bending the rules (Page 1 of 2)

Probably not the best question to ask on a forum where the judges hang out.  I am pretty sure they prefer scotch.

I would have suggested not saying you did such a thing on here at all since now the other teams along with the judges are wise to your antics. Always keep your mouth shut, trust me. At our last race while Jay was inspecting our car he assumed we had a run of the mill Grand Prix till I stupidly blurted out "it's a GTP" which let him know we had a supercharger under the hood.

And people have tried repainting new suspension parts, it has yet to fool the judges.

First, let's be sure you understand how residual works.  Your statement that what you spent "far exceeds residual value" makes me wonder.

If you have a residual value of $150, that doesn't mean that you have $150 to spend.  It means that your car has been valued at $150 and you have the remainder of $500 to spend... $500-150 = $350.  If you were looking at it wrong, does that help any?

If not, I'd go with option C.  But, if your car is a big ol' heavy POS, they're probably never going to look at your receipts, anyway.  (you being able to say "yes, we put some better shocks on since the last race, they cost us $xx from a lower mileage car at the salvage yard, I have the receipt if you'd like to see it" without fumbling all over yourself could be all you need)

Don't make your suspension TOO good or they're going to start questioning it.  Not talking about how your parts look (though NEW parts will stand out... and judges are smart enough to look through any dirt or grime that you might add to them), but how they feel.  Is your big heavy car suddenly uber-stiff?  They'll notice.  They'll ask questions.

Your answer should NOT be that you improved the suspension to make the car safer for other competitors.  That line of BS won't fly, even though there might be a modicum of truth to it.  Just be honest, your car handled like crap and you threw some parts at it to make it better.  If you can at least make it appear that those parts fit within your budget, that's even better.

From the judge's perspective, we're all cheating.  They expect it.  They accept it within reason.  How much you get away with depends on how much you TRY to get away with and how much you insult the judges with your lies, or even with truths that are perceived as lies.  Like so many things in life, it's all about appearances.

what car is this again? cause if it is something redonkulous like caddy, who cares. if on the other hand, it is a panther, you better bribe in cold hard cash. $2 for every $1 over budget

Judge Scott loves die casts.

if you were in an E30 and got some upgrades to handling, just bring some KY. you're screwed

BS and finish position should be taken into consideration when determining your residual value.  If you get 100 laps, don't expect to get a less than $500 residual unless you car is a complete and total pile of crap that needs a bunch of new parts just to get back to the track again.

There's a thread somewhere around here discussing that very topic.

IF your cheater parts and penalty laps should happen to be overlooked in determining your residual value, it is entirely possible that you could have some trouble getting through judging with a clean slate at the next race.  Judges always reserve the right to change their mind.

I thought it was pretty obvious my reply was tounge-in-cheek. It's pretty bold of you to come onto the forum and ask how to get away with cheating - and expect anything but funny / sarcastic responses.

Seriously, the real cheaters here aren't going to tell you how to get away with it, and the rest of us don't want to have to race against cheaters.

Having said that, I've seen a lot of BS inspections. Putting some effort into hiding the stuff, forging paperwork, etc...

None of that can hurt - the judges at least appreciate that you respect the process. The absolute worst thing you can do is bring a car that isn't documented with shiny new parts and no bribe.

So even though most of my response was not serious - you should definitely try everything you can. If the car is truly bad even with the upgrades, you might even get away with it. Probably not, but maybe.

But if you aren't trying to win, none of it matters - take your laps and go out and have a great time on the race track. That's actually one of the best things about BS inspection - in most other racing, if your car doesn't qualify you don't even get to race. In Lemons, you just don't get to win, but you are still welcome to join the madness.

Suggestions:
Put twelve wings on it and all it Wingo - make sure you can operate them like venetian blinds.
Put treadwear 500 or great tires on it - better if they are whitewalls.
Extend the nose two feet with fake shark teeth (maybe even real ones), add a huge dorsal fin and a tail, dress as lawyers.
Put a Tiki bar on the roof. Make certain the blender is fully functional and there are permanently mounted steps to access it.

If the above or something eve more creative doesn't appeal:
Remove the doors, trunk lid and anything else of value left and sell them - document it well.
Or do as everyone else said, Bribes, Fake documents (include pictures of handshake deal with obvious idiots), scuzzify the items and Bribe the Judges (wait I think I said that twice - oh, yeah, bribe the judges twice... AND expect to get no less than 10 laps anyhow. It will help (curious non-judge onlookers will look less hard) if you only have bone-ass stock instrumentation and only a pit-board for communication.

...or ignore all that, drop in a 600Hp P&M SBC and get claimed - although that's no longer in style - it's been done :-)

"I have a night mare about the possibliity of winning..  (Yeh!  like a 34 year old  Free Jaguar that's ghetto charged  would have a chance in hell no matter how much I cheated)  I suppose stranger things have happened.  Is it possible to sign up non-contende?  I'd hate to put all the work into the car needed to put it on the track only to generate the ire of those running for season long prizes etc..
My real goal would be to compete for the nonexistant prize of either DLBF (dead last but finished) or Spear Carrier for the guy who finishes exactly in the middle..
HMM it sounds like I should spend some time making trophies"

Dont worry about it.... Is that Jag getting built or not?

Brainerd, MN?

As I always say, there's cheating and then there's effective cheating. A car we like and a good theme will make things a lot easier on you.

And, to answer your bribe booze question, I prefer good bourbon and Judge Jonny (who will be at the New Orleans race) generally prefers single-malt.

However, my liquor cabinet is very well-stocked with whiskey of all sorts. Having just gone out for Hungarian food last night, I've realized that I have absolutely zero Eastern/Central European-style fruit brandy in stock. No cherry brandy, no slivovice, no rakia! Hint, hint.

Jonny and Phil. How could we be soooo lucky!!!!