Topic: COABM Manifesto
I'm so tired of all this "I'll trade bacon for X" and "Free bacon for anyone who can help me with Y' ... Have we the world of lemons become so predictable in our choice of bribes and breakfast meats that we are slowly becoming replaceable by bacon distributing automatons??
We the Coalition of Alternate Breakfast Meats have been trying to enlighten you all, to show you the path out of the avoidable mono-pork product future... but sadly you all seem to be happily heading toward a cliff of bacon, lemming like in you lack of fore site to the dangers ahead of you.
We can no longer stand by and allow you to simply have crispy or chewy bacon as the only options on your breakfast plate. We shall rise, we shall overcome the bacon establishment, and we shall bring choice of breakfast meats to the people.
If you do not stand with us, with our bountiful stores of Pork Roll, Scrapple, sausage, ham and who knows we may even have some bacon next to the beans and toast ... you stand against us and we will will break down you walls of bacon.
This will be the COABM Manifesto ... and it will go down in lemons history! ... welcome to day one AB. (After Bacon!)
Three Pedal Mafia
Ombudsman - Coalition of Alternate Breakfast Meats