• Registered: 2012-03-08
  • Posts: 61

Topic: VIRGINS HERE!!

Just wanted to say hi and introduce the Monticello Cheetah Girls to the Lemons forum! Our first race is going to be The Real Hoopties of New Jersey.  We couldn't be more excited!! But other than the couple youtube videos and a horror story from a traumatized past lemoner or two we're not really sure what we're getting ourselves into.

We'd love to get some advice on what to do to win and maybe some warnings on how to avoid punishment.  (Although not all the girls are opposed to that!)  Our inside man has told us usually a large wad of cash helps!  We're hoping that a whole bunch of boobs will be more effective.

Thanks in advance for all your help! We look forward to making a lot of new friends!!

If you'd like to get to know the girls a little better check out our facebook page. www.facebook.com/fastwomen

See you at the track <3
Ashley

www.facebook.com/fastwomen

2 Reply by DC Doug (edited by DC Doug 2012-03-08 05:31 PM)

  • DC Doug
  • DC Doug
  • LeMons Staff Stalker
  • Offline
  • From: Why D.C., of course.
  • Registered: 2010-09-27
  • Posts: 2,344

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

FINALLY!

There have always been a 'whole bunch of boobs' in LeMons, but their names are like: Jeff, Bob, Mike, Dave, etc...  LeMons has always needed more fast women in the paddock.

Boobs, btw, always help.  Kinda like bacon.

NSF Racing // Speedycop Gang
Summit '10, CMP #3 '10, Autobahn '10, CMP #1 '11, NJMP '11, CMP #2 '11, Summit '11, Gingerman #2 '11, Stafford '11, Charlotte '11, Autobahn '11, ECR '11, CMP #1 '12, NJMP '12, Gingerman '12, NHMS #1 '12, Summit '12, CMP #2 '12, NHMS #2 '12, ECR '12, CMP #1 '13, Infamous Rulebreaker: Chihuahua Express '13, ECR '13
Class C winnah! (x2)
  • Registered: 2012-03-08
  • Posts: 61

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

DC Doug wrote:

FINALLY!

There have always been a 'whole bunch of boobs' in LeMons, but they're names are like: Jeff, Bob, Mike, Dave, etc...  LeMons has always needed more fast women in the paddock.

Boobs, btw, always help.  Kinda like bacon.

So you're saying go to costco and stock up on some bacon as well?  Maple? Thick cut? SUPER Think Cut? Dare I say it... Turkey?

I have to imagine I would be penalized if I tried to poison someone by serving Turkey bacon.

www.facebook.com/fastwomen
  • BoB
  • BoB
  • LeMons Staff Stalker
  • Offline
  • From: Elmhurst, IL
  • Registered: 2009-05-01
  • Posts: 2,299

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

A sense of humor will get you a lot farther than a wad of cash in these events.

Looks like you have the old charred beef car.  If I remember right you will need lots of spare motors though.

Racing 4 Nickels - 1989 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera
2011 SHOWROOM-SCHLOCK SHOOTOUT  IOE Winner
2012 The Chubba Cheddar Enduro Class C winner
Facebook Page

BoB's Website

  • Registered: 2012-03-08
  • Posts: 61

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

BoB wrote:

A sense of humor will get you a lot farther than a wad of cash in these events.

Looks like you have the old charred beef car.  If I remember right you will need lots of spare motors though.

It is indeed the old charred beef but it currently smells more like rotted beef!

Is pushing allowed?

www.facebook.com/fastwomen
  • tSoG
  • LeMons Staff Stalker
  • Offline
  • From: the Hill, PA
  • Registered: 2011-06-10
  • Posts: 1,121

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

Totally expected this to be a porn/spam ad. pleasantly surprised to find out that while boobs have been mentioned, bacon has also been considered.

turkey bacon is not bacon. it's a lie. do you want to pay for your mistakes (bribe) with lies, or with bacon?

dead rabbit society: cultured 'n shit.
  • From: Freeport, NY
  • Registered: 2009-05-13
  • Posts: 1,495

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

tSoG wrote:

Totally expected this to be a porn/spam ad. pleasantly surprised to find out that while boobs have been mentioned, bacon has also been considered.

turkey bacon is not bacon. it's a lie. do you want to pay for your mistakes (bribe) with lies, or with bacon?

LOL yeah seriously I was like what have the porn spams made it here?




To the ladies, good luck!  I saw charred beef swap 2 motors in that car in a weekend.

Tom Lomino - Proud to be a 11x Lemons Loser!
Craptain, Team Farfrumwinnin - 1993 Volkswagen Fox #14 (painted like a Ur Quattro)
Click here to "Like" us on Facebook   Click here for our Youtube Videos
Heroic Fix - NHMS 2013, Lemons Lifetime Achievement (of hoplessness) Award Winners

RogueLeader's Website

  • From: Cincinnati, OH
  • Registered: 2010-03-27
  • Posts: 400

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

I still can't tell whether you're virgins to 24HoL or otherwise.

Lemony_Snicket's Website

  • Registered: 2012-03-08
  • Posts: 61

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

tSoG wrote:

Totally expected this to be a porn/spam ad. pleasantly surprised to find out that while boobs have been mentioned, bacon has also been considered.

turkey bacon is not bacon. it's a lie. do you want to pay for your mistakes (bribe) with lies, or with bacon?

You are a wise one!  Bribing with lies can never pay off.  Super Thick Cut it is!!

Thanks for all the well wishes guys! Hopefully we won't have to go flirting around the pits for spare motors ;-)

As to the last question, yes we are all virgins… to the 24 hours :-p

www.facebook.com/fastwomen
  • From: Hayward, CA
  • Registered: 2010-03-23
  • Posts: 992

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

Just checked out your FB page. Who's car did you buy???

Dudes Ex Machina: https://www.facebook.com/dudesexmachina

?Everyone who has ever built anywhere a 'new heaven' first found the power thereto in his own hell- Frederick Nietzsche
  • Registered: 2012-03-08
  • Posts: 61

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

Randy Bell's Chard Beef! Came complete with Randy Bell and crew for the first race. Pretty sure that was just their excuse to spend a weekend with a bunch of women in cat suits and not get yelled at by their wives for it!!

www.facebook.com/fastwomen
  • From: Hayward, CA
  • Registered: 2010-03-23
  • Posts: 992

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

P.S. I'm hoping you really work on those theme outfits. I'm sure all the guys on the east coast are looking forward to helping you get through Tech and BS.

Here is the competition, and its good.

http://blog.caranddriver.com/the-team-c … ns-season/

Dudes Ex Machina: https://www.facebook.com/dudesexmachina

?Everyone who has ever built anywhere a 'new heaven' first found the power thereto in his own hell- Frederick Nietzsche
  • Registered: 2012-03-08
  • Posts: 61

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

Not bad!! It looks like the competition will be stiff but I think we will be up to the challenge!

When we hit 70 likes on Facebook I'm posting a sneak peak at our outfits.  Just a little teaser to peak people's interest ;-)

www.facebook.com/fastwomen
  • From: Freeport, NY
  • Registered: 2009-05-13
  • Posts: 1,495

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

Ok after checking out your page I realize that I know one of your team drivers, and most of you know GJ on my team.  We will be at Jersey with our yellow and white VW Fox if you need a hand.

Tom Lomino - Proud to be a 11x Lemons Loser!
Craptain, Team Farfrumwinnin - 1993 Volkswagen Fox #14 (painted like a Ur Quattro)
Click here to "Like" us on Facebook   Click here for our Youtube Videos
Heroic Fix - NHMS 2013, Lemons Lifetime Achievement (of hoplessness) Award Winners

RogueLeader's Website

  • tSoG
  • LeMons Staff Stalker
  • Offline
  • From: the Hill, PA
  • Registered: 2011-06-10
  • Posts: 1,121

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

ashleykalyn wrote:

Super Thick Cut it is!!

I prefer my bacon in slab form. it let's me play with knives before most people have even thought about waking up, and also allows me to cut every slice 3/8ths of an inch thick. you can't buy bacon thick enough for tSoG's signature sammiches...

dead rabbit society: cultured 'n shit.
  • Registered: 2012-03-08
  • Posts: 61

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

RogueLeader wrote:

Ok after checking out your page I realize that I know one of your team drivers, and most of you know GJ on my team.  We will be at Jersey with our yellow and white VW Fox if you need a hand.

Well if you know GJ I'm sure you'll know us all very well by the end of the weekend! Oh and whatever GJ says about us is probably not true… unless it was positve then it's most definitely true!!

www.facebook.com/fastwomen
  • Registered: 2012-03-08
  • Posts: 61

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

tSoG wrote:
ashleykalyn wrote:

Super Thick Cut it is!!

I prefer my bacon in slab form. it let's me play with knives before most people have even thought about waking up, and also allows me to cut every slice 3/8ths of an inch thick. you can't buy bacon thick enough for tSoG's signature sammiches...

Wow!! How did I get my hands on what seems to be an epic sandwich?!?!

www.facebook.com/fastwomen
  • From: Doylestown PA
  • Registered: 2011-04-05
  • Posts: 570

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

good move getting chard beef - people are already afraid of that beast, and grateful for that teams generous and helpful attitude.  can't wait to meet you all - we'll be the ones with the creepy baby audi, and the SWEET mercedes r107 - welcome.  "liked" your fb.

Rally Baby Racing 87 Audi 4000 CS Quattro, Audi 90 Quattro Coupe, 1975 Mercedes R107, 87 E30 squared, E36, etc., a Lincoln(?!), the Whorenet...
Judge Phil: "Audis Never Win" - damn.  He might be right - 11 chances, close but no dice. 
Stafford 2011 - podium - how'd that happen? Summit Point 2012 "WV ASSimilation award"
NJMP 2012 Organizer's Choice - R107, 2013 Monticello IOF'nE Whorenet Yee Haw!
  • Registered: 2012-03-08
  • Posts: 61

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

Thanks for the like!!

Mercedes? Audi? Are you sure you're at the right race?

www.facebook.com/fastwomen
  • From: Columbus, OH
  • Registered: 2009-05-26
  • Posts: 1,805

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

You haven't seen their Audi.

Quad4 CRX - Wartburg 311 - Civic Wagovan - Parnelli Jones Galaxie - LS400 - Lancia MR2 - Boat
Known Associate of 3pedal Mafia, Speedycop, and the Russians.

21 Reply by Mike C. (edited by Mike C. 2012-03-08 09:55 PM)

  • From: Doylestown PA
  • Registered: 2011-04-05
  • Posts: 570

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

yeah - it's awful.  the mercedes is like a thousand times worse!
check out, and friend rally baby on facebook!

Rally Baby Racing 87 Audi 4000 CS Quattro, Audi 90 Quattro Coupe, 1975 Mercedes R107, 87 E30 squared, E36, etc., a Lincoln(?!), the Whorenet...
Judge Phil: "Audis Never Win" - damn.  He might be right - 11 chances, close but no dice. 
Stafford 2011 - podium - how'd that happen? Summit Point 2012 "WV ASSimilation award"
NJMP 2012 Organizer's Choice - R107, 2013 Monticello IOF'nE Whorenet Yee Haw!
  • From: Freeport, NY
  • Registered: 2009-05-13
  • Posts: 1,495

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

ashleykalyn wrote:
RogueLeader wrote:

Ok after checking out your page I realize that I know one of your team drivers, and most of you know GJ on my team.  We will be at Jersey with our yellow and white VW Fox if you need a hand.

Well if you know GJ I'm sure you'll know us all very well by the end of the weekend! Oh and whatever GJ says about us is probably not true… unless it was positve then it's most definitely true!!

ohh boy i'll have to find out so I'm forewarned.

check out our page you can see some cool pics of him lifting a wheel on our car.

Tom Lomino - Proud to be a 11x Lemons Loser!
Craptain, Team Farfrumwinnin - 1993 Volkswagen Fox #14 (painted like a Ur Quattro)
Click here to "Like" us on Facebook   Click here for our Youtube Videos
Heroic Fix - NHMS 2013, Lemons Lifetime Achievement (of hoplessness) Award Winners

RogueLeader's Website

  • From: Clinton Corners, NY
  • Registered: 2012-02-12
  • Posts: 79

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

Good luck, ladies- we're over the river in Dutchess County, so if you ever need a hand, let us know! Mark W.

  • From: Gilbertsville, PA
  • Registered: 2009-12-22
  • Posts: 1,838

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

Our team happens to have a life size stuffed cheetah that we could loan, if you're interested.  It took the place of a Cougar for Ricky Bobby to "ride the fear".

Is this car the same one at NJMP last year?

I'll get a "like" over there when my computer stops having a fit on FB.  We've got a page for Silent But Deady Racing.  the old team name Flyin Turd race team has a couple of pics of the cheetah on FB too.

Former Flyin Turd Race Team Captain  Now Silent But Deadly Racing Dictator for life!
Ricky Bobby's Laughing Clown Malt Liquor Thunderbird Turbo Coupe'- 21st @ Capitol Offense 2010, 17th @ DTW Bull Oil 2010
2011-Up in flames, Real Hoopties, off the wall, Capitol Offense 2011 in a clapped out 510, 18/84 @ VIR 24 505 Team America Mustang
2012-????  Real Hoopties, Capitol Offense, VIR 24
  • Registered: 2012-03-08
  • Posts: 61

Re: VIRGINS HERE!!

Mike C. wrote:

yeah - it's awful.  the mercedes is like a thousand times worse!
check out, and friend rally baby on facebook!

Unless you guys are driving a Monster Truck I can't find you on facebook! What's the link?

www.facebook.com/fastwomen