Topic: How do we (legally) learn about (stalk) the BS judges?

We have the boobs part covered. I mean really covered. We have quite a bit of diversity so a boob for everyone, a different size/color/tan/shade boob for every day of the week if you will...

We are hatching a bigger plan but need a little bit of info. Are there topics on bribery or good bribes? Who likes what? We have two things that may take some advance knowledge. How would we (legally LOL) learn what things they like without asking publicly and giving away our plan? Is there someone we can email or talk to who won't rat out our plans?


(there also may be some branding issues involved...)

Re: How do we (legally) learn about (stalk) the BS judges?

Most of them have Facebook pages, so that's a start.

Re: How do we (legally) learn about (stalk) the BS judges?

Lots of discussion here on these boards.
I find Google does a better job searching than the built in search engine.

https://www.google.com/search?num=100&a … com+bribes

Re: How do we (legally) learn about (stalk) the BS judges?

1215 wrote:

We have the boobs part covered. I mean really covered. We have quite a bit of diversity so a boob for everyone, a different size/color/tan/shade boob for every day of the week if you will...

We are hatching a bigger plan but need a little bit of info. Are there topics on bribery or good bribes? Who likes what? We have two things that may take some advance knowledge. How would we (legally LOL) learn what things they like without asking publicly and giving away our plan? Is there someone we can email or talk to who won't rat out our plans?


(there also may be some branding issues involved...)

You could just ask publicly what the individual Judges on here like.

I had a Dossier a while back of some of the more regular judges. They want stuff to drink THERE, none of them have a need to ever stock a bar again. Quantities of individual things goes over well since they can share the bounty with Staff and Corner workers.

Cakes and such tend to be under consumed due to the fact that they have to do this multiple time a month and don't want to have to buy new larger race gear every six months.

Weird die-cast soviet cars is Judge Phill's kryptonite. Any other weird Communist BLOC tschotchkies work well on him too.

Your team and/or theme related memorabilia, T-shirts, junk is always a good one too.

Also providing Paddock Judge Mobiles for the weekend always puts you in the Judges favor. The Weirder the better.

Mistake By The Lake Racing (MBTL)
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Re: How do we (legally) learn about (stalk) the BS judges?

Just a note.  Bribing doesn't really affect anything.  You aren't going to sneak a cheaty car past them and a glorious ioE contender is not going to be bumped into A because you forgot bribes.

Bribes are part of the fun and I've always seen them as a way to show appreciation to the people who are working the race, both from Lemons and the track, since most of the beer and food ends up with the track workers.

Racing 4 Nickels - 1989 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera
2011 SHOWROOM-SCHLOCK SHOOTOUT  IOE Winner
2012 The Chubba Cheddar Enduro Class C winner
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Re: How do we (legally) learn about (stalk) the BS judges?

The only time we have NOT come home with a trophy is when we bribed.

'18 PNW-Organizer's Choice '17 PNW-IOE '15 PNW-Judge's Choice '14 PNW-Heroic Fix
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Re: How do we (legally) learn about (stalk) the BS judges?

Phil likes Cheese...  Lots and lots of Cheese.  He likes it in a can or on a cracker, doesn't matter.

Steve likes stuffed animals.  He really does - Dragons and lizards seem to win him over.

Dead presidents taped on all your cheatie parts is a sure way to win.

This space for rent.

Re: How do we (legally) learn about (stalk) the BS judges?

Eric likes spaghettios especially if you open several cans and dump them in a plastic bag.

Racing 4 Nickels - 1989 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera
2011 SHOWROOM-SCHLOCK SHOOTOUT  IOE Winner
2012 The Chubba Cheddar Enduro Class C winner
Facebook Page

Re: How do we (legally) learn about (stalk) the BS judges?

BoB wrote:

Eric likes spaghettios especially if you open several cans and dump them in a plastic bag.

[Sigh]

Things that are always good bribes, generally in the order I enjoy receiving them:

- A meal during BS Inspection.
- Promise of a meal during the race, but you had better deliver on it and had better deliver it, too. Judges can't always up and leave so bring it to them.
- Regional non-alcoholic drinks that can be consumed during the race. The Sprecher Root Beer from Team Sucker Punch always goes over well, for example.
- Car parts for judges' project vehicles, assuming they can be shipped (at your expense) or taken in a checked bag. It's usually better to find out who's judging a given weekend and contact them ahead of time.
- Diecasts.
- Team shirts
- Cigars.
- Things that are personalized, either for your team/car or for the judges.Try not to be creepy.
- A six-pack of good local beer for consumption during the weekend. You can bring more, but it might get left behind
- A high-end bottle of good bourbon, rum, vodka, etc. It's usually only going to get taken in a checked bag if it's particularly good.
- Things to be used for penalties, although an alarming number of these end up being used on the team that brought them for some reason.
- I like getting something I can take home to my kid on occasion. Again, that's a check-before-the-race kind of thing, though.

Things that are always bad bribes

- Fireball and other "flavored" whiskeys. Please. Just stop.
- Porn. Maybe I'm alone in this, but it's kinda weird.
- Cheap beer, usually. Although sometimes the corner workers adopt a 30-brick of PBR or whatever.

Good Bribing Practices

- Be creative. That usually goes a lot farther and is more memorable than just buying booze.
- Don't ever expect your bribe to get you anywhere. It's mostly to foster goodwill with the judges and a reason to get a cool stencil. It probably won't improve your class/BS Laps.
- PUT YOUR CAR NUMBER AND/OR TEAM ON YOUR BRIBE.
- Not all judges drink so booze is a bit overrated.

Eric Rood
Everything Bagel, 24 Hours of Lemons
eric@24hoursoflemons.com

Re: How do we (legally) learn about (stalk) the BS judges?

therood wrote:

Car parts for judges' project vehicles, assuming they can be shipped (at your expense) or taken in a checked bag.

Hey, if Judge Steve can manage to haul away an entire engine and transmission in one piece from Washington to California, what's everyone else's problem?

therood wrote:

Try not to be creepy.

I prefer the term "attentive," thank you.

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1967 SAAB 96: IOE 2012 Pacific Northworst GP, Organizer's Choice 2022 Hell on Wheels California Rally

Re: How do we (legally) learn about (stalk) the BS judges?

we did well with weather related bribes.  Specifically, a bucket o-water balloons when it was surface of the sun hot out (in Joliet IL).  This also did well to help us raise money when it came to a loooooooooong penalty. 

Watching the judges having an all out water balloon war was fun.  Less fun was catching one of said water balloons in the side of the helmet on the way off the track at the end of day 2.

It's going to be really tough to top that one at gingerman in a few weeks

B Class winning Club 991 Prelude

12 (edited by ninjacoco 2017-09-27 06:11 PM)

Re: How do we (legally) learn about (stalk) the BS judges?

BoB wrote:

Eric likes spaghettios especially if you open several cans and dump them in a plastic bag.

OH MY GOSH. Was that you?! Because if so, you have made....multiple of my days. Many days. All the days. This bribe has been a perpetual source of joy.

FWIW, if there is good beer left over, Der Porschelump will help with this. (If it's meh beer, not so much. German crapcan. Very picky.)

13

Re: How do we (legally) learn about (stalk) the BS judges?

ninjacoco wrote:
BoB wrote:

Eric likes spaghettios especially if you open several cans and dump them in a plastic bag.

OH MY GOSH. Was that you?! Because if so, you have made....multiple of my days. Many days. All the days. This bribe has been a perpetual source of joy.

FWIW, if there is good beer left over, Der Porschelump will help with this. (If it's meh beer, not so much. German crapcan. Very picky.)

Wasn't me, just there at that race.  I think the height of my bribes was the godzilla cookies, not because of how any judge felt about it but Eric's daughter seemed to like them and impressing her is way more important than the judges.  We know who runs the Rood house.  Heck eric is probably 4th behind the cat.

Racing 4 Nickels - 1989 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera
2011 SHOWROOM-SCHLOCK SHOOTOUT  IOE Winner
2012 The Chubba Cheddar Enduro Class C winner
Facebook Page

Re: How do we (legally) learn about (stalk) the BS judges?

BoB wrote:
ninjacoco wrote:
BoB wrote:

Eric likes spaghettios especially if you open several cans and dump them in a plastic bag.

OH MY GOSH. Was that you?! Because if so, you have made....multiple of my days. Many days. All the days. This bribe has been a perpetual source of joy.

FWIW, if there is good beer left over, Der Porschelump will help with this. (If it's meh beer, not so much. German crapcan. Very picky.)

Wasn't me, just there at that race.  I think the height of my bribes was the godzilla cookies, not because of how any judge felt about it but Eric's daughter seemed to like them and impressing her is way more important than the judges.  We know who runs the Rood house.  Heck eric is probably 4th behind the cat.

I am absolutely #4 in the house and I take out my complexes on all you poor foolish racers.

Eric Rood
Everything Bagel, 24 Hours of Lemons
eric@24hoursoflemons.com

Re: How do we (legally) learn about (stalk) the BS judges?

therood wrote:
BoB wrote:
ninjacoco wrote:

OH MY GOSH. Was that you?! Because if so, you have made....multiple of my days. Many days. All the days. This bribe has been a perpetual source of joy.

FWIW, if there is good beer left over, Der Porschelump will help with this. (If it's meh beer, not so much. German crapcan. Very picky.)

Wasn't me, just there at that race.  I think the height of my bribes was the godzilla cookies, not because of how any judge felt about it but Eric's daughter seemed to like them and impressing her is way more important than the judges.  We know who runs the Rood house.  Heck eric is probably 4th behind the cat.

I am absolutely #4 in the house and I take out my complexes on all you poor foolish racers.

Someday when you least expect it...

...idk yet

Re: How do we (legally) learn about (stalk) the BS judges?

ninjacoco wrote:
therood wrote:
BoB wrote:

Wasn't me, just there at that race.  I think the height of my bribes was the godzilla cookies, not because of how any judge felt about it but Eric's daughter seemed to like them and impressing her is way more important than the judges.  We know who runs the Rood house.  Heck eric is probably 4th behind the cat.

I am absolutely #4 in the house and I take out my complexes on all you poor foolish racers.

Someday when you least expect it...

...idk yet

I don't know what this refers to and I'm a little afraid.

Eric Rood
Everything Bagel, 24 Hours of Lemons
eric@24hoursoflemons.com

Re: How do we (legally) learn about (stalk) the BS judges?

therood wrote:
ninjacoco wrote:
therood wrote:

I am absolutely #4 in the house and I take out my complexes on all you poor foolish racers.

Someday when you least expect it...

...idk yet

I don't know what this refers to and I'm a little afraid.

And then you receive a leather satchel full of loose spaghetti 'o's from someone entirely unrelated to this thread...be afraid, be very, very afraid...

Butt Sweat & Beers.