Topic: Longbridge Limeys looking for employment at Halloween Hooptifest
Following the SHAMEFUL closure of the heart of British motoring excellence, namely, Rovers Longbridge works in Birmingham (England, not Alabama), by the capitalist pigdog Thatcher Government, we two hard-shirking Englishmen seek employment in the new world. Both card-carrying Union members, cast in the same mould as comrade Red Robbo, we can be relied upon to fulfil some, if not all, duties required in the pitlane and/or drivers seat of any British Leyland flavoured team that may be gracing Halloween Hooptifest this October. We can supply our own ale (because yours is piss), tools (liberated from Longbridge's toolroom), and BL spare parts needed (also liberated from Longbridge because, as Karl Marx said - all property is theft anyway) and over two decades experience in hitting an O series engine with a hammer inbetween the inevitable strikes.
Skills include; negotiation with management over pay and conditions, lighting of (and standing behind) braziers, placard waving, chanting of socialist slogans, wearing of brown coats, large hair and flat caps with a sullen expression, pelting Bobbies with brick ends, preparation of and drinking of endless cups of tepid tea, typing wild and increasingly unrealistic demands in triplicate to whoever, pilfering, distribution of communist propaganda, lock-outs, talking in a near-impenetrable but simultaneously clearly xenophobic Birmingham accent, oh, and repairing old British things to the same flawless standard as new. British only, sorry, we don't do G*rman because those buggers bombed our fish and chip shop.
The Amalgamated Union of Engineering Layabouts will pay for our travel and accommodation costs, we seek only gainful work with like-minded brethren in the pit-lane and/or drivers seat of a willing team at Hooptifest this October.
Yours in solidarity,