• From: Los Fucking Angeles
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 1,032

Topic: The funniest BS laps EVER

So, David Swig shows up with Spencer's old Fantasy Junction ITB Integra.

But, he came bearing some pretty good bribes. Now, this is a car we've been angry at for over a season.

At the '08 Thunderhill, when we hammered the Krider boys with 1,500 laps for their DEFCON 5 cheatin' Integra (they took it like men, no worries) after the race one of them pulled me aside and said, "You should take a closer look at Fantasy Junction's Integra next time."

We hammered the car fairly good at Reno if I remember correctly.

Anyhow, Swig and the Integra show up with some excellent bribes. But we really hate ex-race cars.

So, I make David a deal. He can take 5 laps (the car is pretty beat to hell at this point) and be done with it, or we can flip a coin. Heads -- zero laps. Tails -- 1,200 laps.

And that's how the ITB Integra got 1,200 laps.

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"
  • From: WOOTville USA
  • Registered: 2009-05-06
  • Posts: 2,415

Re: The funniest BS laps EVER

Ha-ha-ha-ha! That's awesome!!

"Real ZomBees prefer Bacon"
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2008 Exoskeleton Jag Fiasco, Concours d Lemons - Rue Britannia, worse British car.

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  • Serj
  • Serj
  • Lemons Staff Stalker
  • Offline
  • From: Cincinnati, OH
  • Registered: 2009-05-02
  • Posts: 1,601

Re: The funniest BS laps EVER

As long as he took it like a man instead of a mole...

  • From: Los Fucking Angeles
  • Registered: 2009-04-30
  • Posts: 1,032

Re: The funniest BS laps EVER

Serj wrote:

As long as he took it like a man instead of a mole...

He took back the olives he bribed us with, stormed off and then when he got inside cussed me out and said he really, really hated me.

Something to that effect.

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"
  • Registered: 2009-10-25
  • Posts: 1,993

Re: The funniest BS laps EVER

Judge Jonny wrote:
Serj wrote:

As long as he took it like a man instead of a mole...

He took back the olives he bribed us with, stormed off and then when he got inside cussed me out and said he really, really hated me.

Something to that effect.

Why....you both agreed and he took the chance.....it didn't work out for him...but he sure would have been happy if he won?  Makes him wish he took the 5 laps...kinda like the dumbass criminal who is offered a sweet deal from the DA but, wrongly, believes the bricks in the box (jury) will save him.....then ends up doing life....

Richard Doty
1984 Porsche 928 "Estate"
Porsche- "there is A substitute" Racing
Dirt Poorsche Racing #2
  • riu
  • Paddock Rat
  • Offline
  • From: San Jose CA
  • Registered: 2009-06-12
  • Posts: 62

Re: The funniest BS laps EVER

Swig needs to swallow his pride and ego...

So uh... when do i stop getting penalized for being the idiot that bought Swig's I-Mark? I hope you guys enjoyed that fine bottle of Cognac!

I know that I'm penalizing myself for continuing to drive this crap box.