by X-args 2012-12-10 05:04 PM)

  • X-args
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  • From: East Bay, CA
  • Registered: 2009-05-01
  • Posts: 735

Re: Quoatable Lemons

Doctawife 'prefers FWD' Mary, at Chuckwalla after spinning the Scrubby Beetle: "Physics wins over magic."

2x Volvo PV544 (RIP '63) B20 power!
2007/2012/2013 Driver's Championship (what was I thinking!?) 142 races and counting.
2/25/24

111 Reply by steve

  • From: Columbia SC
  • Registered: 2010-09-12
  • Posts: 864

Re: Quoatable Lemons

We need some parts for this car is there a Mall around here?

2010, 26th @ CMP, 2011, 10th & 5th at CMP, 2012? (MIA), 2013 Spring CMP, 53rd, 2013 Fall CMP 44th, 2014 Barber 14th, 2014 CMP 46th, 2015 CMP 57th, 2015 CMP 80th, 2016 CMP 16th, 3rd in B class, Winner Judges choice, and First car under 2.0 liter Alex's lemon aide stand winner. 2017 WRL, Road Atlanta 43rd, 2017 NCM 9th O/A , 1st in B class, 2018 CMP 13th O/A 3rd in Class B
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Re: Quoatable Lemons

I got 2 for this after Chuckwalla after driving the 84 Cadillac Eldorado Briattz Casino car

" My Lemonlimo  handles so much better than the Cadi !"

We wrote this on windshield of Cadillac for drivers to read

" This is a CAR on Racetrack not a Racecar!"

Pit Crew Revenge Racing   Rolling chicanelimo,95Lamdspeeder,Gimp Pimp Cadi,300zx Car show kaboom!! 90 Wagovan, mazda v8 Lemons LOGO TATTOO!  Aces 84 Cadi Eldo Briattz I O E WINNER
Class C win with LemonOdy Cannonball Run Whambulance !EX K Captain
Lemons Trophy Truck ShaGuar Baby!
  • From: Choctaw, Oklahoma
  • Registered: 2009-11-12
  • Posts: 2,144

Re: Quoatable Lemons

"I can feel the Prius idle through the brake pedal!" - Roland, warming up the Simca/MR2 next to the Harley-powered Prius.

  • Registered: 2009-10-21
  • Posts: 229

Re: Quoatable Lemons

This one has become a classic in the 3pedalmafia world ...

We're sitting around NHMS (fall) having some rather yummy pancakes in  the rain and complemnts are going out to the chef ...

Some random teammate - "Hey these pancakes are pretty good"

Omar - " Oh my god these are great, I'm never making Bisquick again,  FUCK BISQUICK!!"

"Fuck Bisquick" has become a team motto.

Jeff
Three Pedal Mafia
Ombudsman - Coalition of Alternate Breakfast Meats
  • From: WOOTville USA
  • Registered: 2009-05-06
  • Posts: 2,415

Re: Quoatable Lemons

EriktheAwful wrote:

"I can feel the Prius idle through the brake pedal!" - Roland, warming up the Simca/MR2 next to the Harley-powered Prius.

(Can't. Stop. Giggling.)

"Real ZomBees prefer Bacon"
IOE(x2) MGB/SAAB 96, Judge's Choice, Class C Win, & 2011 Hooniverse Car of the Year!
MRolla, Stick Figure/Animal House, Free Range MR2, SAAB Sonett, "The Death Flip"
2008 Exoskeleton Jag Fiasco, Concours d Lemons - Rue Britannia, worse British car.

Sparky Pete's Website

  • From: Texas
  • Registered: 2010-02-22
  • Posts: 949

Re: Quoatable Lemons

Overheard on race control radio, MSR-Houston in 2009

"Control, Control, this is corner X, we have a piece of junk on the racing surface"
"Corner X, that's incorrect, there are 110 pieces of junk on the racing surface."

ALLEGEDLY!

-Dave
Scuderia Ignorante // Modena / Dearborn / Aichi Prefecture / West Texas
  • From: Palm Beach, Texas
  • Registered: 2012-03-30
  • Posts: 776

Re: Quoatable Lemons

My driver/good friend Adam in the Porsche 929 Landshark, on the radio after getting passed by the Volvo 740 wagon at CMP last fall:

"Dude, how are we not the fastest station wagon here?"

Head of Estate
/) come monday motorsports /)

Kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight.
  • From: Fort Wayne, IN
  • Registered: 2011-02-09
  • Posts: 735

Re: Quoatable Lemons

tSoG wrote:

I don't require my drivers to wear their underwear outside their pants, but I do require they be capable of hanging out with and taking orders from someone who is.

"He attacked everything in life with a mixture of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which."   -Adams, Douglas.   The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

14x loser @ Gingerman, Autobahn, Summit Point, New Jersey, Road 'Merica, and Barber
  • From: Bloomington, IN
  • Registered: 2009-08-14
  • Posts: 1,525

Re: Quoatable Lemons

yukadas wrote:
tSoG wrote:

I don't require my drivers to wear their underwear outside their pants, but I do require they be capable of hanging out with and taking orders from someone who is.

Quote of the week!

Bloomington, IN
We'll bring Beer!  Motorsports
Team Fiery Death! #0 2009 Lamest Day(65th), 2010 American Irony(24th), 2010 Detroit Bull(4th),2012 Capitol Offense (8th) 2012 American Irony (11 th), 2013 Capitol Offense (3rd) 2013 Chubba Chedder (4th, Judge Choice!) Now sadly part of a scrap pile. 
Toothless Racing Deadbeats #110 2011 Summit Point (61st) Currently being rebuilt into the new car!

120 Reply by m610

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  • Registered: 2009-12-12
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Re: Quoatable Lemons

I always say I'd never race a a car I wasn't willing to roll.  -- RougeLeader

Momentum is a terrible thing to waste.
24 Hours of Lemons on Vimeo, Team Tinyvette on Facebook, Team Tinyvette

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  • From: Colorado Springs Co.
  • Registered: 2013-09-24
  • Posts: 807

Re: Quoatable Lemons

French ass-pleasure couch.
Dammit!  It just won't go outta my head!!!!! ARRRRGH

Captain of the Speedholes Wrenching #365 1965 Rambler Marlin and owner of the "Cockroach 454 Chevy Bigblock". Collector Emeritus of awful crapcans.
Earned every finish with Blood, Sweat, Tears,  Smoked brakes,dead wheelbearings, two blower explosions, and a never-ending thirst for more fuel. Finished em all! Currently hiding in a secret base in the shadow of the "Race to the Clouds".

122 Reply by NSF

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  • From: Cocoa, FL
  • Registered: 2010-06-26
  • Posts: 4,055

Re: Quoatable Lemons

Mary: It won't start.
Steve: Maybe it just needs a rest.
Me: Is it out of gas? 
[Me, Mary and Steve push a 3800 lb car to the pumps slightly uphill]
Mary: Still doesn't start.
[Me, Mary and Steve push the 3800 lb car back to pit area slightly down hill]
Me: Maybe the points are shot.
Mary: What are points?
Me; They are the thingies under the cap that make the spark plugs spark.
[Phil Joins us while i am stretched across the engine that is about 245 degrees F]
Phil: Ya know,... I have these  things called electronic ignition... [continues to brow beat us on the merits of electronic ignition]..... at the pick n pull...Denver....
[I'm all burnt up and have majestically adjusted the points and Mary fires it up and thunders onto the track.]
[High fives all around]
[Mary returns on the hook in less than one lap]
Mary: It won't start
[Repeat]

This space for rent.
  • From: Round Rock, Tx
  • Registered: 2010-12-06
  • Posts: 688

Re: Quoatable Lemons

Over the radio, my first race as a driver:
My Wife:  Hey, I've ridden with you when you had that thing over 135, uphill with the AC on, passing a semi.  Get your foot on the gas and start passing people!
Me:  Yes, dear.


Me, to another driver, watching our car come down the front straight:
Me:  Did something just fall off the car?
Both:  (watch front wheel go straight as rest of car takes turn)
Him:  Yeah, something fell off.

Pucker Factor Racing - Gator-O-Rama, Feb '11, Yee-Haw It's Lemons Texas!, Oct '11
Scuderia Ignorante - Yee-Haw, It's Lemons Texas, Feb '12 (As seen in Car & Driver), Gator-O-Rama, Sept '13
  • From: Kelso, WA
  • Registered: 2014-01-09
  • Posts: 109

Re: Quoatable Lemons

the first race in my short time i raced. coming out of turn 2 @ south sound speedway some A-hole takes the nose of there camero and shoves it under my read end and spins me out and the back end of my car ends up on the back straight wall.

Me: shit not again out of the race for the day... thinking of throwing my helmet down in the car out of frustration.

track worker: Hey was this running when you got spun out?

Me: hell ya it was I just figured I was done so I shut  it off to save the engine or whatever might be broke.

track worker: Hey That was Brian Staley that did that to ya there is his paint all over you fuel tank and rear bumper. we are going to get ya off the wall and you can continue.

Me: Beeep Beep staley beep beep beep. (he was one of my Team mates)

off comes my car I fire it up whipped a bitch in the middle of the track and finish 14th that day out of 65 cars

  • From: land of plaid
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 592

Re: Quoatable Lemons

At CMP last fall, 3 of us camped on site, one went to the local motel.  Upon returning in the morning,  the question was posed "How's the hotel?"
Reply:  "There was a murder there, not last night, but there's been a murder there sometime."

Carbon footprint diesel chevette: IOE Gingerman '11, ClassC winner Autobahn, 13
Isuzu iMark diesel: IOE Gingerman'13
Chrysler Cordoba: Organizers Choice Barber '14