Saturday Good…Sunday CYBERFUKD

Saturday Good…Sunday CYBERFUKD

LITTLE BACKGROUND. 

We are 3-30 (B, C, &D) somethings who started racing the truck in 2020.  We have finished every race we have entered with C-Class finishes of 5th, 2nd, 2nd, 2nd, and 8th.

The weekend before the race and the truck sat in the garage, untouched since May 2022.  We come to find the Optima had died.  Autozone confirmed it was bad as the charger at home wouldn’t even recognize it was a battery.  Making our best attempt at a garage fire we hooked up a good battery to the Optima, used some 8 guage wire and clamps to see if we could charge it.  Next morning, it’s got 7 volts and the trickle is back in business.  We repacked some bearings, slapped new front pads, tightened the turnbuckle holding the alternator on, and installed a starter.  She fired up immediately and sounded fantastic.

We were a bit surprised to say the least.  As a reminder, last time we raced was at Thunderhill, our heal-toe was too much for our belt.  It came in looking like a fountain.  We were in contention up until that point.  https://youtube.com/watch?v=gMVtYGJliEo … amp;t=2035 

Seeing as it was Thunderhill, the 2+ mile trundle back to the pits ended with no water in the radiator.  We repeated this song-and-dance 3 more times.  It turns out new belts like to stretch.  The 4th and final belt of the day held through the rest of the day. 

We decided to chance it.  Topped it off with a little more tap water (yes I see you cringing at this), a little more oil, and off to the races we went.  Unsure if our 33-year-old 2.9L V6 would make it through the weekend, we put the spare on the trailer.  All we had to do was adjust the timing when the other teammate showed up at the track. 

We head up Thursday, setup camp, grab some burritos from town and get to bed too late, as is tradition.  The truck wanted to feel more like a racecar, so we decided to make an air dam Saturday morning from the kit we bought back in 2021.   Turned out great.  Test for a couple hours, all systems go!

LETS GO RACING

B Starts out in the Truck on Saturday.  Probably the best opening session Lemons has had in recent memory.  Very few mechanicals, very few idiots, strange for the start of a race.  About 30 minutes in, the engine was bogging down.  Aw yes, a gentle reminder of that timing we didn’t remember to take care of.  Feeling ~20 seconds down per lap, the driver/car owner did some math.  A little “high” speed long division, he realized that even if he were just losing 10 seconds per lap, that’s 1 less lap every 27 times around the track.  Expecting there to be around 80 laps left, it made it a slam dunk decision to come in.  There was some debate over the radio if it was fuel related, but given the problem showed up last time we advanced the timing at Thunderhill, it seemed like more than a coincidence.  We lost less than 10 minutes coming in and the truck was back to running beautifully. 

DISFUNCTION

You might wonder how we could have forgotten to adjust the timing.  A little excuse, explanation, what have you.  We’ve been mentoring a gentleman for the past year.  We met him through the Lemons forums and he has crewed for us 3 times.  With 50+ years of wrenching experience, he has touched a Ranger or 2 and been an invaluable resource for the team.  He bought a car in 2022 and we raced it at Sonoma.  It is silly quick but handles like a dog.  Pretty easy to scare the **** out of you and will compete for an OA Fast Lap one day.  1 team manager for 2 vehicles was too much.  Things were missed on both cars.  We’ll reorganize in the future, but can’t wait for the team to continue growing. 

We also invited 2 strangers we met on the forums to crew for us.  They were a huge help to our small team and we look forward to racing them and their VW bug later this year.  A couple other friends showed up and this little team of 3 which started in 2020 has grown to 9 strong, with more coming soon.

BACK TO SATURDAY

We finished the day 2nd, 12 laps back of our rivals, a fellow Ranger team, the JUNK RUNNERS.  We have already finished class runner-up to them twice, we were determined to not make it a third time.  We were a bit confused when hitting the sack as the app said we were 12 laps down.  Wondering how they put an hour on us left us a bit salty.  The app corrected itself in the morning.  We were 2 laps down, with the Yota and A**L Probe right on our ass.  Which, as you can imagine, was a concern.  Given our zero black flag day, we were confident we had a quality day ahead of us as we stayed out of the Judges’ cross-hairs. 

The Optima came off the track pissing and hissing at us.  The second battery the CYBERFUKD has ironically killed.  The battery was still under warranty, but we couldn’t prove it.  $319 later we were rolling.

SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY

C is in the truck to start the day.  B is on the radio.  You Mad Bro is exiting around turn 2, the yellow flag is in, the green flag is in hand, and B tells Chris to “Go, Green Flag!”  BUT, then the Yellow came back out.  “WHOA STOP STOP STOP!” B yells over the radio. The Green flag waives a few seconds later and C let B know he passed cars in those 10 seconds.  B shuffles over to the judges to tell him he’s an idiot, the truck shows up a few minutes later, we’re admonished and away we go.  Losing a lap in the process, it was dumb, to say the least.  Foreshadowing, to say the most.

Determined to make-up for the stupidity, C is moving through the field, showing off his ~30 years of track experience.  While there was no specific incident triggering it, the track workers felt his moves were too much for the amateur field.  We had another meeting with Tim.  They made it very clear we were on the track’s watch list.  He headed back out and “Putz’d” around until it was time for more fuel.  We made a donation to Lemons of Love/Ranger Road, hoping the racing gods would smile down upon us.

Perfect 3 minute pit stop  (Kill switch to kill switch) and B is back in the car.  Having a perfect weekend, pointing cars by, he was having a blast.  The only trouble being the headwind.  The 33-year-old engine and aero profile of the car made it impossible to get into gear 5th gear into the wind.  We turn around and get ready to start the 3rd Track.

THUNDERHILL 3T1R FORMAT

Likely a sign of his increasing mental decline, Chief Perpetrator Jay Lamm came up with running 3 formats on the same track.  Unsurprisingly, Jay was conspicuously absent from the event and coordination of executing such format.  However, given the circumstances we couldn’t be happier.  You see, normally Lemons runs a race at Sonoma, its home track, every March and December.  Well, the new Sonoma management isn’t big on loyalty and told we’ll be taking $$$ from another instead of letting your hunks of junk out here.  The Lemons Organizers scrambled and were able to secure a February Thunderhill race. 

Thunderhill is two side-by-side 3-mile tracks, which can be combined to a single 5-mile track to create the longest racetrack in the US. Lemons normally runs the 5-mile layout and even set the Guinness world record in 2015 with 242 cars on the track.  We really hope they don’t try and break that record.  Unfortunately, one of the tracks was already rented Sunday.  So what did Jay decide to do?  Run the 5-mile Saturday and the 3-mile classic Sunday.  In some Carbon Monoxide fueled mania, Jay decided to take it a step further and run the 3-mile one direction for half the day and the other direction the remainder of the day. 

If you’re not familiar with racing, tracks are “designed" to run a partivular direction.  With walls and barriers and runoff room and everything else you need to put a 33-year old long bed through its paces.  Things aren’t quite what they seem when going backwards.  Knowing this, Jay also decided to run the entire 5-mile backwards.  I don’t know what Nick and Eric did to deserve this exercise of organization, frustration, and coordination.  Everyone loves when Pit-On and Pit-Off changes 5 times over the course of a weekend.  Nobody would ever screw that up.

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY

Like a Quinton Tarantino film, this story is back to Sunday.  It’s 1 pm and B is finally headed in the correct direction. Despite the insane headwind, the truck is still doing ok.  Figuring out where to find some relief from the wind between 13 and 14, the truck was moving well.  At around 1:30 B is coming around turn 9 at full beans, around 90 MPH on this day.  About 50-yards ahead is a red 701 Miata (we think).   About 2 car-widths off the right side of the track the Miata was doing around 80 MPH up the hill.  B planned to follow the car through 10 and pass him before 11.  When coming up to the Miata, it made 1 or 2 strong jerks to the right.  B was surprised by this as he had never seen this in any of his previous 8 races.  B backed off.

What the Miata may not have realized is if B did not back off, the Miata would have pitted itself into the dirt at 80.  The truck may have wrecked too, but certainly would have come out in better shape.   The driver didn’t seem to understand that B gave him the inside line to 10, the preferred line.

B was able to back off and time the run through 10, still on the inside.  The Miata again intentionally swings wide trying to push B off the track.  B goes around the inside of the Miata and drag races down the hill to 10.  The Miata’s antics cost him and the heavier, lower horsepower truck was side-by-side all the way to the bottom of the hill.  Door-to-door, the Miata turns left with the truck on its inside.  Given that the truck is feet taller than the Miata, it’s hard to believe he didn’t see B.  The low-speed collision caused the Miata to spin in front of B and stop nose-to-nose.  Throwing his hands up, the Miata driver couldn’t believe the lesson he had just received in physics and vehicle weights. 

B goes in to talk to the judges. Judge Chris comes up and speaks with B.  Chris knows B, as this was B’s 8th event and Chris is a Lemons legend.  Chris verified B’s story via the Miata’s front tire marks on the rear of the air dam.  The tires went wheel-to-wheel but the fenders prevented anybody from climbing on top of each other.  Chris came back and told B he had to get out of the car.  Disappointed in the judges’ decision, B and Chris calmly spoke.  B agreeing to go back to the pits and put in the next driver 80 minutes early.  The judges relayed he was a rookie, “a Kid.”  This last F-up made our chance at a podium vanish.  We can’t blame the judges and respected their decision, especially after the morning shenanigans. 

B tried to find the kid to understand his perspective of what happened.  But couldn’t locate him without the cars in the pits.  After the race he found the car being loaded onto an arrive-and-drive car hauler.  It all made more sense after this.  If anyone does know who this person is, we’d love to get in touch.  We’re not upset, but think the “kid” should know that doing that to the wrong driver, especially in a different series, could end up ugly for him back in the pits.  Some racing drivers can be aggressive hot heads, believe it or not.  If you’re reading this, Mr. 701, come chat at the next race and we’ll even provide the beer, assuming you’re old enough. Even though you took away B’s non-contact virginity, he’s not holding any grudges.

It was also a good learning experience for B.  It was the first potential contact he didn’t actively try and avoid. B let the first two moves cloud his judgment of conservatism on the third turn-in.  Allowing the aggressive driver to go through first would have allowed B to choose another place to make a pass and would have put the team in the top 15 overall

BACK TO RACING

D gets in the car and has another flawless run, as usual.  We add fuel, B gets back in the car (Chris said get out, but didn’t banish B from racing more).  B heads out for the last 2 hours and catches a black flag on the out lap.  Apparently, he violated the blend line.  Judge Tim said he was one of many making this mistake and would let him back out.  However, as this was our 4th trip of the day to the box, if B “so much as farted in the car and came back in” (Tim’s words) he would just point B straight to the trailer.  B thanked him, shook his hand, and went out.  B spent the last 2 hours running the fastest laps of his weekend and was consistent in doing so.  B gave Tim a fist bump exiting the parade lap while exclaiming from his helmet, “NOT EVEN ONE FART!”

FINITIONE

CYBERFUKD finished 4th in class and 18th overall.  Congrats to the JUNK RUNNERS who have now won C-class at every California track.  Hopefully this is enough to finally move them to B class, but if its not, we look forward to kicking their ass soon.  Congrats to all the winners and the rest of the C-Class podium. 

Thank you to the Lemons Judges, a great time as always.  We’ll work on that driving order to better align our drivers with the conditions on the track.  See you soon.