1 (edited by billy bee 2017-10-31 03:07 PM)

Topic: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

The Ephipany

I guess it’s never clear when the miracle will happen. For me it happened during race prep. I was working to, um, improve the air intake on the Kim Jung Elantra after removing a bulky resonator.

I was thinking we needed some race-proven intake ducting. Our fearless leader, Karl (not to be confused with Our Dear Leader) pointed to some plastic drink jugs and bottles on the shelf. “Here you go,” he said. “Lots of usable intake material here.”

My brain melted a little.

Like other Lemons drivers out there, I come from a ‘real’ racing background. I ran SCCA Nationals and the Neon Challenge in the ’90’s…and made money doing it.

The Neon Challenge was good for turning good Club racers into paid drivers. One Champ Car weekend at Road America, the Neon Challenge winner, Erich Heuschele, made more money than the Trans Am winner, Dorsey Schroeder.

Dorsey’s purse for his race win was $12k, or something like that. Dorsey consumed a few post-race cocktails and was overheard scheming his hop from Trans Am to Neon Challenge. Obviously, we were bad ass in our ACR Neons.

So, forgive me if I was not quite able to wrap my mind around this whole Lemons deal. I made money driving a Neon. I was serious about racing.

Back to our intake… When I was done rolling my eyes at Karl, I grabbed a Trader Joe’s Low Calorie Lemonade jug (missing the irony/Lemony-ness of it all) and started grafting it to the air box with duct tape and zip-ties.

As I was finishing up my little intake project, Karl’s girlfriend, Bettina, stopped by. Just for the record, Bettina played a HUGE roll in our first-race “success.” More on that in another post.

Bettina saw the TJ’s Low-Calorie Lemonade ram-air intake for what it was: a perfect, lemony answer to the question nobody’s ever asked: just how do you fabricate a ram-air induction system for a $200 Elantra?

At that very moment, I got it—don’t take myself (and my illustrious Neon racing background) so freakin’ seriously. I slowly began to embrace the culture of Lemons...

https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/21616123_356889068094709_7678487725863856815_n.jpg?oh=23af52ad1eda84e1dd2317366433a405&oe=5A77A9C0
The moment Lemons got, um, real...

To be continued…

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

Some of us (many) are the opposite.  We came from the "keep it running with bailing wire, used parts and bargain motor oil" crowd and found our kindred souls in Lemons.

Cool story.

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

billy bee wrote:

The Ephipany

I guess it’s never clear when the miracle will happen. For me it happened during race prep. I was working to, um, improve the air intake on the Kim Jung Elantra after removing a bulky resonator.

I was thinking we needed some race-proven intake ducting. Our fearless leader, Karl (not to be confused with Our Dear Leader) pointed to some plastic drink jugs and bottles on the shelf. “Here you go,” he said. “Lots of usable intake material here.”

My brain melted a little.

Like other Lemons drivers out there, I come from a ‘real’ racing background. I ran SCCA Nationals and the Neon Challenge in the ’90’s…and made money doing it.

The Neon Challenge was good for turning good Club racers into paid drivers. One Champ Car weekend at Road America, the Neon Challenge winner, Erich Heuschele, made more money than the Trans Am winner, Dorsey Schroeder.

Dorsey’s purse for his race win was $12k, or something like that. Dorsey consumed a few post-race cocktails and was overheard scheming his hop from Trans Am to Neon Challenge. Obviously, we were bad ass in our ACR Neons.

So, forgive me if I was not quite able to wrap my mind around this whole Lemons deal. I made money driving a Neon. I was serious about racing.

Back to our intake… When I was done rolling my eyes at Karl, I grabbed a Trader Joe’s Low Calorie Lemonade jug (missing the irony/Lemony-ness of it all) and started grafting it to the air box with duct tape and zip-ties.

As I was finishing up my little intake project, Karl’s girlfriend, Bettina, stopped by. Just for the record, Bettina played a HUGE roll in our first-race “success.” More on that in another post.

Bettina saw the TJ’s Low-Calorie Lemonade ram-air intake for what it was: a perfect, lemony answer to the question nobody’s ever asked: just how do you fabricate a ram-air induction system for a $200 Elantra?

At that very moment, I got it—don’t take myself (and my illustrious Neon racing background) so freakin’ seriously. I slowly began to embrace the culture of Lemons...

https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/21616123_356889068094709_7678487725863856815_n.jpg?oh=23af52ad1eda84e1dd2317366433a405&oe=5A77A9C0
The moment Lemons got, um, real...

To be continued…

Nice picture.  LOOK bindings are the balls!

"We Got Screwed" NHMS 2017, 4th NHMS 2020,  4th NJMP 2021,
"Judges Choice" NHMS 2021,10th NJMP 2022, 3rd Thompson 2022
#847 Batmobile  aka-"Beulah"  search Squidrope Racing on Facebook

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

Problem solving is as important as driving for a lot of us. Watch the evolution of cars and teams. Takes a couple of races to get a new car sorted. Then the serious tweaking starts. Eventually, the team runs out of challenges on the car and starts a new car.

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

Hyundai? Yes, Hyundai.

Acquisition of the Safety Third Lemons car, a 2004 Hyundai Elantra, was influenced by Bettina’s DD, the interior of which was destroyed by a dog. Karl bought a non-running, $200 Elantra (that had overheated and blown the head gasket) for its interior to spruce up Bettina’s car.

https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/18446945_301566940293589_5436007984343824028_n.jpg?oh=939d86bc028cd67cc2d619143d0bb122&oe=5A63C44D
The Kim Jong Elantra starts to get stripped out...

After Karl swapped the interior into Bettina’s car, I got a call:
Karl: “Hey Bill, I got a Lemons car!”
Bill: “Cool, what did you get?
Karl: “A 2004 Hyundai Elantra!”
Bill: “Why?”

This was before The Epiphany when I was still clinging to the idea that the racing came before ingenuity, creativity, and fun. Karl and I had first considered an ’83 Peugeot 505 TD I picked up for $5. (Yes, $5.) And, yes, I thought the 505 TD would make a good Lemons Car...for good reason.

Peugeot had done well in Showroom Stock racing in the late-1980's. The Peugeots (505 Turbos) were particularly interesting to watch. They had tons of body roll but compliant, independent rear suspension made it possible to get the power down. (Imagine me doing quote fingers in the air when I referring to Peugeot “power.")

https://assets.hemmings.com/uimage/7852197-900-0.jpg?rev=3

Interesting video of Peugeot in the SCCA c.1987: https://youtu.be/2TQpgdgPTog

I seem to recall that guys would increase the boost for more “power.” Maybe it was as simple as tightening a screw behind the wastegate spring. I dunno. But I did hear a story about a guy pulling off during a post-race cool-down lap to back the boost off before heading to the tech shed. Probably just an urban legend. Showroom Stock racers don’t cheat.

I imagined our 505 TD would handle well enough and get good enough fuel economy to make it competitive in Class C. I imagined calling it the S-Car and adopting an S-Car Go team moniker with snail graphics.

In the end it was going to take too much money to get it running as it needed a new diesel injection pump. We wanted to stay true to the rules. Lemons racers don’t cheat, either. So, I sold the 505 for $100.

https://photos.smugmug.com/Cars/Peugeot-505/i-ScxWqMX/0/3cf489c3/L/2013-04-08%2019.23.54-L.jpg
A bientôt, Peugeot...

We briefly considered a high-milage Neon ACR with a blown head gasket and trashed interior. Obviously, I had tons of experience in Neons. Over the course of 7 years, I owned three Neon ACRs and won races in each one of them.

http://nebula.wsimg.com/913e4ad0caa1e9736c89f449ff29a9de?AccessKeyId=502A299DFD26EC4FF959&disposition=0&alloworigin=1
A pic of one of my cars, #19.

A mentor of mine gave me some great advice early in my racing career: “Follow the money,” he said. In other words, go where the manufacturers are backing drivers, usually in the form of  SCCA Club Racing contingency money. Finish on the podium and get a check.

I was prepared to follow that advice into Lemons, unsure of FCA’s ongoing commitment to Neon Racing. Does anybody know what the contingency payouts are for Lemons?

Anyway, we ended up with a great car. After swapping engines, the Kim Jung Elantra was quick and ran great. More on that in another post...

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

moparfan wrote:

Problem solving is as important as driving for a lot of us. Watch the evolution of cars and teams. Takes a couple of races to get a new car sorted. Then the serious tweaking starts. Eventually, the team runs out of challenges on the car and starts a new car.

Definitely got the bug. I find myself trolling CL for Lemons cars. I can see how that process begins...

bb

7 (edited by VKZ24 2017-11-01 05:30 AM)

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

billy bee wrote:

A mentor of mine gave me some great advice early in my racing career: “Follow the money,” he said. In other words, go where the manufacturers are backing drivers, usually in the form of  SCCA Club Racing contingency money. Finish on the podium and get a check.

I was prepared to follow that advice into Lemons, unsure of FCA’s ongoing commitment to Neon Racing. Does anybody know what the contingency payouts are for Lemons?

It's hard to tell via the internet sometimes, but I hope you are being sarcastic.   There is zero chance you will make a dime in Lemons.  I've been on a winning team twice (after 10 seasons) and we spent more just to enter the race than the pay out.

Captain
Team Super Westerfield Bros.
'93 Acura Integra - No VTEC Yo!

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

billy bee wrote:

...go where the manufacturers are backing drivers...

I've never seen a single cent from those ingrates at British Leyland, SAAB, Zastava, or Rootes Group.

1982 MG Metro 1300: IOE 2015 Pacific Northworst GP, Longest Distance 2010 Cd'L Box Wine Country Classic
1980 KV Mini 1: Worst of Show and Fright Pig Supremo 2009 Concours d'Lemons
1978 H Special: Second-Round Elimination 2010 Lemons Pinewood Derby at Sears Pointless
1967 SAAB 96: IOE 2012 Pacific Northworst GP, Organizer's Choice 2022 Hell on Wheels California Rally

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

I have submitted my contingency claim form to Jet Industries and am eagerly awaiting my check:

http://www.carolinahondas.com/members/roger-albums-pj-picture6705-jet-industries.jpg

Everybody grab your brooms, it's shenanigans!

10 (edited by fleming95 2017-11-01 11:34 AM)

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

Thanks for the writeup - you had me at this improbability:

...I ran SCCA Nationals and the Neon Challenge in the ’90’s…and made money doing it....

- and I'd say that you were a Lemons racer all the time! - Neons do much better in enduro racing than one would think, judging by the hearsay - and just look at the theme of your 'Neon Neon':

http://nebula.wsimg.com/913e4ad0caa1e9736c89f449ff29a9de?AccessKeyId=502A299DFD26EC4FF959&disposition=0&alloworigin=1

11 (edited by billy bee 2017-11-01 01:29 PM)

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

In hindsight…

We ran into clearance issues early in the build. The issue was with Karl’s head, which was too big to fit in the car. (Technically, the issue was with Karl’s height, but let’s not let facts get in the way of a good story.)

With the seat installed, Karl’s helmeted head poked up too high to get the cage within the car while allowing for the two inches needed to pass tech. My thought was to lower the seat. Karl’s solution was to build the cage taller.

In hindsight, I realize we overlooked a third option: to modify Karl.

It’s probably helpful to mention here that Karl owns the car, funded the build, and assembled the team. It just seems fair that he should fit in the car without major modifications to him. On the other hand, he named the team Safety Third for a reason, I'm sure…

Anyway, to accommodate the main hoop, our our team of crack fabricators took a can opener to the roof panel to allow for Karl’s head.

https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/21192121_347961088987507_8645403968966207444_n.jpg?oh=376e65549794cc5f9b0d066f03d7d470&oe=5A6444E1

As you can see it did not take long for our roofless Lemons car to become a playground for children. While I’m not sure why Karl took the car to a pre-school playground, I am told the kids are up to date on their tetanus shots.

With the roof removed, it was now possible to build the cage tall enough to fit Karl in the car.
However, we ran into other clearance problems. As we started to dry fit the cage, we quickly realized that we were going to have difficulty welding the halo to the front down bars with the A-pillar in the way.

We now know there are ways around this. At the time, however, there seemed but one viable solution. I asked the fateful question: “At what point do we just cut the roof off?”

The answer came quickly and out came the reciprocating saw.

In hindsight, I think we could have made better marks for cut lines. At the time, however, we did not want accuracy to get in the way of progress. We had an eager team mate ready to start cutting, and our hatchet man made his way from pillar to pillar.

Reflecting on our early work on the car, I was impressed with the build quality of our Korean Iron. Absent the roof, however, our car turned into a Flexible Flyer. The car sagged noticeably at the B-billar. Jack it up at the rocker and the door gaps expanded like silly putty.

I reasoned that the cage would fix all of that. I would eventually see that the cage only fixed some of that. The guys in tech agreed. They encouraged us to weld that rear doors shut.

In hindsight, while I still regret overlooking the modify-Karl option, I was getting really excited about the car. With the cage and windshield in, the Kim Jong Elantra conjures images of the Popemobile.

http://www.roadkill.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Lemons_BW2017_Recap106.jpg
http://a.abcnews.com/images/International/GTY_popemobile_1_kab_150611_4x3_992.jpg
See the resemblance?

http://a.abcnews.com/images/International/GTY_popemobile_4_kab_150611_12x5_992.jpg
For added irony, please see this story--Pope Francis Debuts New Hyundai Version of the Popemobile: http://abcnews.go.com/International/pop … d=31698491

The BS Committee correctly identified the Kim Jong Elantra as resembling an esteemed Korean Presidential Limousine.

The next installment: Epiphany, Part Deux--These guys are really racing...

12 (edited by billy bee 2017-11-01 01:08 PM)

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

fleming95 wrote:

I'd say that you were a Lemons racer all the time! ...just look at the theme of your 'Neon Neon'

http://nebula.wsimg.com/913e4ad0caa1e9736c89f449ff29a9de?AccessKeyId=502A299DFD26EC4FF959&disposition=0&alloworigin=1

Touche! Well played.

Oh, I should mention that, while our cars were easy to spot and my white car(#29) was featured in Grassroots Motorsports for its catchy graphics, the thing I remember most about the theme was what a good friend of mine said about it: "Looks like a clown barfed on your car, man."

bb

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

VKZ24 wrote:

It's hard to tell via the internet sometimes, but I hope you are being sarcastic.

I'd go with satirical over sarcastic. Think Jonathan Swift.

Candidly, I raced competitively for years and never had fun doing it. I definitely enjoyed it, but it was not fun. I enjoyed the competition and the focus required to get the most out of a car. I enjoyed the camaraderie. I also worked in the automotive and motorsports industry. I enjoyed the cars and people there, too.

But...Lemons has put the joy back into being a car guy and racer. It's like playing with Hot Wheels again... Hence, the title of this thread.

Thanks, Lemons!

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

mharrell wrote:

I've never seen a single cent from those ingrates at British Leyland, SAAB, Zastava, or Rootes Group.

I'm sorry to hear that. The defunct manufacturers can be slow to pay...

bb

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

billy bee wrote:

Candidly, I raced competitively for years and never had fun doing it. I definitely enjoyed it, but it was not fun. I enjoyed the competition and the focus required to get the most out of a car. I enjoyed the camaraderie. I also worked in the automotive and motorsports industry. I enjoyed the cars and people there, too.

But...Lemons has put the joy back into being a car guy and racer. It's like playing with Hot Wheels again... Hence, the title of this thread.

Thanks, Lemons!

My late friend, Bob Peckham, was a die-hard SCCA racer.   His attitude was that it was only fun if he was winning.   Lemons is the other way around: if you are having fun, you are winning!

"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!"
IOE winner in the Super Snipe -- Buttonwillow 2012
IOE winner in Super Snipe v2.0 -- Buttonwillow 2016
"Every Super Snipe in Lemons has won an IOE!"

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

billy bee wrote:

The defunct manufacturers can be slow to pay...

Well, I asked about racing an International Harvester Travelall but was denied a waiver on the weight limit. IH might have been a bit more on the ball, as they're only partially defunct.

1982 MG Metro 1300: IOE 2015 Pacific Northworst GP, Longest Distance 2010 Cd'L Box Wine Country Classic
1980 KV Mini 1: Worst of Show and Fright Pig Supremo 2009 Concours d'Lemons
1978 H Special: Second-Round Elimination 2010 Lemons Pinewood Derby at Sears Pointless
1967 SAAB 96: IOE 2012 Pacific Northworst GP, Organizer's Choice 2022 Hell on Wheels California Rally

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

mharrell wrote:
billy bee wrote:

The defunct manufacturers can be slow to pay...

Well, I asked about racing an International Harvester Travelall but was denied a waiver on the weight limit. IH might have been a bit more on the ball, as they're only partially defunct.

Try Isuzu or Suzuki...still in business, just not the business of Cars for the US market.

Try Dawoe...wait, that is a Chevy sonic, right?

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

It's a Daewoo Matiz with an ugly front end.

Everybody grab your brooms, it's shenanigans!

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

as far as I can tell, the only mistake you've made is not putting that modern Hyundai motor in a chassis from Hyundai's earlier days!

Jokes aside, as I was tearing apart our Elantra motor donor, I kept thinking to myself "this would make a great platform for a fresh build"

"THE WONDERMENT CONSORTIUM"
Everything dies baby that's a fact,
But maybe everything that dies someday comes back?

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

billy bee wrote:

I imagined our 505 TD would handle well enough and get good enough fuel economy to make it competitive in Class C. I imagined calling it the S-Car and adopting an S-Car Go team moniker with snail graphics.

In the end it was going to take too much money to get it running as it needed a new diesel injection pump. We wanted to stay true to the rules. Lemons racers don’t cheat, either. So, I sold the 505 for $100.

Part of me is sad that you chose to move the Pug on to a new owner.

The part of me that remembers how godawfully bad a relative's Peugeot wagon was is not surprised.  If working on French cars from that timeframe is anything like working on French bicycles from then, I can understand why you would run screaming.

billy bee wrote:

We briefly considered a high-milage Neon ACR with a blown head gasket and trashed interior. Obviously, I had tons of experience in Neons. Over the course of 7 years, I owned three Neon ACRs and won races in each one of them.

the 1997 - 1999 ACR Neons were some of the best bang for the buck cars ever made - a 150+ HP DOHC engine, updated ratio 5 speed manual transmission, Koni coil-over gas adjustable shocks, alloy wheels + performance tires, increased diameter front and rear sway bars, 4 wheel disk brakes - all for less than 15K. With a factory warranty.

I know you know all of this, but I wanted to acknowledge how even Chrysler occasionally got something really, really right.

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

The Epiphany, Part Deux: These guys are really racing…

I had not raced wheel-to-wheel since 2001. Karl had two Lemons Races under his belt. Still, as I had lots of racing experience, I imagined I would start the race and get our car out to a comfortable early lead. ‘Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall;’ so sayeth the Proverb.

It turned out that our ‘race strategy’ would be dictated by the sharing of driving suits. To keep driver changes to a reasonable 8 or 10 minutes, we decided against driver suit changes, thus avoiding changing into a sweat-soaked suit. Even if the sweat belongs to a good buddy, I prefer my race suits dry.

So, far from my imagined initial jaunt into Class C preeminence, I drove third, sharing my 20-year-old suit with our lead-off driver and leaving enough time for the suit to dry in the sun between sauna sessions. How's that for a sound race strategy?

We all watched my suit mate put in 10 laps…before the car overheated. And here I was worried about putting on a sweat-soaked suit. We cooled the car down for about 20 minutes, swapped radiator caps, and refilled the cooling system. That seemed to solve the overheating problem.

However, a mild knocking sound had also developed. So, our efforts focused on keeping the car going as long as possible. Short shifts. No full-throttle application. And, we shortened the driver’s stints to both check on the car and get everybody behind the wheel.

I patiently watched our second driver rounding the track, with drivers one and two both reporting something like, “It’s a little crazy out there.”

Things looked pretty tame from my perch along the pit wall. Those guys just don’t have racing experience like I do…

http://www.roadkill.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Lemons_BW2017_Recap015.jpg
Does that look crazy to you?

My hubris met with utter humility when I got in the car. In my defense, there was a lot to sort out: How bad was the engine? Is the temperature steady? How do I turn my head with the Necksgen thingy on? Does my ass look fat in my this Hyundai? Anybody coming up behind… Holy Crap, where did that guy come from?

Like any race, some cars are faster and some better driven, and some just out there trying to get laps in. We fell into that last category. We were fighting for survival…of the car and our arses. I got good at giving point-by’s.

Good news was that we were turning 2:30s with the engine knocking and our tip-toeing around the temp gauge like the drunk uncle you never wanted upset. (There’s an awkward peek into my childhood.)

Overall, after my first stint in a Lemons race, I was really impressed by the quality of the driving. Well, most of the driving.

But that would be my one stint for the day. After we cycled all four drivers through the car, the Kim Jong Elantra gasped its rattling last breath at 12:32PM on Saturday.

Next installment: Good money after bad. But what do I care; it’s not my money…

22 (edited by billy bee 2017-11-04 03:36 PM)

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

RandolphCarter wrote:

...even Chrysler occasionally got something really, really right.

They got the Federal Government to bail them out...twice. Crazy like a fox, that Chrysler.

OTOH, we have the '79 Bailout to thank for these automotive gems:

https://o.aolcdn.com/images/dims3/GLOB/legacy_thumbnail/800x450/format/jpg/quality/85/http://www.blogcdn.com/www.autoblog.com/media/2008/05/dutch-450.jpg

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/97/ec/38/97ec38b9858f5282f35b95f5278ec8ed.jpg

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/fd/85-89_Dodge_Aries_sedan.jpg/1200px-85-89_Dodge_Aries_sedan.jpg

In fairness to what was DaimlerChrysler (at the time), the Neon was a great little car. I would never have had some of the opportunities I did were it not for the Neon Racing Program. Although, the term 'Neon Racing' still strikes me as oxymoronic.

bb

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

Cars, culture, and grammar...

What is plural for Hyundai? I think it is probably still Hyundai. One Hyundai, two Hyundai, three Hyundai…

I guess it could be Hyundais, which rhymes with Sundays. As in, “Not in a month of Sundays would we leave Buttonwillow with three Hyundais.” (We arrived with two—the Kim Jong Elantra and Bettina’s DD/parts car.)

If plural is Hyundais, plural possessive would be Hyundais’ as in, “We should never have doubted our Hyundais’ ability to get us to the finish line.” But, it took multiple Hyundais to get us there.

We only pinched the radiator cap from Bettina’s car but started eyeing her car up when our engine seized. She could tell what we were thinking and responded quickly: “You can use my engine, but I need to be able to drive it home tomorrow.”

We thought about that for a second and passed, knowing our worst case scenario would be blowing Bettina’s engine, too. As in, ‘two undriveable Hyundai on Sunday.’

So, we started searching Craigslist for a donor car/engine. There were several crappy Hyundai(s) that met our criteria: running, nearby, cheap, correct engine.

We settled on one that met most of our criteria. It was a 2006 Tiburon, certainly the pinnacle of Hyundai’s (singular possessive) engineering and design efforts for a generation of young Korean car enthusiasts. (That sentence if full of oxymorons.)

Running, driving car. Fifteen minutes away. Correct engine. $1,500. So much for cheap.

We made contact with the seller (with the help of our team mate/interpreter/negotiator, Pancho), and Karl and Pancho set out to check out the car. Meanwhile we started disassembling the Kim Jong Elantra in the event that they brought home a running Tiburon.

Evidently, Pancho was negotiating hard in Spanish, making it impossible for Karl to know just what was going on. Turns out the seller was pretty firm on price until his significant other got involved. She came out of the house to insist that the car go away today. Thanks to her, it did. Karl and Pancho scored the car for $1,200.

https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/22141259_360692957714320_8532292717967972781_n.jpg?oh=8a5def58918e1951366b6162b9b6c1ba&oe=5A6C6046

By 6pm we were set to do the swap. By 12:30am Sunday, the Kim Jong Elantra was running and driving, and the spent engine had been dropped into the Tiburon. After clean-up, we were all in bed by 2. Not a bad evening’s work.

https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/22089519_360692974380985_5264557080340275662_n.jpg?oh=d94c4592784d32b9e2c3f49314ed5510&oe=5A674248

https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/22141155_360692987714317_3743238801650272022_n.jpg?oh=1327f874126c749c93ee03b78161cab6&oe=5AA0EC57

Karl started the race for us on Sunday, taking great care to check things out. After a couple of pit stops, we rejoined the race in earnest.
_______________

This is not meant to be a footnote to this story. In fact, it should be the lead to the story. We had tons of support from other teams: we got lights, awnings, tools, food, and moral support from people all over the paddock. The interest in our project was really overwhelming. There was a constant presence of onlookers and people offering help.

https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/22049934_360693011047648_7723504141252587867_n.jpg?oh=87a616fc6b5edd29f0946103658a437e&oe=5A9EC78A

I have always enjoyed the racing culture, which I have always seen as a culture of competition. I would help a competitor improve his car because I wanted good racing.

Lemons Culture is richer. Sure, competition is a part of it, but it is more than that. If you’ve raced in Lemons, you know. But it is a culture of ingenuity, creativity, competition, camaraderie, safety, and fun. It is the best of what car culture has to offer.

bb

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

billy bee wrote:

Cars, culture, and grammar...






I have always enjoyed the racing culture, which I have always seen as a culture of competition. I would help a competitor improve his car because I wanted good racing.

Lemons Culture is richer. Sure, competition is a part of it, but it is more than that. If you’ve raced in Lemons, you know. But it is a culture of ingenuity, creativity, competition, camaraderie, safety, and fun. It is the best of what car culture has to offer.

bb

Lemons in a nutshell, right there...

Silent But Deadly Racing-  Ricky Bobby's Laughing Clown Malt Liquor Thunderbird , Datsun 510, 87 Mustang (The Race Team Formerly Known as Prince), 72 Pinto Squire waggy, Parnelli Jones 67 Galaxie, Turbo Coupe Surf wagon.(The Surfin Bird), Squatting Dogs In Tracksuits,  Space Pants!  Roy Fuckin Kent and The tribute to a tribute to a tribute THUNDERBIRD/ SUNDAHBADOH!

Re: Coming of Age in my Second Childhood: A Lemons Rookie’s First Race...

It's good to read a success story like that. Erich has run a few Lemons races over the years; the most recent of which was at Sonoma in 2010, in my team's neon. Ultimately deciding that 150 cars on track was too many, we jumped to a different organization that doesn't so thoroughly stuff the track. My neon is positvely clapped out in comparison to the pristine stuff that he used to run in the Neon Challenge days.

Team Co-Craptain, Los Cerdos Voladores
Plymouth Neon
Yeah, we're horrible...but we're LEAST Horrible