Topic: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

Casked in 1992

Please identify yourself. You made the night of four VERY tired motherfuckers out here in Frankfurt

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"

Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

mmm, 18-year Scotch. :drool:

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Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

Slammed with reckless abandon by four degenerates

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"

Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

I hoped you used your special commemorative BRIBED shot glass. I've totally forgotten which team gave us those, but one of my all-time favorite bribes.

5 (edited by BossTweed 2009-09-17 12:16 PM)

Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

Judge Jonny wrote:

Casked in 1992

Please identify yourself. You made the night of four VERY tired motherfuckers out here in Frankfurt

I remember some E30 team bitching about how they bribed you guys with awesome scotch and still got a 40 lap penalty (they had the guy at the liquor store pick it out).

Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

e30 team, whining? This must be fiction.

Pat Mulry, TARP Racing #67

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Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

pfft...Scotch.  probably been drooled in by dirty Scots.  the only way it could be more wretched is if it were made by the Irish.

if those chaps wanted to make a proper bribe they would've chosen gin, the drink of civilized men.


BossTweed wrote:

they had the guy at the liquor store pick it out

in that case they deserved every one of those laps, IMO.  wink

mike - Schumacher Taxi Service
12+-time loser
"Winner" - We Got Screwed, NJMP '11

Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

Buzz Killington wrote:

pfft...Scotch.  probably been drooled in by dirty Scots.  the only way it could be more wretched is if it were made by the Irish.

if those chaps wanted to make a proper bribe they would've chosen gin, the drink of civilized men.


BossTweed wrote:

they had the guy at the liquor store pick it out

in that case they deserved every one of those laps, IMO.  wink

Agree. A T & T with a twist of lemon....the British Empire ran on it for two hundred years!

Jim "Endo" Anderton
30 years of racing and still not Brambilla.....

9 (edited by EvergreenDan 2009-09-17 01:01 PM)

Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

Buzz Killington wrote:

pfft...Scotch.  probably been drooled in by dirty Scots.  the only way it could be more wretched is if it were made by the Irish.

if those chaps wanted to make a proper bribe they would've chosen gin, the drink of civilized men.

Now I see why they call you Buzz. tongue

You could follow the weather:

Cold outside: Drink something brown neat: scotch, bourbon, Irish whiskey, good rum, good tequila

Warm outside: Drink something clear cold: gin martini, gin & tonic, vodka if that's your thing, Mojito, Caipirinha

Hot outside: Beer

But I usually ignore the weather and drink whatever. Hey, is it cocktail time yet?

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Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

jimeditorial wrote:

A T & T

What's a phone company have to do with scotch?  Or did you mean G&T, as in Gin and Tonic?  wink

-TPC

30 Time Loser with Class C, Index of Effluency, I got Screwed and Heroic Fix Trophies who usually races, according to Car and Driver, The Greatest Road Racing Cherokee in History.

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Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

TeamPettyCash wrote:
jimeditorial wrote:

A T & T

What's a phone company have to do with scotch?  Or did you mean G&T, as in Gin and Tonic?  wink

-TPC

Tanqueray and Tonic

Jim "Endo" Anderton
30 years of racing and still not Brambilla.....

Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

TeamPettyCash wrote:
jimeditorial wrote:

A T & T

What's a phone company have to do with scotch?  Or did you mean G&T, as in Gin and Tonic?  wink

-TPC

barbarians.

mike - Schumacher Taxi Service
12+-time loser
"Winner" - We Got Screwed, NJMP '11

13

Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

if those chaps wanted to make a proper bribe they would've chosen gin, the drink of civilized men.

They are bribing the judges not civilized men.

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Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

jimeditorial wrote:
TeamPettyCash wrote:
jimeditorial wrote:

A T & T

What's a phone company have to do with scotch?  Or did you mean G&T, as in Gin and Tonic?  wink

Tanqueray and Tonic

Tanqueray was only founded in 1830, it can't have been sustaining the Empire for 200 years.... 

-TPC

30 Time Loser with Class C, Index of Effluency, I got Screwed and Heroic Fix Trophies who usually races, according to Car and Driver, The Greatest Road Racing Cherokee in History.

Check out our FB Page and follow our various exploits.

Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

I loved when I handed the Judge our bottle of Jack. He had me follow him to the table where he produced another teams much larger bottle of Jack. He asked me "What's wrong with this picture?" With which I produced another bottle and said "those cheap bastards only brought you one bottle!"

And to me, the bribing is just in the spirit of the show. Same reason we come up with ridiculous themes, get stuff welded to our cars, etc. Bribing the judges should be a MUST for all racers!! Even though we didn't cheat, i'm sure we gained some favor with the judges in the penalty box.

So we'll see you all again, in the same POS car, and we'll still bring the bribes!!!

Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

Bribing the judges won't help you in the Penalty Box. However, if we see you're loaning tools and generally helping other teams stay in the race, we'll have mercy on you when you come in after that totally undeserved black flag. Maybe.

17 (edited by Buzz Killington 2009-09-17 01:52 PM)

Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

MurileeMartin wrote:

totally undeserved black flag.

this seems redundant.

mike - Schumacher Taxi Service
12+-time loser
"Winner" - We Got Screwed, NJMP '11

Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

TeamPettyCash wrote:
jimeditorial wrote:
TeamPettyCash wrote:

What's a phone company have to do with scotch?  Or did you mean G&T, as in Gin and Tonic?  wink

Tanqueray and Tonic

Tanqueray was only founded in 1830, it can't have been sustaining the Empire for 200 years.... 

-TPC

Good point....India in the 1870's so if Brit empire ends in 1945, about 75 years as a  cocktail.......

Jim "Endo" Anderton
30 years of racing and still not Brambilla.....

Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

jimeditorial wrote:

if Brit empire ends in 1945

it did no such thing.  heavens.

mike - Schumacher Taxi Service
12+-time loser
"Winner" - We Got Screwed, NJMP '11

Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

Buzz Killington wrote:
jimeditorial wrote:

if Brit empire ends in 1945

it did no such thing.  heavens.

Guess you're right....Queen Elizabeth is on all my pocket change....

Jim "Endo" Anderton
30 years of racing and still not Brambilla.....

Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

MurileeMartin wrote:

Bribing the judges won't help you in the Penalty Box. However, if we see you're loaning tools and generally helping other teams stay in the race, we'll have mercy on you when you come in after that totally undeserved black flag. Maybe.

10-4. ixnay the liquor bribes.

Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

I recall, at the Fernley race, that we handed our bribe, cleverly disguised as part of our overall theme, to the judges. It was thrown on the ground, the distinguished judges not realizing that it contained a bottle of Park City's finest hand-distilled whiskey, and they even disparaged the bribe as "lame" ... I understand that panic and remorse ensued, once they realized what they'd done and what was really 'in there'....
Fortunately, I hear the "shrubbery" bribe escaped basically intact, and I do hope the contents were thoroughly enjoyed!

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Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

I would re-think that particular line of reasoning

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"

Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

Disney, i agree...don't bring liquor to BS.  be sure to let us know how that goes over.

jimeditorial wrote:

Guess you're right....Queen Elizabeth is on all my pocket change....

and so shall she ever remain!

mike - Schumacher Taxi Service
12+-time loser
"Winner" - We Got Screwed, NJMP '11

Re: Best Bribe Ever: 1992 Signatory Vintage Highland Park

Judge Jonny wrote:

I would re-think that particular line of reasoning

10-4 Keep the bribes comin, necessary or not. big_smile

We'll do it anyways, it's just part of the whole Lemons Show. If we left without he "Bribed" stamp on the car, i'd feel like we WERE cheating!