Topic: Thunderhill IOE competition looks tough!
Seriously, at Lemons HQ we really pay little attention to the overall leader during the race (except during the last few minutes, so we can prepare for the ceremony), but we'll get quite worked up about Index Of Effluency contenders. There's a subjective component (Jay) involved in deciding who's in the running for the IOE, but usually the choices are pretty obvious. At Yeehaw It's Texas, the IOE was there for the taking for any one of the air-cooled VWs- beat the TR7 and you take home the nickels!
We're looking forward to a nail-biting, photo-finish IOE battle at Thunderhill. Unlike the slog to the overall win, you can win the IOE even if you have some mechanical problems; this means that your team's wrenchin' prowess is a much larger factor for you than for the dudes chasing the overall win (they break once, they're pretty much knocked out). It's a race within a race, and we've always been surprised that the contenders aren't more aware of who they're trying to beat; if the race has an hour to go and your 39th-place Lancia Scorpion is 1.5 laps back of those bastids in the 37th-place Henry J, it's time to get busy and chase those nickels!
Who are the likely contenders this time? Only Jay can say for sure, but I've got a pretty good eye for the IOE and I say these teams need to start thinking of themselves as front-line competitors for the big win. Come Sunday afternoon, the top two or three of the following teams should start smelling a potential victory:
Unsafe At Any Speed, Corvair
Faster Farms Chickens, Plymouth Belvedere
Purple Lemon Racing, VW Beetle
Starsky And The Bandit, Ford Capri
Family Truckster, Ford Pinto
Wedginator III, TR7
Killer Bees, MGB
Italian Stallions, Fiat X1/9
Dai Hard, Daihatsu Charade
F-ING Renault Fromage 1, Renault Alliance
Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys, Peugeot 505
Mysteries, Inc, Plymouth Voyager
Petty Cash, Jeep Cherokee
Were I betting on the IOE, I'd put my money on the Italion Stallions, Surrender Monkeys, or Killer Bees, due to the LeMons-veteran status of the cars and drivers coupled with past decent (by Fiat, Peugeot, and British Leyland standards) performance. But you never know- maybe the Voyager will use its turbo power to eat up the competition, and the Chickens have a bulletproof Chrysler 318 under the hood. Or maybe a car not quite sufficiently effluent to get on this list- yet still fundamentally terrible- will totally overachieve (the Skid Row '77 Camaro and Carpocalypse NOW Eagle Talon come to mind), come in an improbable 4th place overall, and wrest the IOE trophy from our hands.
But I won't be betting on the IOE (I'd like to, but Jay has this weird idea that being in a position to influence the outcome of the race might tempt me to exploit some ethical gray areas- as if a member of the Lemons Supreme Court would do such a thing!), so instead I just want you IOE superpowers to recognize that you're racing for the highest honor Lemons has to offer. That means you should check those standings during the race and take careful note of how the real competition is doing... and if your car is leading, start looking over your shoulder!