Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

very inventive!!!  Its scary...but I like it!

Richard Doty
1984 Porsche 928 "Estate"
Porsche- "there is A substitute" Racing
Dirt Poorsche Racing #2

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

The tech guys I've seen might joke about accepting bribes... oh, hell, they'll ACCEPT them... but they do take their job seriously.  They're not going to let an unsafe car out on the track.

I think anybody who gave up money or booze to a tech inspector was either being gullible, or just rewarding a thankless job well done.

Lemons South 2008 - Fail, Lemons South Spring 2009 - Fail, Lemons Detroit(ish) 2008 - Fail, Lemons South Fall 2009 - Fail, Lamest Day 2009 - Fail, Miami 2010 (Chump) - 2nd!, Sebring 2010 (Chump) - Fail, Cuba 2010 - Crew Chief, Roebling 2011 (Chump) - 8th!, Sebring 2011(Chump) - 19th!

28 (edited by EvergreenDan 2009-10-27 04:40 AM)

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

TeamDFL wrote:

We also had to cough up some of our contingency cash in the tech line at Stafford. ...

Speaking only for myself and not for my team:

Extorting cash at tech is totally uncool.

Accepting cash at tech is totally uncool.

Extorting cash at BS would be uncool, and I have no evidence that it's happened. The BS laps given seem reasonably fair. (Extorting would be giving extra laps in a deliberate attempt to get a cash bribe.)

Accepting cash at BS is borderline. Hey, if a team wants to do it, fine, but I think it's not very LeMon spirited. Charity would be different. But I don't really care and it doesn't affect me.

Accepting liquor, food, clothing, etc. bribes at BS is totally cool and in the spirit of Lemons. Most of the booze and food goes to the hard working corner workers and officials, anyway.

Accepting non-cash bribes in the penalty box is totally cool. They did it at Stafford, but we got the cold shoulder at NL. I'm fine either way so long as everyone plays by the same rules. Cash in the penalty box would be uncool.

Near-Orbital Space Monkeys
#528 BMW 528e 121hp Black "Saturn 5" Rocket car with orange foam flames. Sold.
#71 Yellow Fox Mustang. For sale.

29 (edited by MurileeMartin 2009-10-27 05:17 AM)

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

EvergreenDan wrote:
TeamDFL wrote:

We also had to cough up some of our contingency cash in the tech line at Stafford. ...

Accepting cash at BS is borderline.

Whaddya talkin' about? We love cash bribes! Why do you think we have a big jar labeled "BRIBE$" at every race? Of course, bribing us is sort of like the Chinese bribing Bill Clinton... you might not get what you pay for!

As for the safety/tech guys extorting bribes, that damn well shouldn't be happening and I have a tough time believing that it ever has (we cut them in on the BS bribes; in fact, they get the majority of the booze given to us). Their job is to keep you schmucks from killing yourselves with your plumbing-pipe cages and piano-wire seat harnesses, and they don't cut any slack on sketchy-ass hardware.

30 (edited by TeamDFL 2009-10-27 06:23 AM)

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

It was a mugging, not a bribe.  He never even checked tubing diameter or wall thickness on our car.  He just stood there with caliper in hand repeating "I don't know, that looks pretty thin" as edged closer and closer to my wallet.

Is it my fault for counting my cash to prep for BS?


Eljefe17, what car were you driving?  We had the red E30 318.


MurileeMartin wrote:

As for the safety/tech guys extorting bribes, that damn well shouldn't be happening and I have a tough time believing that it ever has (we cut them in on the BS bribes; in fact, they get the majority of the booze given to us).

With at least two teams reporting such behavior, it is safe to assume that the tech guys at Stafford have gone rogue.  Bring a couple extra twenties next July.

http://www.ducttapemotorsports.com/
http://www.teamdfl.com
"I can see it now, a pile of nickels and all the glory of being a real race car driver."
Prepping the Red wReck for the 24 Hours of Lemons

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

TeamDFL wrote:

It was a mugging, not a bribe.  He never even checked tubing diameter or wall thickness on our car.  He just stood there with caliper in hand repeating "I don't know, that looks pretty thin" as edged closer and closer to my wallet.

Is it my fault for counting my cash to prep for BS?


Eljefe17, what car were you driving?  We had the red E30 318.


MurileeMartin wrote:

As for the safety/tech guys extorting bribes, that damn well shouldn't be happening and I have a tough time believing that it ever has (we cut them in on the BS bribes; in fact, they get the majority of the booze given to us).

With at least two teams reporting such behavior, it is safe to assume that the tech guys at Stafford have gone rogue.  Bring an extra couple twenties next July.

i was in the firebird that pitted next to you guys (and again in NL, but not with the firebird), and were commiserating about tech then too.

the tech guys appropriated our bribes and then, they did seem a little less than thorough with their inspections

Murilee and Johnny weren't at stafford and it definitely seemed to have a more 'anything goes' feel to it, if that is possible over the normal atmosphere

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

As a tech guy at Reno this year and the up coming Freeza-arse-apalooza I will gladly accept bribes at tech.  I won't go any easier on you or let crap pass through but I will accept bribes none the less.  smile  A Benjamin will not make me look past your improperly bolted in roll cage or molotov cocktail fuel cell.  See yall in the wintry hell of Willows!!

Chris "Future Lemons racer, for now just tech nerd" Hanzel

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

Why doesn't anyone try to bribe the corner workers? They're the ones who can help you the most!

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

Maybe if we bribe the tech workers, they might not say "wow, those are crappy welds"  (yes, I'm looking at you John)

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

http://www.sportscarmarket.com/content/carrera

Near-Orbital Space Monkeys
#528 BMW 528e 121hp Black "Saturn 5" Rocket car with orange foam flames. Sold.
#71 Yellow Fox Mustang. For sale.

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

I can see the conversation now:

Tech Inspector: What's your theme?
Lemons Team "To the Pain!"
Tech Inspector: Whisky Tango Foxtrot?
Lemons Team: "To the pain" means the first thing our blade will cut off will be your feet, below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists. Next, your nose.
Tech Inspector: [losing his patience] And then my tongue, I suppose. We passed your car last time, a mistake we don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Lemons Team: We weren't finished! The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right —
Tech Inspector: [exasperated] And then my ears. I understand! Let's get on with it —
Lemons Team: WRONG! Your ears you keep, and we'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing our car will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at our approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means.

Summer's Eve Racing - '09 Yee-Haw; '10 Gator-O-Rama, NorDal Hooptie, Yee-Haw; '11 Gator-O-Rama, NorDal Hooptie (Winner, Class A!)
TARP Racing - '11 Yee-Haw, Heaps; '12 Gator-O-Rama (Winner, Class C ... Looking for a Class B Win to Complete the Trifecta!), Heaps; '13 NorDal Hooptie, Gator-O-Rama

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

YesIFit wrote:

I can see the conversation now:

Tech Inspector: What's your theme?
Lemons Team "To the Pain!"
Tech Inspector: Whisky Tango Foxtrot?
Lemons Team: "To the pain" means the first thing our blade will cut off will be your feet, below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists. Next, your nose.
Tech Inspector: [losing his patience] And then my tongue, I suppose. We passed your car last time, a mistake we don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Lemons Team: We weren't finished! The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right —
Tech Inspector: [exasperated] And then my ears. I understand! Let's get on with it —
Lemons Team: WRONG! Your ears you keep, and we'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing our car will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at our approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means.

I'm thinking a theme change is in order! smile

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

FreeRange wrote:

I'm thinking a theme change is in order! smile

INCONCEIVABLE!!

"Real ZomBees prefer Bacon"
IOE(x2) MGB/SAAB 96, Judge's Choice, Class C Win, & 2011 Hooniverse Car of the Year!
MRolla, Stick Figure/Animal House, Free Range MR2, SAAB Sonett, "The Death Flip"
2008 Exoskeleton Jag Fiasco, Concours d Lemons - Rue Britannia, worse British car.

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

YesIFit wrote:

I can see the conversation now:

Tech Inspector: What's your theme?
Lemons Team "To the Pain!"
Tech Inspector: Whisky Tango Foxtrot?
Lemons Team: "To the pain" means the first thing our blade will cut off will be your feet, below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists. Next, your nose.
Tech Inspector: [losing his patience] And then my tongue, I suppose. We passed your car last time, a mistake we don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Lemons Team: We weren't finished! The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right —
Tech Inspector: [exasperated] And then my ears. I understand! Let's get on with it —
Lemons Team: WRONG! Your ears you keep, and we'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing our car will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at our approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means.

Thanks for making my day.

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

MurileeMartin wrote:

Why doesn't anyone try to bribe the corner workers? They're the ones who can help you the most!

Hmmm...  I'm going to have to remember that...  The next time one of our drivers spin they can drive by the next corner stand and throw out a bag of cash!

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

FreeRange wrote:

Maybe if we bribe the tech workers, they might not say "wow, those are crappy welds"  (yes, I'm looking at you John)

Me?, you must be joking

Gosh, my business card says 'Tech Tyrant'

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

TeamDFL wrote:

With at least two teams reporting such behavior, it is safe to assume that the tech guys at Stafford have gone rogue.  Bring a couple extra twenties next July.

I can't talk specifically about tech, but I know that they were eliciting "bribes" for people to get out of the penalty area at Stafford.

--Rob Leone Schumacher Taxi Service
We won the IOE at Southern Discomfort.
We got screwed at The Real Hoopties of New Jersey  and we took cars down with us.
We got the curse at Capitol Offense but they wouldn't let us destroy the car.

43 (edited by MurileeMartin 2009-10-27 02:58 PM)

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

Looks like Judge Jonny and I may have to make the trip to Stafford next year... and CLEAN HOUSE!

Actually, all we need to do is make sure Jay "Comrade Stalin" Lamm gulag-izes any tech inspector who isn't on the legit. You may think the judges are mean, but we're more like nice-guys Molotov and Beria next to him.

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

RobL wrote:
TeamDFL wrote:

With at least two teams reporting such behavior, it is safe to assume that the tech guys at Stafford have gone rogue.  Bring a couple extra twenties next July.

I can't talk specifically about tech, but I know that they were eliciting "bribes" for people to get out of the penalty area at Stafford.

Bribing takes place on Friday during BS inspection, and that's it. Period.

Many of you can attest/testify to the fact that you've tried to bribe us during the race (us being me and Judge Murilee) and have been flat turned down. Even the leader of the Ponticrap Fiero (we're driving excrement!) that tried to slip us a $100 bill was cold turned down, rebuffed.

First of all, you had your chance. Second of all, no amount of money or booze can replace the shear joy we get in watching shaking, sweaty racers read speeches from Comrade Obama while perched atop their cars.

Looks like Judge Murilee and I will have to make a trip out to Stamford and put on a show trial or two. Please feel free to inform against any and all that you feel wronged you.

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"

45 (edited by TexanIdiot25 2009-10-30 08:40 AM)

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

That is so beyond awesome looking. As for those worried about loosing fingers, are you really going to have your hands near the blades while the car is driving at 40+ miles per hour?

It's a wind mill, of sorts. It has no power to spin itself... Has practically no chance of lawn-mowering your toes off while it's moving around the pits or stopped.

Beef up the support structure and let this contraption run!

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

Funny thing about Lemons cars... they crash.  There's no telling where those sharp blades could end up.

By all means, RUN IT!  Just find a way to make it safer so the tech inspectors don't have to tell you "that's not going out on my race track, take it off".

Lemons South 2008 - Fail, Lemons South Spring 2009 - Fail, Lemons Detroit(ish) 2008 - Fail, Lemons South Fall 2009 - Fail, Lamest Day 2009 - Fail, Miami 2010 (Chump) - 2nd!, Sebring 2010 (Chump) - Fail, Cuba 2010 - Crew Chief, Roebling 2011 (Chump) - 8th!, Sebring 2011(Chump) - 19th!

47 (edited by Jer 2009-10-30 10:30 AM)

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

RobL wrote:
TeamDFL wrote:

With at least two teams reporting such behavior, it is safe to assume that the tech guys at Stafford have gone rogue.  Bring a couple extra twenties next July.

I can't talk specifically about tech, but I know that they were eliciting "bribes" for people to get out of the penalty area at Stafford.

Yes, absolutely.  We had to give up Animal out of the coROLLa one time.  And they took our rubber duckie, too!  Although Animal was later rightfully returned to us when we sent a female to plead for its release.

Jer / Schumacher Taxi Service
2010 Spring CMP I.O.E. winner
2010 Sebring overall winner
1996 Miata, 1991 BMW E30, 1987 coROLLa (retired), 1984 Citation (retired), 1993 Miata (retired)

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

What relevance does this have to their bladed wheel of death?

Sons of STIG
Judge Jonny, "So, what's the next formerly thought to be immune from winning that will steal the nickels?An MR2? A Fierro (ha ha ha)? A Datsun/Nissan Z? A Camaro?"

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

Riktor wrote:

What relevance does this have to their bladed wheel of death?

Liability and breaching the signed waivers. I'm no lawyer, but I wouldn't want to be anywhere near that tech bribery if someone got hurt and the car didn't meet tech. Failure to uniformly follow the club/tracks rules was an issue in the case, which was settled out of court.

Near-Orbital Space Monkeys
#528 BMW 528e 121hp Black "Saturn 5" Rocket car with orange foam flames. Sold.
#71 Yellow Fox Mustang. For sale.

Re: Free Range Racing tests uber pointless technology!

EvergreenDan wrote:
Riktor wrote:

What relevance does this have to their bladed wheel of death?

Liability and breaching the signed waivers. I'm no lawyer, but I wouldn't want to be anywhere near that tech bribery if someone got hurt and the car didn't meet tech. Failure to uniformly follow the club/tracks rules was an issue in the case, which was settled out of court.

I see i see... now I follow you. I thought it was a random post about a track mishap.

Sons of STIG
Judge Jonny, "So, what's the next formerly thought to be immune from winning that will steal the nickels?An MR2? A Fierro (ha ha ha)? A Datsun/Nissan Z? A Camaro?"