• From: Charlotte, NC
  • Registered: 2009-05-01
  • Posts: 113

Topic: If you're gonna throw down the bribe....

I'm curious.  Let's say you have decided to offer up a bribe to the powers that be.  Maybe you're offering said bribe out of the kindness of your heart or more than likely because you have cheated so bad you can't even begin to hide it.  What does one offer?  Booze?  Cash?  Clothing?  A 1000 virgins?  Personally our team went with the T-shirt option at South Spring '09.  What do y'all think?

Mike
Lab Rats Motorsports
1988 Mitsubishi/Dodge/Fiat Colt Carpocalypse Edition
  • From: Land Of Subarus, Colorado
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 9,416

Re: If you're gonna throw down the bribe....

Team T-shirts are always welcome bribes, since the well-dressed judge prefers to wear Lemons team shirts when off duty (or on). Cash is good. Booze is good (much of it gets passed on to track employees, and you definitely want them on your side).

We'd like to get more food bribes, since a man works up quite an appetite while he's examining cheating car after cheating car, looking at printouts of fake Craigslist ads, listening to bullshit stories, etc. The Formula M For Mullet Mustang guys in Texas rolled up to the inspection area equipped with a grille with bacon-wrapped filet mignons (with a nice shrimp cocktail on the side), complete with silverware, cloth napkins, etc... and they went on to win the race. Coincidence? Draw your own conclusions!

Murilee Martin aka Judge Phil on Facebook
Murilee Martin on Twitter
Judge Phil's Lemons posts on Car and Driver
MurileeMartin.com

Judge Phil's Website

  • From: Los Fucking Angeles
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 1,032

Re: If you're gonna throw down the bribe....

I can give you what I believe to be the definitive answer:

1) Cash
2) Booze
3) Beer
4) T-Shirts
5) Food
6) All other crap including porn, your lady friends in Bikinis (remember -- we're from California and hella gay), silly string, really big hats, etc.
7) Wine

And not to disagree too strongly with my fellow Lemons Supreme Court Judge, but what we're really looking for is more cash.

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"
  • Registered: 2009-05-06
  • Posts: 7

Re: If you're gonna throw down the bribe....

1) Cash
2) Booze
3) Beer
4) T-Shirts
5) Food
6) All other crap including porn, your lady friends in Bikinis (remember -- we're from California and hella gay), silly string, really big hats, etc.
7) Wine
8) Full size print of David Hasselhoff in bikini underwear.

I know you guys enjoyed that one!

JeffroJ

#44 Turbo Schnitzel
Fahrt Schnell!