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Re: Quoatable Lemons

chevette wrote:

At CMP last fall, 3 of us camped on site, one went to the local motel.  Upon returning in the morning,  the question was posed "How's the hotel?"
Reply:  "There was a murder there, not last night, but there's been a murder there sometime."

They stayed at the "Executioner" (the Executive Inn)...  We took a look at that place and noped it fuk out of there.

--Rob Leone Schumacher Taxi Service
We won the IOE at Southern Discomfort.
We got screwed at The Real Hoopties of New Jersey  and we took cars down with us.
We got the curse at Capitol Offense but they wouldn't let us destroy the car.

127

Re: Quoatable Lemons

"Lemons is a sickness... Chump is just sumfin' to do..." -- TeamLeMon-Aid

Re: Quoatable Lemons

"Prepare Lemons for a fat man in yellow driving a pink Rambler March!"
Cdickman12

Apocalyptic Racing - Occupy Pit Lane racing
Racing the "Toylet" Toyota Celica powered by Chevrolet Ecotec.
24x Loser with the Celica. 16x loser in other fine machines
Overall winner Gingerman 2019

Re: Quoatable Lemons

These qoutes are priceless. The people who do this are absolutely insanely genius or horrifically goofy. The black and white of it all has absolutely been painted over with fifty shades of grey! It's both a beating and pure pleasure! I remember Spank immortalizing my quote when he asked me why I chose a 5.0 liter Ford engine. "We might have been hasty in our motor selection" I've regretted it ever since but have been too stubborn to give up on it.

"WE MAY HAVE BEEN HASTY IN OUR MOTOR SELECTION"
Winner Judges Choice ECR 2011, Winner Heroic Fix 2012 TWS, Overly Realistic Automotive Journalist Replica Car ECR 2014,Winner Class B Gatorama MSR Houston 2014, $500.00 bucks baby!

Re: Quoatable Lemons

Son Mats post on facebook after we won Heroic Fix at Summit '13: "We may not win races but we sure can swap motors!"

Fritz

Dahlinboysracing W/Frankenphil  '11 Crown Royal Vic SPWV 73 '12 Tom Sellecka Toyota NJMP 75 SPWV 43 NHMS 65, '13  Toylaren Monticello 120, Daytona 102, SPWV  83 HF! NJMP 41 NHMS 48th '14 Fireball  Integra NJMP 24th NJMP 18th NHMS 90th '15 NJMP 54th Daytona 33RD SPWV 4th Thompson  79th CMP 13th '16 NJMP 43 Thompson 21 CMP 32nd NHMS 24 '17 FB Integra NJMP 68 Cledus Snow Eldorado IGS 118, NCM 24

131 (edited by EyeMWing 2014-03-08 08:27 PM)

Re: Quoatable Lemons

"Hey, do you want a free car? I keep dead animals in the trunk and back seat."
"Deliver it and help remove the soft materials and I'll buy you lunch."

Driver, Pit Monkey, Rod Buster and Engine Fire Starter
Team FinalGear

Re: Quoatable Lemons

After driving the Fairlane at Sebring-
Tony: "It's pretty fast, I was pulling on an airplane taking off next to me."
Me: "That's an 'Air Tractor', one of the slowest airplanes in the world."
Tony: "You couldn't let me have my moment, could you?"

Team Fairlylame
HumidiTT '14 IOE Winner

Re: Quoatable Lemons

Jay @ Sebring after looking at the "motor mount" Sputnik came up with:
"You can't fix stupid.  You can't fix Russian."

Apparently my name is really "Craigers".  Who knew?
We might be yellow, but at least we are slow
I'm a WINNER!

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Re: Quoatable Lemons

https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfp1/t1.0-9/q71/s480x480/10388649_10201400008681092_8309554810948708383_n.jpg

He looked at and just walked away.  The silence was deafening.

This space for rent.

135

Re: Quoatable Lemons

Right after we finished our engine+trans swap at our last race @ Sears Point and I found that our backup transmission was dripping brake fluid from the clutch master cyl (thereby insuring we would need to drop the transmission again to swap back in our primary transmission), John aka TEO stops by and looks at me while I'm underneath the car for the 5th or 6th hour.

"When all this fluid is dropping on your face, just remember to tell yourself I'm Having Fun".


-g

Myopic Motorsport's #888 Ceci n'est pas une Citron Thunderbird ("This is not a lemon" but a 1995 tbird w/ 93 V8 swap + shopping cart rear wing + engine mounted frito maker)
2017 Sears Pointless Organizer’s Choice
Frito Making Tbird from 2018 Sears Pointless Engine Heat BBQ - http://goo.gl/csaet4

Re: Quoatable Lemons

ballpeen wrote:

After driving the Fairlane at Sebring-
Tony: "It's pretty fast, I was pulling on an airplane taking off next to me."
Me: "That's an 'Air Tractor', one of the slowest airplanes in the world."
Tony: "You couldn't let me have my moment, could you?"

It's still an airplane!

Driver, Pit Monkey, Rod Buster and Engine Fire Starter
Team FinalGear

Re: Quoatable Lemons

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aslLu3u710

Re: Quoatable Lemons

Anton preparing to drive the IOE winning Pacer (When it was a helicopter shedding pool noodle-rotors/tailboom/papermache at HPR 2 years back):

"So what tire pressures are you running?"

Rockford Brodie and I look at each other. "Uhhh...let me see if we can find a gauge...."

It took us like 15 minutes to find a gauge and get the pressures sort of sensible.

"If it jams, force it. If it then breaks, it needed fixing anyway." - Folk saying, circa 2000
"Hope for the best, prepare for the worst." - Russian proverb

Re: Quoatable Lemons

That reminds me... I gotta ask Anton what I should try for tire pressures this weekend.  We had a very similar conversation at Road America.  "What tire pressures are you running?"  "Uhhh... whatever they set them at at Discount Tire."

A&D: 2011 Autobahn, 2012 Gingerman, 2012 Road America, 2012 Autobahn II, 2013 Gator-O-Rama (True 24!)
Sir Jackie Stewart's Coin Purse Racing
2013 Chubba Cheddar Enduro - Organizer's Choice, 2014 Doing Time in Joliet
http://www.facebook.com/#!/SirJackieSte … urseRacing

140

Re: Quoatable Lemons

Racin_G73 wrote:

That reminds me... I gotta ask Anton what I should try for tire pressures this weekend.  We had a very similar conversation at Road America.  "What tire pressures are you running?"  "Uhhh... whatever they set them at at Discount Tire."

Hit me up.  I had the same conversation with him about this.

COM ( Chief Operating Moron ) of Burnt Rubber Soul Racing
Current fleet: 95 Ford Probe, 81 Mazda 626.  Past: 81 Imperial
Facebook page:  https://www.facebook.com/burntrubbersoulracing

Re: Quoatable Lemons

ballpeen wrote:

After driving the Fairlane at Sebring-
Tony: "It's pretty fast, I was pulling on an airplane taking off next to me."
Me: "That's an 'Air Tractor', one of the slowest airplanes in the world."
Tony: "You couldn't let me have my moment, could you?"

Reminds me of a while back, my wife and I were in some twin-prop puddle jumper.  I didn't help matters much when she was looking a bit green at takeoff, I peeked around the pilot and checked his speed, looked back at my wife, and said 'I've driven faster.'

Of course, once we were in the air it was a different story, but I wasn't about to tell her that...  lol

Pucker Factor Racing - Gator-O-Rama, Feb '11, Yee-Haw It's Lemons Texas!, Oct '11
Scuderia Ignorante - Yee-Haw, It's Lemons Texas, Feb '12 (As seen in Car & Driver), Gator-O-Rama, Sept '13

Re: Quoatable Lemons

My girlfriend came to the Autobahn race and we where in the penalty box when a car came in.

Deanna: Something is burning. Something burning on that car.

Me: Yeah. That's common here.

Byte Marks Racing - "You knew the job was dangerous when you took it Fred."
1992 Nissan 240SX DM Edition (Drift Master)

Re: Quoatable Lemons

Just before Sears Point in 2011, I showed my wife the famous photo
of Pete "Sparky" Peterson's MGB at Thunder Hill.   It was in mid-air,
nose down.

Wife: "You're going to be driving that car?   You get your ass over to
Werks Racing and get yourself a HANS.   I'm calling them right now
with my credit card number."

"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!"
IOE winner in the Super Snipe -- Buttonwillow 2012
IOE winner in Super Snipe v2.0 -- Buttonwillow 2016
"Every Super Snipe in Lemons has won an IOE!"

144

Re: Quoatable Lemons

dculberson:
"I'm a yuppie hippie redneck, best of all three worlds!  You can pry my sustainably harvested walnut stock shotgun from my cold dead patchouli scented fingers!!"

Re: Quoatable Lemons

Spank wrote:

dculberson:
"I'm a yuppie hippie redneck, best of all three worlds!  You can pry my sustainably harvested walnut stock shotgun from my cold dead patchouli scented fingers!!"

"Hearing" that in my head in Dave's voice makes it alll even better. smile

ONSET/Tetanus Racing, est. 2008.
Guest drives: NSF, Rocket Surgery, Property Devaluation, Terminally Confused, Team Sputnik, The Syndicate, Pit Crew Revenge, Spank, Hella Shitty, Sir Jackie Stewart's Coin Purse, Nine Finger Drifters, Salty Thunder, Panting Polar Bear, Vistabeam, Hangar 13, and Escape Velocity.
74 races so far.

Re: Quoatable Lemons

cpchampion wrote:
Spank wrote:

dculberson:
"I'm a yuppie hippie redneck, best of all three worlds!  You can pry my sustainably harvested walnut stock shotgun from my cold dead patchouli scented fingers!!"

"Hearing" that in my head in Dave's voice makes it alll even better. smile

Awww, thanks!

Quad4 CRX - Wartburg 311 - Civic Wagovan - Parnelli Jones Galaxie - LS400 - Lancia MR2 - Boat - Sentra - 56 Ford Victoria
Known Associate of 3pedal Mafia, Speedycop, and the Russians.  Maybe even NSF.

Re: Quoatable Lemons

Hyatt and I are currently in the Planet Express driving from SC to Richmond.

Me: "Does the fin look okay? "

Hyatt: "Sturdier than ever... thanks to a bee in a kilt. "

Idle Clatter Racing: 1979 Mercedes 300SD Delivery Spaceship,  "Not all ideas are good."
Fall 2013 CMP I.O.E.
Shine Country Classic 2014 and Southern Discomfort: Showed Up; Didn't Blowed Up
Humidi TT: DOMINATION. Barber 2015: "Least Southern Pickup Truck"

Re: Quoatable Lemons

As stated by Soggy this past weekend, " We had to drive 20 miles past the track to pick up the spare Simca".

Only in Lemons.



My team did come up with a new theory to keep the crew informed of the status of the car, "analog telemetry".  Picture giant gauges mounted on the sides of our wing...

"She's a brick house" 57th out of 121 and 5th in Class C, There Goes the Neighborhood 2013
"PA Posse" 21st out of 96 and 2nd in Class C, Capitol Offense 2013.
"PA Posse" 29th out of 133 and Class C WINNER, Halloween Hooptiefest 2013
"PA Posse" 33rd out of 151 and 2nd in Class C, The Real Hoopties 2013

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Re: Quoatable Lemons

racinrob wrote:

As stated by Soggy this past weekend, " We had to drive 20 miles past the track to pick up the spare Simca".

Only in Lemons.

it was actually like 300 miles hmm but yeah that doesn't really help my case any...
it was a good deal though

dead rabbit society: cultured 'n shit.

Re: Quoatable Lemons

This is a quote from MSN Auto that is fitting for our car:

Ford Escort

It's a funny thing about the Ford Escort. If you're driving one of these bargain-basement, front-wheel-drive sedans or coupes produced from 1981 to 2003, you can't afford an escort — you're trolling for a hooker. (Apologies to fishers everywhere for the ichthyological metaphors.)

Byte Marks Racing - "You knew the job was dangerous when you took it Fred."
1992 Nissan 240SX DM Edition (Drift Master)