• From: Land Of Subarus, Colorado
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 9,416

Topic: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

Racers, if we hand you some laps in the BS inspection, do not hang around for the rest of the day and bitch at us about how we're letting other teams get away with cheatin' murder. An especially bad move is the world-weary, head-shaking sigh followed by a bitter aside like "NOW I see how this deal works!"

The same applies to the Penalty Box. Don't show up demanding to know why some other team passed 18 cars under yellow and didn't even get black-flagged, while your team had to do a Cultural Revolution penalty for nothing at all (in fact, the typical penalty we dish out for nothing at all is the Marcel Marceau).

You get a rep for whining about being singled out for special hosing and you'll be introduced to the concept of the self-fulfilling prophecy.

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  • JThw8
  • JThw8
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  • From: Mullica Hill, NJ
  • Registered: 2009-06-10
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Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

I feel for you guys.  Sounds like it was a bad weekend to be a judge sad

http://wartburg.misfittoysracing.com
OTTER: "I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part."
BLUTO: "We're just the guys to do it."

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  • From: Los Fucking Angeles
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 1,032

Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

Very good point.

We (me und Murilee) did nine races in 2009.

With 100 to 150 teams per race with four to eight people per team, you are talking about... I can't do math, but you get the idea. You all look alike.

We do remember certain drivers, however.

From this past weekend, I will remember Seth, John, Rene and... (that other guy) from the V12 Mercedes team, Why? Because they brought one of the raddest cars ever and were super cool and let me drive it around. In fact, they just tossed me the keys without prompting and told me to take it for a spin without me even asking -- I guess they could read my mind.

I also remember a certain mustachioed gentleman that did every fricking thing Judge Murilee mentioned above, repeatedly.

Hint, hint.

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"
  • From: Los Fucking Angeles
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
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Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

JThw8 wrote:

I feel for you guys.  Sounds like it was a bad weekend to be a judge sad

Naw -- totally fun. We loved it.

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"
  • JThw8
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Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

Judge Jonny wrote:
JThw8 wrote:

I feel for you guys.  Sounds like it was a bad weekend to be a judge sad

Naw -- totally fun. We loved it.

Glad to hear it, its fun because you all make it fun.  I think if you guys weren't enjoying yourselves everything would go downhill a bit.

http://wartburg.misfittoysracing.com
OTTER: "I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part."
BLUTO: "We're just the guys to do it."

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  • From: Los Fucking Angeles
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 1,032

Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

JThw8 wrote:
Judge Jonny wrote:
JThw8 wrote:

I feel for you guys.  Sounds like it was a bad weekend to be a judge sad

Naw -- totally fun. We loved it.

Glad to hear it, its fun because you all make it fun.  I think if you guys weren't enjoying yourselves everything would go downhill a bit.

Well.... so, today as my financee was getting ready to throw out 900 pounds of bridezilla mags, I said, "No -- I need those! For... a new penalty."

So... still fun

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"
  • From: Davis, Ca
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 1,843

Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

There was one point when I was being nice to a team in the penalty box, the driver had fessed up to his crime, and I was about to give a lenient sentence, then up pops some team member or hanger on, swearing at me, telling me how wrong I was.... Wow, did that penalty increase.   The rest of the team and the driver tried to get the guy to shut up and then denied he was even with them... what a sorry scene.  Very entertaining watching the poor schmuck get tossed under the bus, we all had a good laugh.

   The guy who got in my face, telling me that I was "fucking stupid'   didn't help matters, I was really hard on teams with bad attitudes after that.

Gosh, my business card says 'Tech Tyrant'
  • From: Safety Harbor, FL (Tampa)
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 668

Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

Judge Jonny wrote:

my financee

Where can I get one of those?  I'm sure I could do a lot more racing with a financee.  Just don't tell my wife.

Lemons South 2008 - Fail, Lemons South Spring 2009 - Fail, Lemons Detroit(ish) 2008 - Fail, Lemons South Fall 2009 - Fail, Lamest Day 2009 - Fail, Miami 2010 (Chump) - 2nd!, Sebring 2010 (Chump) - Fail, Cuba 2010 - Crew Chief, Roebling 2011 (Chump) - 8th!, Sebring 2011(Chump) - 19th!
  • From: Land Of Subarus, Colorado
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 9,416

Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

Yeah, we have fun at Lemons, even when it's Whine Condition Red.

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  • From: Los Fucking Angeles
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 1,032

Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

or deep throbbing purple

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"
  • Serj
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Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

What about the WHAAAAAAAAAAAAMBER alerts?

  • From: Los Fucking Angeles
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 1,032

Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

Serj wrote:

What about the WHAAAAAAAAAAAAMBER alerts?

Hee hee hee.

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"
  • From: WOOTville USA
  • Registered: 2009-05-06
  • Posts: 2,415

Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

Ha-ha-ha, you need a siren for the worst complainers ... then again, that might get annoying in Cali.

"Real ZomBees prefer Bacon"
IOE(x2) MGB/SAAB 96, Judge's Choice, Class C Win, & 2011 Hooniverse Car of the Year!
MRolla, Stick Figure/Animal House, Free Range MR2, SAAB Sonett, "The Death Flip"
2008 Exoskeleton Jag Fiasco, Concours d Lemons - Rue Britannia, worse British car.

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  • JThw8
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Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

"Sparky" Pete wrote:

Ha-ha-ha, you need a siren for the worst complainers ... then again, that might get annoying in Cali.

How about a baby doll that crys constantly strapped into their car with them as a whiner penalty.   Annoying to them, not so annoying to the rest of the world.

Or just strap it to their roof, less annoying for them but it lets the world know they've been pegged as whiners.

http://wartburg.misfittoysracing.com
OTTER: "I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part."
BLUTO: "We're just the guys to do it."

JThw8's Website

  • Serj
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  • From: Cincinnati, OH
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Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

JThw8 wrote:
"Sparky" Pete wrote:

Ha-ha-ha, you need a siren for the worst complainers ... then again, that might get annoying in Cali.

How about a baby doll that crys constantly strapped into their car with them as a whiner penalty.   Annoying to them, not so annoying to the rest of the world.

Or just strap it to their roof, less annoying for them but it lets the world know they've been pegged as whiners.

you guys are totally spoiling a theme idea i had, you know that right? I guess the downside is there'd be no way in hell I'd "Stay in Character" going through BS. On the upside, announcing it all over the car in various forms would make it so everyone would see it coming lol

  • From: Land Of Subarus, Colorado
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 9,416

Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/jalopnik/2009/05/WGW_Sign_Front-504px.jpg

We've got the World's Greatest Whiner Alarm, but it's a real PITA to bring to races.

Murilee Martin aka Judge Phil on Facebook
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  • From: Los Fucking Angeles
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 1,032

Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

JThw8 wrote:

How about a baby doll that crys constantly strapped into their car with them as a whiner penalty.   Annoying to them, not so annoying to the rest of the world.

Brilliant!

Actually, we should just rig up a way to jump onto their radio channel and play babies screaming and crying right into their helmets.

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"
  • From: DF-Dubya
  • Registered: 2009-08-19
  • Posts: 820

Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

Just have this playing on a loop

http://simplythebest.net/sounds/WAV/sou … by_cry.wav

Summer's Eve Racing - '09 Yee-Haw; '10 Gator-O-Rama, NorDal Hooptie, Yee-Haw; '11 Gator-O-Rama, NorDal Hooptie (Winner, Class A!)
TARP Racing - '11 Yee-Haw, Heaps; '12 Gator-O-Rama (Winner, Class C ... Looking for a Class B Win to Complete the Trifecta!), Heaps; '13 NorDal Hooptie, Gator-O-Rama
  • From: Land Of Subarus, Colorado
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 9,416

Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

Actually, if anyone wants the World's Greatest Whiner sign for their shop or office, I could probably be talked into taking something in trade for it. You supply the 12 volts!

Murilee Martin aka Judge Phil on Facebook
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  • From: WOOTville USA
  • Registered: 2009-05-06
  • Posts: 2,415

Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

MurileeMartin wrote:

Actually, if anyone wants the World's Greatest Whiner sign for their shop or office, I could probably be talked into taking something in trade for it. You supply the 12 volts!

Trade you for a broken S.U. carb and manifold, lol!

"Real ZomBees prefer Bacon"
IOE(x2) MGB/SAAB 96, Judge's Choice, Class C Win, & 2011 Hooniverse Car of the Year!
MRolla, Stick Figure/Animal House, Free Range MR2, SAAB Sonett, "The Death Flip"
2008 Exoskeleton Jag Fiasco, Concours d Lemons - Rue Britannia, worse British car.

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  • jmitch
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Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

Hey Yes I fit, I may use that on our car in Feb. if we get accepted. Okay?

  • Spud
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Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

The crying baby penalty probably won't work on most Dads. We've perfected the ability to sleep through such noise. No problem. 

It will however be pure torture for single men.

Remember, it's never too early to start embellishing the past.

"so there I was, 90mph, sideways on the brink of death ..."
  • From: 5,280 ft.
  • Registered: 2009-05-01
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Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

i predict that if you sleep through that penalty, your race will end sooner than you planned.

mike - Schumacher Taxi Service
12+-time loser
"Winner" - We Got Screwed, NJMP '11

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  • Registered: 2009-05-11
  • Posts: 122

Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

Here's how I survived the penalty box with minimal pain:

1) Come in to the pits BEFORE they've had to black-flag you-- it was pretty damn obvious that I had slid the car right off Turn 14, so I knew I was going to get flagged in.  This also saves the starter and the race control people some time and frustration.
2) Let the judges know what happened.  Don't make something up, or blame someone else.  The judges hate this.  The team you're accusing of running you off the road will hate this too.
3) Keep your helmet on so Jonny and the Evil Genius can't recognize you.

  • From: Los Fucking Angeles
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Re: One of the biggest mistakes you can make with the judges

Armand4 wrote:

Here's how I survived the penalty box with minimal pain:

3) Keep your helmet on so Jonny and the Evil Genius can't recognize you.

Very true.

ALSO -- you are on a team. So when you come in and I say, "Boy -- three black flags in one day" and you immediately toss your hands up and say, "NO! This is my first one!" we get extra angry. Anything that causes extra work for us -- like having to go figure out how many black flags you have -- makes us extra angry.

Unless you are Troy, Lyle, the SCCA All Star/Lawyer or a few other select individuals, we don't care about YOU, the human being. We care about punishing the whole team. If you are Troy, Lyle, the SCCA All Star/Lawyer then we care about punishing you, the individual.

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"