1 Topic by Judge Jonny (edited by Judge Jonny 2010-01-26 12:31 AM)

  • From: Los Fucking Angeles
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Topic: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

Remember after Thunderhill how you El Tardos managed to rack up 571 black flags?

There were 156 cars at that race

The Phoenix drivers scored 73 black flags with just 23 cars.

Those that are more mathematically inclined then I assure me that the ratios are very similar.

Very badly done.

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"
  • From: Land Of Subarus, Colorado
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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

Not only that, but the majority of Auction Weekend Gavel-Tap penalties were incurred by a half-dozen even-worse-than-the-terrible-average teams. The battle for the Worst Recidivist award was hard-fought, and seemed to end with a tie between the Uncontrollable Mustang and the Spinny Bovine E30. Clearly, Sheriff Joe hasn't done a good enough job preventing recidivism.

Remember that big-ass Oldsmobile? You know, the one that won the Index Of Effluency? Not a single black flag.

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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

MurileeMartin wrote:

Not only that, but the majority of Auction Weekend Gavel-Tap penalties were incurred by a half-dozen even-worse-than-the-terrible-average teams. The battle for the Worst Recidivist award was hard-fought, and seemed to end with a tie between the Uncontrollable Mustang and the Spinny Bovine E30. Clearly, Sheriff Joe hasn't done a good enough job preventing recidivism.

Remember that big-ass Oldsmobile? You know, the one that won the Index Of Effluency? Not a single black flag.

Also, the overall winner (Eyesore Miata) didn't get a black either, though Dan "Empty Tank" Barnes did manage to run out of gas on track. As a Result, Eyesore only won by 40 laps, not 50.

Also, let's not leave the uncut schvantz wagging B-Team out of the equation. They must of had about six black flags. However, they did get Knuckles a beautiful engraved metal water dish, so...

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"
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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

Thunderhill Average = 3.66 flags/team
Pheonix Average = 3.17 flags/team

Troy

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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

Troy wrote:

Thunderhill Average = 3.66 flags/team
Pheonix Average = 3.17 flags/team

Hey Math boy, redo the numbers with 521 for Thunderhill.

Reason being is that we had 50 black flags on Saturday that we didn't have time to get to.

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"
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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

Judge Jonny wrote:
Troy wrote:

Thunderhill Average = 3.66 flags/team
Pheonix Average = 3.17 flags/team

Hey Math boy, redo the numbers with 521 for Thunderhill.

Reason being is that we had 50 black flags on Saturday that we didn't have time to get to.

Thunderhill Average = 3.34 flags/team (521/156)
Pheonix Average = 3.17 flags/team

Troy

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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

See? You're all bad drivers.

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"
  • From: Long Beach, CA
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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

Judge Jonny wrote:

Also, the overall winner (Eyesore Miata) didn't get a black either, though Dan "Empty Tank" Barnes did manage to run out of gas on track. As a Result, Eyesore only won by 40 laps, not 50.

That's Dan "Empty Tank" Ehrlich.  Barnes drives for Volatile Ram.  It wasn't the running out of gas so much as the not knowing where Pit In was that sealed his fate.  In fairness, how was he supposed to know where Pit In was?  He'd only done about 170 laps during his stint and who has time to pay attention to silly little things like where to go when you're done racing?

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  • From: San Diego, CA
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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

Friggin' Zonies.

Wait, most of the racers were from CA? Crap.

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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

Judge Jonny wrote:

The Phoenix drivers scored 73 black flags with just 23 cars.

There were only 23 cars at Phoenix???  How the hell did they get *any* black flags??  (assuming that this wasn't on a 0.1 mile track...)

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11 Reply by Jer

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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

+1.  I would think with no cars on the track, the black flags would have been few and far between.

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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

OverStimulated wrote:

There were only 23 cars at Phoenix???  How the hell did they get *any* black flags??  (assuming that this wasn't on a 0.1 mile track...)

They spun out and/or left the asphalt, mostly. Some drivers managed to hit other cars in spite of the wide-openness of it all. Not many pass-under-yellow penalties, mostly because of lack of opportunity.

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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

Wow! Could you imagine these clowns in the high speed traffic jam called "The Lamest Day" last year?

Yeah baby!
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14 Reply by Floor-it Matt (edited by Floor-it Matt 2010-01-26 02:01 PM)

  • Registered: 2010-01-18
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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

OverStimulated wrote:
Judge Jonny wrote:

The Phoenix drivers scored 73 black flags with just 23 cars.

There were only 23 cars at Phoenix???  How the hell did they get *any* black flags??  (assuming that this wasn't on a 0.1 mile track...)

torquey V-8, stick axle, forklift hardness tires, and welded diff. Oh yeah, and most importantly - lack of driving skill..... At least for our team

  • Registered: 2010-01-26
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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

Judge Jonny wrote:

Also, let's not leave the uncut schvantz wagging B-Team out of the equation. They must of had about six black flags. However, they did get Knuckles a beautiful engraved metal water dish, so...

We earned our flags that race, no question. As a team we really imploded in the second half of this one. We were failures on track and particularly in the pit. Multiple flags were indirectly caused by not checking our brake pads- the rookiest of mistakes.

However, B-Team <3 Knuckles.

http://www.quinndunki.com/xfer/KnucklesBowl.JPG

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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

http://www.murileemartin.com/BribedShotglass-800px.jpg

The Lemons Supreme Court approves of custom-engraved bribes such as Knuckles' new bowl... or our snazzy South '09 shot- and beer-glasses.

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  • Fish
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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

So even I got my first black flag with Team Underground. I have to blame it on crap on the tires though because I REALLY dont think I suck this bad lol:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaIpSSYQBuo

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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

MurileeMartin wrote:
OverStimulated wrote:

There were only 23 cars at Phoenix???  How the hell did they get *any* black flags??  (assuming that this wasn't on a 0.1 mile track...)

They spun out and/or left the asphalt, mostly. Some drivers managed to hit other cars in spite of the wide-openness of it all. Not many pass-under-yellow penalties, mostly because of lack of opportunity.

Basically, it would have been worse had they had the opportunity to pass under yellow.

I busted out laughing.

Troy

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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

Nanker Phelge wrote:

Wow! Could you imagine these clowns in the high speed traffic jam called "The Lamest Day" last year?

Where you bone heads ran up 321 black flags?

"This is the scene where I get shot," Bronson said. "I have these little squibs that explode to make it look like bullets are hitting." "Fascinating," said Bergman. "I never knew how they did that." "You mean," asked Bronson, "you don't use machine guns in your movies?"
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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

NICE...I'm glad to know that the crappy driving extends past the borders of CA!!!  :>)  I am also quite proud that I was NOT responsible for any of my teams 3 penalties!!

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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

so, how many teams turned the green flag at lamest day? 122? that would be about 2.63Penalties/Team, which implies that midwest Lemons are better tongue

I'd love to see the numbers for South Spring 09, where an E30 was so kind as to demonstrate what NOT to do with your exhaust system.

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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

FISH; That's a great video! Thanks for having the foresight to install a camera!!   (0:

Yeah baby!
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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

Serj wrote:

so, how many teams turned the green flag at lamest day? 122? that would be about 2.63Penalties/Team, which implies that midwest Lemons are better tongue

Don't forget that the Lamest Day was a 24 hour race, so it was roughly 70% longer than a regular race.  321 black flags over 24 hours is 13.4 flags per hour and one black flag per team every 10 hours.

Phoenix had 73 flags in 14 hours or 5.2 flags per hour and one black flag per team every 4  hours.  That's 2-1/2 times as many black flags as the Lamest Day drivers in the amount of time.

So there!  tongue

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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

Fish wrote:

So even I got my first black flag with Team Underground. I have to blame it on crap on the tires though because I REALLY dont think I suck this bad lol:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaIpSSYQBuo

Reminds me of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4Qxic6qj3E

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Re: Phoenix proves Lemons drivers are BAD DRIVERS

st_rage wrote:
Fish wrote:

So even I got my first black flag with Team Underground. I have to blame it on crap on the tires though because I REALLY dont think I suck this bad lol:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaIpSSYQBuo

Reminds me of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4Qxic6qj3E

Goddammit! I didn't scroll down to the end of this thread. Instead, right after I viewed Fish's video, I went to YouTube to try and find the video you posted as a response. Found it, came back here, scrolled down to post and......  fuck.

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