Or just lie. The more outrageous the lie, the better. A good story is always better than the boring truth. A large binder stuffed with crudely faked receipts is good. Lots of completely irrelevant pictures also helps, along with spreadsheets with lots of numbers. Maybe include a celebrity as well, like this used to be Pia Zadora's Ford Escort. They are going to look at the car and make up their own minds anyway, so it's not like a bunch of justification is going to let you bring a BMW Z3 and get away with no penalty laps. Oh, wait, never mind, but still, lie often and lie big.
Everybody grab your brooms, it's shenanigans!