1 Topic by whitney (edited by whitney 2009-09-18 09:39 PM)

  • Registered: 2009-09-02
  • Posts: 25

Topic: Best/worst track questions for Jay and the judges

First off thanks for making 24 hours of Lemons a reality.  It's a fantastic race and I hope it goes on for a long long time.

I've competed (if you can call 2 blown motors competing) in 2 CMP events and was wondering about how Lemons South compares with the other events you guys run.  Looks like there are what, 8 or so events in 2009?  Here are a few things I was wondering from Jay and the judges / organizers, in your limited experience so far --

1. Which event/location has the best themes?
2. Which event/location has the best/most competent driving?
3. Which event/location has had the crappiest driving?
4. Which event/location has had the best prepped cars?
5. Which event/location has had crappiest POS cars?
6. Which event/location is the biggest crash-fest?
7. Which event/location has the most cheating?
8. Which event/location yields the best bribes?
9. Which event/location has the most high-dollar pit setups?
10. Which event/location has the greatest number of hot women in attendance?

Jay, Murilee, and other Judges I hope you can respond.  Should be interesting smile

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  • From: Land Of Subarus, Colorado
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 9,416

Re: Best/worst track questions for Jay and the judges

1. Reno/Fernley and Buttonwillow have had the best themes so far. West Coast races in general have great themes.

2. I'm going to say the New Orleans race, but that might just be because 50% of the cars blew up right away and left the track nice and open for the survivors.

3. Thunderhill

4. Buttonwillow and Reno-Fernley

5. CMP

6. Altamont, by a landslide. Altamont is now kaput, so probably Buttonwillow has the most metal-to-metal these days. Nothing can touch Altamont in the crash-fest department, though; you can spot an Altamont veteran car by the crumpled bodywork.

7. CMP

8. Houston

9. Houston

10. Depends on your definition of "hot." I think Bill Clinton would prefer the New Orleans race, what with the big hair and all. CMP has a higher percentage of women in the crowd than any other track. Everyone bundles up so much at Thunderhill that you can't even tell men from women most of the time. The other non-freezing West Coast races have a lot of female racers, many of whom would likely meet whatever the current standard of beauty might be right now, so I'm going to say the winner is Buttonwillow.

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3 Reply by Judge Jonny (edited by Judge Jonny 2009-09-18 09:41 PM)

  • From: Los Fucking Angeles
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 1,032

Re: Best/worst track questions for Jay and the judges

1) West Coast races generally have the best themes, though CMP has one or two that are outstanding.

2) Best driving is hands down CMP. New Orleans is second, but we've only seen one race there.

3) Any west coast race features enough crappy driving for a season. Texas is second. Actually, Texas is really bad, too

4) Best prepped cars.... they are all terrible. Though a Mega-Cheater class is slowly evolving in California led my the Sharks, the FrankenMiata and the V8olvo + all SE-Rs

5) All cars everywhere are terrible

6) Altamont, RIP. So now we I guess... Buttonwillow/Thunderhill/Reno

7) CMP would have twice the cheating of all the races put together if not for the last Buttonwillow race where the Cheatonium was at radioactive levels.

8) Best bribes is California. I mean, a Jag XJ-S showed up with four cases of beer plus EIGHT bottles of booze at Buttonwillow in the trunk.

9) Texas, where a guy stepped out of a Ferrari Enzo and into Neon.

10) Women?

EDIT: rats, Judge Phil beat me to it.

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"
  • From: San Diego, CA
  • Registered: 2009-08-17
  • Posts: 364

Re: Best/worst track questions for Jay and the judges

Judge Jonny wrote:

8) Best bribes is California. I mean, a Jag XJ-S showed up with four cases of beer plus EIGHT bottles of booze at Buttonwillow in the trunk.

Hey... it had a big trunk. Whatcha gonna do?

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  • From: Los Fucking Angeles
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 1,032

Re: Best/worst track questions for Jay and the judges

magnusracing wrote:
Judge Jonny wrote:

8) Best bribes is California. I mean, a Jag XJ-S showed up with four cases of beer plus EIGHT bottles of booze at Buttonwillow in the trunk.

Hey... it had a big trunk. Whatcha gonna do?

'Cha going to refill it.

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"
  • From: The other side of the fence
  • Registered: 2009-06-17
  • Posts: 388

Re: Best/worst track questions for Jay and the judges

Judge Jonny wrote:
magnusracing wrote:
Judge Jonny wrote:

8) Best bribes is California. I mean, a Jag XJ-S showed up with four cases of beer plus EIGHT bottles of booze at Buttonwillow in the trunk.

Hey... it had a big trunk. Whatcha gonna do?

'Cha going to refill it.

We were trying to set the BAR a little higher in the bribe category for you guys. Because putting up with all us dick heads who like to argue, bitch,moan,rant and be just all around self righteous ass holes and argue with Jay has got to need a lot of good booze to put a smile on your face.


Bribe requests can be e-mailed to pendejoengineering@gmail.com and Santa will show up at THill with a trunk full of goodies.

Mega Super Maximo Grande Stupendous Pendejo

  • fabtoys
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Re: Best/worst track questions for Jay and the judges

Wait till T Hill I wil have the best bribe ever because my car is going to need it !!

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  • From: Tampa, Florida
  • Registered: 2009-05-05
  • Posts: 121

Re: Best/worst track questions for Jay and the judges

According to Murilee, we drivers in the south (CMP) are the biggest cheaters with the crappiest cars.

Ouch.

  • From: Land Of Subarus, Colorado
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 9,416

Re: Best/worst track questions for Jay and the judges

Correction: the best cheaters were at Buttonwillow, but the most blatant cheaters are still the southerners.

And while we had a higher quantity of booze bribes at Buttonwillow, we get a greater variety of bribes in Texas. Got to say, though, my parties are now way better stocked since I joined the Lemons Supreme Court.

Murilee Martin aka Judge Phil on Facebook
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Judge Phil's Lemons posts on Car and Driver
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