Topic: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

Bernie Ecclestone, Don of F1 since it tried to hang itself in the late 70's, has made a strong attempt to convert his Chief Perp status into actual perp status in Germany.

http://jalopnik.com/f1-supremo-bernie-e … -812482600

Since Lemons is now known the world over as the second-most innovative racing series, it only makes sense that Jay would be promoted to Bernies soon-to-be former job. Let the rumormongering begin!

Pat Mulry, TARP Racing #67

Mandatory disclaimer: all opinions expressed are mine alone & not those of 24HOL, its mgmt, sponsors, etc.

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

A LeMons-style awards ceremony is what F1 needs. That boring sitting at the table thing has to go and Jay is just the guy to do this!

And the trophies, made up of broken $50,000 brake rotors and carbon fiber helmet piercing suspension components, yes!

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

Jay would have to take a pay cut to run F1.

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

Don't forget that Phil has to join him so he can spice up F1's PR department and whisper into Jay's ear things like "F1 needs a minivan class."

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

Phil would become Chief Stewart

Racing 4 Nickels - 1989 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera
2011 SHOWROOM-SCHLOCK SHOOTOUT  IOE Winner
2012 The Chubba Cheddar Enduro Class C winner
Facebook Page

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

New engines choices:

Quad4
Slant-Six
Flathead Ford V8
PRV V6

Supporting races:

Daewoo Laganza Cup
Spec Dynasty
Tempo Trophy

Eric Rood
Everything Bagel, 24 Hours of Lemons
eric@24hoursoflemons.com

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

I look forward to the caterwauling that will result from the mandating of 190+ TW tires.

Pat Mulry, TARP Racing #67

Mandatory disclaimer: all opinions expressed are mine alone & not those of 24HOL, its mgmt, sponsors, etc.

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

ANY tires would be better than this season's Pirellis!

Forget the addition of fake rain track sprinklers--LeMons-style penalties would spice things up in no time.

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

190 TW tires, and 190 cars on track!

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

"Tire testing shall consist only of seeing if 190TW tires can blindside unsuspecting pitlane reporters adequately. Test subjects must be professional race drivers."

Eric Rood
Everything Bagel, 24 Hours of Lemons
eric@24hoursoflemons.com

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

I'm pretty sure that there is not a single signatory to the Concorde Agreement that could handle Rule 2.4.

Pat Mulry, TARP Racing #67

Mandatory disclaimer: all opinions expressed are mine alone & not those of 24HOL, its mgmt, sponsors, etc.

12 (edited by therood 2013-07-17 02:35 PM)

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

It'd be a tough transition for all the drivers...

...except Kimi.

PHIL: "Why did you pass under yellow?"

KIMI: "I needed to do a shit."

Eric Rood
Everything Bagel, 24 Hours of Lemons
eric@24hoursoflemons.com

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

Mulry wrote:

I'm pretty sure that there is not a single signatory to the Concorde Agreement that could handle Rule 2.4.

That is truth right thar.

ONSET/Tetanus Racing, est. 2008.
Guest drives: NSF, Rocket Surgery, Property Devaluation, Terminally Confused, Team Sputnik, The Syndicate, Pit Crew Revenge, Spank, Hella Shitty, Sir Jackie Stewart's Coin Purse, Nine Finger Drifters, Salty Thunder, Panting Polar Bear, Vistabeam, Hangar 13, and Escape Velocity.
74 races so far.

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

therood wrote:

It'd be a tough transition for all the drivers...

...except Kimi.

PHIL: "Why did you pass under yellow?"

KIMI: "I needed to do a shit."

This might just be the first acceptable answer in the history of racing.

15 (edited by Mulry 2013-07-17 03:18 PM)

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

I'd like to see one of these:

http://www.popularmechanics.com/cm/popularmechanics/images/ty/indycar-wheel-1011-de.jpg

With one with a Dymo sticker in the middle reminding the driver "It Was My Fault"

Pat Mulry, TARP Racing #67

Mandatory disclaimer: all opinions expressed are mine alone & not those of 24HOL, its mgmt, sponsors, etc.

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

http://i44.tinypic.com/m79oi8.jpg

Nailed it. Thanks MS Paint!

Eric Rood
Everything Bagel, 24 Hours of Lemons
eric@24hoursoflemons.com

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

ninjacoco wrote:
therood wrote:

It'd be a tough transition for all the drivers...

...except Kimi.

PHIL: "Why did you pass under yellow?"

KIMI: "I needed to do a shit."

This might just be the first acceptable answer in the history of racing.

If you've never seen it.

I love that the interviewer immediately regrets asking the question before Kimi even has a chance to answer it.

Eric Rood
Everything Bagel, 24 Hours of Lemons
eric@24hoursoflemons.com

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

where do I get a steering wheel with that many buttons? It'd give us something to do on the front straight at road america.

dead rabbit society: cultured 'n shit.

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

therood wrote:

It'd be a tough transition for all the drivers...

...except Kimi.

PHIL: "Why did you pass under yellow?"

KIMI: "I needed to do a shit."

Kimi's steering wheel.

http://wtf1.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Kimi-steering-wheel.jpg

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

The turbo era is coming back to F1

"He attacked everything in life with a mixture of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which."   -Adams, Douglas.   The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

14x loser @ Gingerman, Autobahn, Summit Point, New Jersey, Road 'Merica, and Barber

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

jiggermyster wrote:
therood wrote:

It'd be a tough transition for all the drivers...

...except Kimi.

PHIL: "Why did you pass under yellow?"

KIMI: "I needed to do a shit."

Kimi's steering wheel.

http://wtf1.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Kimi-steering-wheel.jpg

The fact that there steering wheels cost more than an entire field of Lemons cars still blows me away.  I love the translate, anti-mumble button.  I wish we could have gotten Kimi into a Lemons car when he was running nascar

Bloomington, IN
We'll bring Beer!  Motorsports
Team Fiery Death! #0 2009 Lamest Day(65th), 2010 American Irony(24th), 2010 Detroit Bull(4th),2012 Capitol Offense (8th) 2012 American Irony (11 th), 2013 Capitol Offense (3rd) 2013 Chubba Chedder (4th, Judge Choice!) Now sadly part of a scrap pile. 
Toothless Racing Deadbeats #110 2011 Summit Point (61st) Currently being rebuilt into the new car!

22

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

Looks like Red Bull is already working on their car for the Jay Lamm era

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl … QGXmGquyaU[

Racing 4 Nickels - 1989 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera
2011 SHOWROOM-SCHLOCK SHOOTOUT  IOE Winner
2012 The Chubba Cheddar Enduro Class C winner
Facebook Page

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

One of the things that I find perpetually entertaining about the business of F1 is that every other year or so in the off-season, the team principals all get together with FIA and come up with a bunch of ways to "constrain costs," and the measures they come up with are stuff like bans on most testing, limits on the number of personnel each team can bring with them to the tracks, bans on engine development, mandatory standard ECU's, that sort of thing.

It seems like the team principals all then go back to Woking or Maranello or Milton Keynes and say "here are the rules, boys, now burn up all the money we have to make the car better in every way not specifically prohibited by the letter of the law," and they proceed to do just that. Which is to say, they have cost containment, but just barely.

The reign of Jay Lamm, with assistance from chief battleaxe Judge Phil, will teach them all a thing or two about cost containment. For example, I anticipate that this will be the new spec steering wheel:

http://image.automobilemag.com/f/features/news/1302_i_sing_the_wheel_electric/46121289+w968/Ford-Model-T-steering-wheel.jpg

Pat Mulry, TARP Racing #67

Mandatory disclaimer: all opinions expressed are mine alone & not those of 24HOL, its mgmt, sponsors, etc.

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

Mandate that Rock Auto be the sole supplier of all parts.

Re: Bernie Indicted. Jay to become F1 Chief Perp?

therood wrote:
ninjacoco wrote:
therood wrote:

It'd be a tough transition for all the drivers...

...except Kimi.

PHIL: "Why did you pass under yellow?"

KIMI: "I needed to do a shit."

This might just be the first acceptable answer in the history of racing.

If you've never seen it.

I love that the interviewer immediately regrets asking the question before Kimi even has a chance to answer it.

Great, now I am going to be watching Kimi clips on youtube for the rest of the day.

Lou Glutz Motorsports:  Vodden 2012 DNF, Pointless 2013 DNF, Vodden 2013 DNF, ArseFreeze 2013 P-53, Pointless 2014 P-65, Vodden 2014 P-85, Arse-Freeze 2014 P-31 Class A, Pointless 2015 P-105 (brakes) Class A, Vodden 2015 P-75 (Electrical), ArseFreeze 2015 P-41, Pointless 2016 P-53, ArseFreeze P-29