Lemons Book (Page 5 of 9)

I'll follow this up with some pictures, but probably a bit more out of the ordinary is this I origianlly wrote for Goldedn Gate Lotus Club after the Chotus ran for the first time:

The Road to Elite Enlightenment

On December 4th 2011, a 1974 Lotus Elite with a Chevy V8 engine competed in a 15 hour endurance event at Buttonwillow, California.

It didn’t do very well.

This is the story of our path. You can follow it if you like. Probably best if you don’t though.

Step 1. Buy a Lotus Elite.
Possibly the hardest part of the operation, as there is likely less than 100 of these fantastic machines in working order in the US. We found our car by advertising a second hand fridge on Craigslist, then asking the guy who showed up if they have a Lotus Elite they’d like to swap for the fridge. We asked him to throw in a couple of hundred bucks. (This really happened.)

Step 2. Bring the Elite home.
We found out that Colin, being his usual efficient self, used the drive shafts as the upper suspension elements. With the diff in the standard place for the Elite (the trunk), towing quickly resulted in two flat tires as they impinged on the incredibly sharp shock tower brackets.

Step 3. Look for the rear brakes.
We found them in the trunk. With the diff. On the diff actually. And they’re drums.

Step 4. Remove the Interior.
Everyone knows that to be competitive in a race you should make your car as light as possible by removing the creature comforts such as passenger seats and the air conditioning. The Elite was originally a luxury 2+2 as it rolled off the production line all those years ago, but Colin was alive at the time, and simplify and add lightness was still the rule in Hethel. Removing all the interior saved us about 10 pounds, but vastly reduced the amount of tan corduroy we see on a daily basis.

Step 5. Build a cage.
In fact, we didn’t build a cage. It’s far too difficult for a Joe Shmoe like you and me. We took it to an expert cage builder who scratched his head at the challenge of finding enough metal in the car to weld to. In the end he built a complete under floor chassis to hold your seat to the cage. In the event of a really big hit the fiberglass body may part company with the cage, but at least we’ll still be in the cage.

Step 6. Install the diff.
We set aside about 3 days for this task, not really because the diff is hard to install, but that with the drums on the diff you have to connect brake lines to the diff when the diff is in place. We could have saved about 2.5 of those days if had cut large holes in the fiberglass by the transmission tunnel to access the brake lines from the back seat. We did this after spending the 3 days installing the diff.

Step 7. Get the Chevy V8 running.
This is ridiculously easy provided you don’t have the distributor set 180 degrees out. You’ll know if you’ve done this because 8 foot flames out of the carburetor are not normal. Neither is blowing the breather out of the valve cover into your overhead florescent lights.

Step 8. Go to the practice day on the Friday before the race.
A novice would think that the practice day is to tune up the performance of the car on track. It turns out that normal procedure is to hammer on the radiator fan shroud to try and reduce interference. Take the radiator out to have to hole you just made in it repaired. Bleed the brakes 9 times. Go out on track for ¼ of a lap and get towed in with an apparent fuel problem. Wonder what’s causing the blue smoke to come out of the exhaust but not have time to investigate it. Fail tech by putting the battery in the trunk, so that in a big rear end hit we have a heavy object to puncture the gas tank and a spark source to ignite it. Move the battery to the rear seat, and collapse in a heap from a 14 hour day working on the car.

Step 9. Line up for the start on Saturday.
Again a novice would think that this is to take part in the race. Instead this is so that we could get towed off after another ¼ of a lap with the fuel problem that we had the day before but didn’t solve. We installed an electric pump instead of the mechanical one and wondered why we still had a fuel problem. We replaced the inline fuel filter and wondered why we still had a fuel problem. We examined the interior of the carburetor and wondered why we still had a fuel problem. We found a kink in the fuel line right under the gas tank and knew why we had a fuel problem.
At last we got to run two laps of the track before getting black flagged for leaving blue smoke swath so bad we understood why James Bond liked Lotuses. Back to the pits we started taking the engine apart and wondered if we did anything bad to the internals when we spat flames out of the carburetor. Nah. That couldn’t be it.

Actually…

Backfires (frontfires?) could have blown the intake gasket, letting oil into some of the cylinders. Good job it’s easy to take the intake manifold off a V8 and replace it. While we’re in the pits we drained the ½ gallon of gasoline in the trunk and tried and figure out where it’s coming from. We connected tubes to the breathers that vented into the trunk. Finally! The car was fixed and we could get back out on track. Shame that racing for the day stopped 6 hours ago.

Step 10 Go racing!
Really! The car was ready and fun to drive! For two laps. Then we needed to change out the rear tires for smaller ones to stop them impinging on the subframe (see Step 2.) we went back out but the car just got slower and slower…
The throttle cable was stretching due to a bad pull angle from the accelerator pedal. Another stop and an adjustment on the throttle made the car faster again, but it was a temporary fix as the cable started to fray in the sheath, making it stick. A further fix allowed the accelerator to work, achieving incredible speeds on the back straight, but also allowing the accelerator pedal so swing behind the brake pedal, removing all ability to shed the incredible speed at the end of the straight... The driver at the time compained a bit when he returned white as a sheet to the pits.

I just sent you a proof. I inserted photos I had of you guys at Buttonwillow. I hope you like them.

P.S. What is the name of the team that did the space shuttle car at Thunderhill?  - Cannonball Bandits - now Rockstar car I believe Send Nick and email witht the info you are requesting then ask him to forward it to the members of the team, hopefully one of them will reply.

I should probably add something about the Puffalump.

How about changing the "crapcan racing" bit to "budget endurance racing". Might sit a little better on a shelf.

Corey, I either see what you mean, or I sense you're falling in love with that Rambler and no longer think of it as a crapcan.

Yes, it has a negative aspect to the word, but it also has punch, and humor, and is fun to say.

I don't see many of these books making it to the shelves. I don't think the cost of print-on-demand production will make it retail friendly. Still, I'll set a retail price for it, with bar code and everything, to keep that option open. I'll have to talk to some books store and the gift shop at the Cal Auto Museum to get an idea of what retail pricing would need to be. I'm still planning on keeping the current formula for people who buy it direct, and that is - printing costs plus $10. I understand that retail doubles of triples printing costs to set the sale price.

I checked with Lulu as an alternative printing source and if we wanted to produce B/W copies the costs are a lot lower, but if we want full-bleed color, which is what  am shooting for, their prices are more than double what I'm getting now.

I also checked in a CreateSpace, the self-publishing arm of Amazon. It's difficult to work out what their formula is but they take a pretty big cut, and the more I raise the price the more they take. CreateSpace is highly recommended by writers because of quality and they help sell the book and because they offer a lot of support services, such as cover and layout design, for a cost. There's also language in their terms of service agreement that seems to make them the sole distributor, but I could be wrong about that. My past experiences with publishing houses has left me a bit jaded.

Every self-publishing article I have read is geared towards producing a book that will sell well. I pictured this more as a book by and for us. If it sells well anyway, well then heck, maybe I should get paid something.

Mike

I can get you their address as they live a couple of blocks from me.

Thanks, or just have them email me.

Here's the photo/page I am referring to.

Try to email it to me. If it doesn't make it through I'll set up a folder where people can ftp it to, or I'll see if my dropbox will work.

You could always send the photos separately.

Updated table of contents - http://www.kstreetstudio.com/files/24HO … ntents.pdf

It looks like I'll be having a lot come in at the last minute (green), and I still haven't given up trying to get something from the teams in yellow. Of course, any and all teams are invited.

Also, I still need to contact JailBaitJ. He doesn't answer his PMs, and I'd like to hear from the Fiero Libra guys.

I just ran the contents/index build again. We're at 174 pages, 61,284 words, 182 photos and illustrations, and the average word length is still 4. Figures.

I'm all caught up except for the latest photo credits and permissions. I guess it's time to focus on the exhibit a bit.

I know. Even a "team" bio would be a chapter in itself. I was just hoping to get something representative, especially of the final days of that legacy. I think it was Steve who was going to do that. I need to check my notes.

I understand that Phil is writing the whole K story.