New to Lemons with questions for BS Judges

I'm not a judge, but I don't think you'll be hassled very much at all over a 400k mile Saturn SL2.  They've been reliable cars in Lemons, but they're also a dime a dozen on the open market, so you've got a lot of comparable sales to look at.  I've been offered a running SL1 for free - and refused it.  Same problem as yours - quart or two of oil burned between fillups.  Crazy thing is, it was passed on to a friend that needed a car and it ran for years like that.  Just need to pull the plugs and clean 'em every now and then!

Honestly, though, what would happen if you did get laps?  It would just knock you down a few places in the end results.  It's kind of fun to be sweated by the judges, and you shouldn't really expect to win on laps your first time out.  So just have fun with it.  Do what you need and want to do to the car, and the worst that can happen is they dock you a few laps.  No big deal.  They won't refuse you entry to the race over a perceived cheat!

Which they will NOT perceive in a tired ass Saturn, trust me.*

-David

*do not trust me.

The rules clearly say that you can't do it, but lots of people do.  The judges are good at figuring out the worth of a car, and cars that are on both ends of the scale they don't even need documentation to figure out (if you car is really awful it doesn't matter, and if it is really cheaty the documentation is probably fake anyway)

You can do what Loren said or just get it ready and see what happens and take your penalty laps if they give them to you.  Or just find another one for sale and use your old car as a parts car.

Whatever you do keeping with a Saturn sound like a good idea. A car that you are familiar with and know how to work on will help you a lot in the long run.

cheater!

whatever you do, bring paperwork. if you show up with nothing, it is insulting. If you show up with documentation that you are $250 over budget, they may even cut you some slack (it's been known to happen)

I think the first question is; how much would YOU sell it for, right now, to some 17yr old looking for a beater to fix up and drive to school. give yourself a reasonable valuation, find similar cars on CL and ebay, compare their prices with yours and it's current state. Everyone will swear to you to document your ass off, but on the other side, people who are super thorough are usually hiding some cheater go fast parts. Just tell'em how much you paid for it originally, how much you drove it for, and how much you were thinking of selling it for before someone brainwashed you into thinking that Lemons was a good plan. Keep your documents simple, tell'em you went to pull-n-pay and spent 3 days and $40 pulling rings from other saturns and then proceeded to lose your job staying up late trying to pick-n-match a set that made it smoke/burn the least amount of oil. They like a good story and sweet sweet bribery just as much as a TRUE hunk of junk showing up to race. If you fear getting laps that badly though you're probably in the wrong series. a recent entry in florida of a rare and perceptibly -very- cheaty bmw 540i only got 5 laps. didn't matter because they dun blow'd up! build your car, get a good theme rockin' and have a ball!

You don't need to put any money into the car to race Lemons apart from the mandatory safety gear (cage, seat kill-switch, fire extinguisher, etc...see the Rules link at the top of the page) and all those are 'free' as far as Lemons is concerned so you can throw as much money as you think your fine motor skills and ability to form a coherent sentence is worth

As for BS laps, don't worry about it. Turn up with a car that's basically honest to the $500 philosophy with a reasonably true story and you'll be fine. If you get 5, 10, 30 laps even it doesn't matter so much; it's the getting out there and doing it that's the fun. Don't be overly worried about BS laps especially in your first race(s). My team and I have done 2 now and I can tell you, without seeming to be harsh about it, you won't be winning! There are a lot of slick teams in Lemons that do win and they win because their car is primarily reliable, not super-fast, but reasonably quick and their teamwork for prep and during the race with driver changes and fuel stops is excellent....all of that is the result of a lot of races!

My advice? Read this forum, look at the Galleries for ideas and inspiration then get a car safetied up and run a race as soon as you possibly can.

Good luck and I hope to see you out on track in the near future!

Steven

We probably aren't going to sweat you too hard over a Saturn, provided you make a good (i.e., documented) case that it's possible to get an example like yours for something like LeMons-grade prices... unless it shows up loaded with hot-rod suspension parts. S Series Saturns fare pretty well in Lemons (last time I checked the numbers, the S was more likely than an E30 to finish in the top third of any given race), so we will want to take a close look during BS inspection.

Either way, bribe well and you should be fine.  I think I am the Judge you spoke to when you woke up, crawled out of your tent and had a beer and I gave you the finger wave with an explination of the rules.  While I admired your swampy spirit I made you toss your beer.

From Florida...right?