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Here's my lengthy write up for the Turtle Eclipse of the Heart (#531). it may be a bit redundant since it's intended audience is non-racers...

some backstory
The turtle eclipse of the heart last raced back in 2017 at NJMPs Thunderbolt circuit. When I found out we would miss the 2018 event, I became a 'free agent' and raced with the Schumacher Taxi: My Little Ponycar Mustang team for 2018 (thanks RobL!) and then found myself with a Chumpcar Prelude team (and got introduced to something called "winning"). It's interesting to race with new teams because everyone has their own way of doing things so you try to pick up on what works and apply it to your own team. Unfortunately, due to time constraints, we never got around to installing cool suit set-ups, or live video feeds, or live telemetry - we barely had working radios (and for 2 stints we didn't even have that). But we did have some hella sweet t-shirts! (available on Amazon!)  https://www.amazon.com/s?rh=n%3A7141123 … pse+Shirts

The bribe
We wanted the judges to be merciful to us this weekend, so we decided to put a little bit of effort into our bribe. We stopped by the local liquor store and picked up some random beers - mostly green canned ones to fit our theme, and slipped in a few Naturdays and a 32 of High Life along with some quality Bourbon. (we were trying to get the judges items that began with "B" - beer, bourbon... and boobs) So with the first two handled, we needed some boobs. We stopped by 3 convenience stores but not a single nudie mag could be found. Google Assistant revealed an Adult book and movie store just a mile away, so with that info we head off to "Red Barn Books". A few minutes later we arrived and the parking lot was packed - full of Lemons racers no doubt! They had vintage playboys on one shelf, several racks of DVDs and toys - and behind the curtain were the viewing booths and the main theatre - we could hear the moans. We decided on two vintage playboys from 1993 - the year the car was made - one was the Girls of the Pac 10 with Jenny McCarthy. The offering was complete.

Back at the track, we placed the alcohol in a cooler IN the turtle sandbox on the roof, and closed the “shell” on top. We entered the “BS Inspection” line with Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” cued up on repeat on the Bluetooth Speakers. The Playboys were on the windshield held tight by the wipers with our passed Tech Sheet on top. As the judges got a look at the car, before we had a chance to make our offering - the first judge pulled his pen out and was just about to write an “A” on our tech sheet. Not so fast! I turned on the wipers – pulling the tech sheet away from his pen, and revealing the Playboys below! Then we popped open the turtle and gave them the booze. We were placed in class B and received a new “bribed” stencil on our hood. Mission accomplished.

Race Day 1
Saturday morning, we got the car lined up first on the grid (yes!) and drove our pit vehicle to the closest spot to pit road.

At 9:30 the cars roll off to the track. 130 cars circle around under yellow until timing and scoring makes sure all the transponders are working properly. When the green flag was thrown at random we found ourselves back in 67th. By lap 10, we’re up to 36th and by our first pit stop on Lap 50, we’re up to 14th. We get driver 2 in the car after a 4 minute pit stop and he heads back out in 27th, 10 minutes behind the lead car. By lap 85, we’re back in 10th, and 5 min behind the leader. About 80 minutes into his stint, driver 2 sees the coolant temps go up and pulls in to take a look. Everything checked out and we send him back out. We were now in 40th place, 15 minutes behind the leader. 8 laps later, and he’s back in for our driver change. Driver 3 gets in and heads out in 39th, 25 minutes back. He manages to get us back up to 19th before handing off the car to me to finish the day off. He came in about 15 minutes earlier than expected and said he was low on fuel, so it looks like we might not make it to the end without having to pit again. I head out in 23rd and keep my eye on the gauges. After 10 or so laps, the fuel gauge hasn’t moved and I’m thinking we just might make it… but then it starts dropping faster and faster as I tick off the laps. With 20 min to go, we’re up to 17th and I have to come in to pit. The timing and scoring app took a shit, so had no idea where we were or how far back we were at this point, but it turned out we didn’t lose any places during our refueling. We finish Day 1 in 17th place overall and 3rd in class.

That evening we changed the front pads, bed them and then refuel. We discover that refueling at night, we can get quite a bit more fuel in the car than what we were getting in the hot pits. So it seems that our vents not venting enough to allow us to get those last few gallons in unless we pour them EXTREMELY slow. Nothing we can do at this point, so we filled it up to the brim and decide to let Driver 1 on day 2 go til empty.

Race Day 2
For the start of Day 2, Lemons lines up the top 10 cars in order and lets them go out first. The 2 cars ahead of us in B class are in the top 10 and get to be in the fancy line. Again, we’re able to get first spot to lead out the rest of the cars to start day 2. Driver 1 gets a lap or 2 back on the B class cars ahead, but we’re still pretty far behind. At this point most of the cars have laps between them rather than seconds, so it takes a while to move up – or down – so you cross your fingers for a black flag or long pit stop… but unfortunately luck was not on our side. With 2 hours to go on Day 2, we were running in 8th with our last pit stop of the day. Our driver pulls in with a flat right rear. No tire changing in the pits so we have to go back to the camp for fresh rubber after refueling. With just about 90 minutes to go, we sent the last driver out in 10th and he managed to pick up one more spot before the end for our best result yet of 9th overall (previous best was 14th) and tied our best class finish of 3rd.

The timeless battle between the tortoise and the hare continues, and just as in the fable, so too on the track, the turtle is victorious

Knock/no boost
Our knock sensor was coming on under partial throttle in 4th gear - usually on the exit of  The Lightbulb - so more often the not, the warning light would come on and we'd have to lift and stab the gas to clear the light - which meant we'd enter the fastest part of the track with... no boooooost.  really sucked when we'd be hanging with the fastest cars for a lap or 3 and then have them leave us on the straight while we're pedaling the throttle.