Topic: COABM Manifesto

I'm so tired of all this "I'll trade bacon for X" and "Free bacon for anyone who can help me with Y' ... Have we the world of Lemons become so predictable in our choice of bribes and breakfast meats that we are slowly becoming replaceable by bacon distributing automatons??

We the Coalition of Alternate Breakfast Meats have been trying to enlighten you all, to show you the path out of the avoidable mono-pork product future... but sadly you all seem to be happily heading toward a cliff of bacon, lemming like in you lack of fore site to the dangers ahead of you.

We can no longer stand by and allow you to simply have crispy or chewy bacon as the only options on your breakfast plate. We shall rise, we shall overcome the bacon establishment, and we shall bring choice of breakfast meats to the people. 

If you do not stand with us, with our bountiful stores of Pork Roll, Scrapple, sausage, ham and who knows we may even have some bacon next to the beans and toast ... you stand against us and we will will break down you walls of bacon.

This will be the COABM Manifesto ... and it will go down in Lemons history! ... welcome to day one AB.  (After Bacon!)

Jeff
Three Pedal Mafia
Ombudsman - Coalition of Alternate Breakfast Meats

Re: COABM Manifesto

Where is turkey bacon in your manifesto?

Bacon?  no. 
Turkey.  Technically, yes.
Pretty tasty!!!

Silent But Deadly Racing- Chief cook and bottle washer, Former Flyin Turd Race Team Captain 
Ricky Bobby's Laughing Clown Malt Liquor Thunderbird Turbo Coupe, Datsun 510, 87 Mustang (The Race Team Formerly Known as Prince), 72 Pinto Squire waggy, Parnelli Jones 67 Galaxie
Besmirching race tracks in the Eastern US since 2001

Re: COABM Manifesto

You fools have contracted brain-eating encephalitis or something from eating too much scrapple and head cheese - pork roll is a sausage (and a delicious one that is also available in Publix grocery stores in Florida!)

Official photographer/Team Police Brutality|Speedycop & the Gang
Lackey-mechanic-whatever/NSF Racing
Sycophant/Judge Phil, Jay Lamm, Kim Harmon
Galaxie Driver/not Parnelli Jones

Re: COABM Manifesto

SAUSAGE FOREVER!!!!  CHARGE!!!!

Tunachuckers: 10 Years of Sucking at Sucking
2008- 2010:  1966 Volvo 122, "Charlie"
2010-present:  1975 Ford LTD Landau...doesn't have a name?
2018:  1951 "Plymford".  Organizer's Choice - CMP Fall 2018 Hurricane Florence reschedule

Re: COABM Manifesto

I find that bacon is an excellent garnish for a pork roll sandwich,  Peaceful coexistence.

The Roto-Racer '89 Merkur:  If it ain't rusting, It ain't racing.

'14 Real Hoopties of NJ: Judges Choice

Re: COABM Manifesto

this means war.

dead rabbit society: cultured 'n shit.

Re: COABM Manifesto

Let's see ... 1am, a few grammatical errors, Jeff I do believe that Tuesday is a little early in the week to be drunk!  That's okay, I may have had a few gin and tonics and at least one and a half IPA's so I'm not one to scold.

Quad4 CRX - Wartburg 311 - Civic Wagovan - Parnelli Jones Galaxie - LS400 - Lancia MR2 - Boat - Sentra - 56 Ford Victoria
Known Associate of 3pedal Mafia, Speedycop, and the Russians.  Maybe even NSF.

Re: COABM Manifesto

dculberson wrote:

Let's see ... 1am, a few grammatical errors, Jeff I do believe that Tuesday is a little early in the week to be drunk!  That's okay, I may have had a few gin and tonics and at least one and a half IPA's so I'm not one to scold.

And it's only 9:51 AM, that's a great start to the day!

Three Pedal Mafia: IOE > Overall
Wartburg | Wagovan | The Boat | Rolls Royce | Civic Giraffe | Citroen SM | TR7 3800SC | Cressida | Isuzu Hombre
Some IOEs, class wins, org choices, heroic fixes, I got screwed's, etc.

Re: COABM Manifesto

Sonic wrote:
dculberson wrote:

Let's see ... 1am, a few grammatical errors, Jeff I do believe that Tuesday is a little early in the week to be drunk!  That's okay, I may have had a few gin and tonics and at least one and a half IPA's so I'm not one to scold.

And it's only 9:51 AM, that's a great start to the day!

Hell yeah!

Don't judge me.

Quad4 CRX - Wartburg 311 - Civic Wagovan - Parnelli Jones Galaxie - LS400 - Lancia MR2 - Boat - Sentra - 56 Ford Victoria
Known Associate of 3pedal Mafia, Speedycop, and the Russians.  Maybe even NSF.

Re: COABM Manifesto

I'm only judging you for not finishing that second IPA!

Three Pedal Mafia: IOE > Overall
Wartburg | Wagovan | The Boat | Rolls Royce | Civic Giraffe | Citroen SM | TR7 3800SC | Cressida | Isuzu Hombre
Some IOEs, class wins, org choices, heroic fixes, I got screwed's, etc.

Re: COABM Manifesto

I'm voting BACON!!!!1!
Not just for personal reasons...
It just goes with more stuff!

Captain of the Speedholes Wrenching #365 1965 Rambler Marlin and owner of the "Cockroach 454 Chevy Bigblock". Collector Emeritus of awful crapcans.
Earned every finish with Blood, Sweat, Tears,  Smoked brakes,dead wheelbearings, two blower explosions, and a never-ending thirst for more fuel. Finished em all! Currently hiding in a secret base in the shadow of the "Race to the Clouds".

Re: COABM Manifesto

Sonic wrote:

I'm only judging you for not finishing that second IPA!

Lisa drank the other half.  I swear!  No beer foul, not with my precious Stone IPA!

Quad4 CRX - Wartburg 311 - Civic Wagovan - Parnelli Jones Galaxie - LS400 - Lancia MR2 - Boat - Sentra - 56 Ford Victoria
Known Associate of 3pedal Mafia, Speedycop, and the Russians.  Maybe even NSF.

Re: COABM Manifesto

I hate to break it to you but all bacon all the time is just plain boring. There is no reason to be so predictable as to have only bacon as your breakfast meat. This is Lemons where we should be celebrating the different. We are not about easy, herd like choices. There are other racing organizations for that. We like the different. We like the crazy, odd-ball choices.

Bacon in all its forms is like the BMW 3 series cars that show up to our races. There are different cuts of bacon sure, but there are e-30s and e-36s. Good cars for sure, but really not where we all want to be! Think about it, we love different, that is why we are here and not racing with some other group. How many of us refuse to be a car selection zombie? Why are you a breakfast meat zombie?

Celebrate the Scrapple just like the eastern European cars!
Celebrate the Spam just like the quirky french cars!
Celebrate the Pork Roll just like the never reliable malaise era beasts!

Join the Coalition of Alternate Breakfast Meats and stand against all the sameness that is bacon!

Jim - 3 Pedal Mafia
Dustbuster AWD Civic WagoVan
SeaSprite/S10 a.k.a. "The Boat"

Re: COABM Manifesto

I want snake-bacon waffles for breakfast. Do snakes have enough fat to produce bacon-like meat? SOMEONE FIND OUT!

Re: COABM Manifesto

Weren't you in a band in college called "Snake Bacon?"

That sounds like something I would have gotten on 7" when I was a college radio music director.

Re: COABM Manifesto

Ostrich Sausage.

Tunachuckers: 10 Years of Sucking at Sucking
2008- 2010:  1966 Volvo 122, "Charlie"
2010-present:  1975 Ford LTD Landau...doesn't have a name?
2018:  1951 "Plymford".  Organizer's Choice - CMP Fall 2018 Hurricane Florence reschedule

Re: COABM Manifesto

TheWake wrote:

I hate to break it to you but all bacon all the time is just plain boring. There is no reason to be so predictable as to have only bacon as your breakfast meat. This is Lemons where we should be celebrating the different. We are not about easy, herd like choices. There are other racing organizations for that. We like the different. We like the crazy, odd-ball choices.

Bacon in all its forms is like the BMW 3 series cars that show up to our races. There are different cuts of bacon sure, but there are e-30s and e-36s. Good cars for sure, but really not where we all want to be! Think about it, we love different, that is why we are here and not racing with some other group. How many of us refuse to be a car selection zombie? Why are you a breakfast meat zombie?

Celebrate the Scrapple just like the eastern European cars!
Celebrate the Spam just like the quirky french cars!
Celebrate the Pork Roll just like the never reliable malaise era beasts!

Join the Coalition of Alternate Breakfast Meats and stand against all the sameness that is bacon!


why don't you call my bacon an e30 to my face and see what happens?




I just heard from his legal advisor. le mopar will be boycotting east coast races until you apologize for the spam comment.

dead rabbit society: cultured 'n shit.

Re: COABM Manifesto

tSoG wrote:

why don't you call my bacon an e30 to my face and see what happens?




I just heard from his legal advisor. le mopar will be boycotting east coast races until you apologize for the spam comment.

Exactly, bacon thrives on violent conflict with all those who dare to eat alternate breakfast meats. Inclusivity is a better way forward for all of breakfast. I will not be bullied.

As for Le Mopar, I stand by my comment. It is quirky and under-appreciated. It is just like Spam. Both should be at the front lines of standing up to tyranny for the better of all mankind.

Jim - 3 Pedal Mafia
Dustbuster AWD Civic WagoVan
SeaSprite/S10 a.k.a. "The Boat"

Re: COABM Manifesto

Not that it sets the bar high or anything but Bacos are vegan. Just throwing wrenches...

-Killer B's (as in rally) '84 4000Q 4.2V8. Audis never win?

Re: COABM Manifesto

dculberson wrote:

Let's see ... 1am, a few grammatical errors, Jeff I do believe that Tuesday is a little early in the week to be drunk!  That's okay, I may have had a few gin and tonics and at least one and a half IPA's so I'm not one to scold.

Not drunk ... just totally fed up and punch drunk from lack of sleep.  stayed up all night doing work work when I go to the forums for some enjoyment and all I see is this bacon shit ... not a single spam or pork roll comment ... trust me I'm not expecting scrapple levels of enlightenment, just hoping for more out of my Lemons brotherhood.

Now this ...

Drdanteiii wrote:

I find that bacon is an excellent garnish for a pork roll sandwich,  Peaceful coexistence.

That's enlightenment ... Get that guy an application for the coalition.

Snake Bacon ... were getting closer ... Ostrich sausage and the availability of pork roll south of the manson-nixon line... now I have hope!!

I'm glad I started the thread to get all of us like minded people together ... Tsog and Mr Seen ... I'm respectfully suggesting you go jump in a lake.

Jeff
Three Pedal Mafia
Ombudsman - Coalition of Alternate Breakfast Meats

Re: COABM Manifesto

As long as its a nice bacon lake.....mmmmmmmmm....
How does the "Manson-Nixon" line relate to the Ihop-Waffle House line?
I might be up for this snake-bacon thing...

Captain of the Speedholes Wrenching #365 1965 Rambler Marlin and owner of the "Cockroach 454 Chevy Bigblock". Collector Emeritus of awful crapcans.
Earned every finish with Blood, Sweat, Tears,  Smoked brakes,dead wheelbearings, two blower explosions, and a never-ending thirst for more fuel. Finished em all! Currently hiding in a secret base in the shadow of the "Race to the Clouds".

Re: COABM Manifesto

Hmmm.

How about guinea pig bacon, with country-style peruvian potatoes on the side?

Ex-USAF civilian, still a wench

Re: COABM Manifesto

No. Have seen these cooked-in-fur. WAAAAY too road kill for this kid to EVAR think about. NO. NONONONONONO!

Captain of the Speedholes Wrenching #365 1965 Rambler Marlin and owner of the "Cockroach 454 Chevy Bigblock". Collector Emeritus of awful crapcans.
Earned every finish with Blood, Sweat, Tears,  Smoked brakes,dead wheelbearings, two blower explosions, and a never-ending thirst for more fuel. Finished em all! Currently hiding in a secret base in the shadow of the "Race to the Clouds".

Re: COABM Manifesto

you people are sick. long live bacon, king of breakfast!

dead rabbit society: cultured 'n shit.

Re: COABM Manifesto

Sir Thomas Crapper wrote:

Where is turkey bacon in your manifesto?

Bacon?  no. 
Turkey.  Technically, yes.
Pretty tasty!!!

There is absolutely nothing tasty about turkey bacon. It is neither bacon, nor can it still be called turkey after being pounded into a bacon-like shape and painted with chemicals to attempt to pass it off as a bacon-like thing. It is a cardboard flavored abomination that belongs on no breakfast plate anywhere. Just sayin.

Butt Sweat & Beers.