Topic: Lemons iRacing League - Rules Update #1 (V2.0, Whatever)

Listen up, suckas. We're making some changes—nothing huge—but expect some tighter officiating now that we know things like "What does iRacing look like" and "How does any of it actually work."

1. Don’t be a douche. Seriously.

2. All normal iRacing rules and online racing/gaming etiquette are applicable here. The iRacing FIRST rulebook (PDF here) is much bigger than Lemons’ rulebok, but pay particular attention to Sections 2.5 and 5.1.

3. Whiner Eligibility: Like Meatspace Lemons™, whiners are still not eligible for Virtual Lemons. If you believe that you might be a whiner, please check with a domestic partner, guardian, roommate, or healthcare professional before getting booted from Virtual Lemons for-frickin’-ever.

4. All Lemons cars must have An Art (i.e. “Don’t bring a plainly painted car”). This is pretty much the only rule that really matters. Spend some time on it, make it fun, clever, and/or funny. Since the cars themselves are one of six choices (see below), unique paint jobs are how we’ll distinguish you, for better or worse. Scroll down for info on how to paint your car.

5. The Lemons iRacing League will have three classes of competition. Because of the shortage of Lemons-caliber hoopties in iRacing—we can’t believe there’s no Wartburg, either—each class will have just two models of car. So you will compete with others in just one of two cars, which makes this about 12,000 times more fair than Lemons In Real Life (aka “Meatspace Lemons™”). Here are the car choices, which are still subject to change:

Class A: Street Stock (aka CAMERO), Ford Mustang FR500S (Paid content)
Class B: Global Mazda MX-5 Cup, Volkswagen Jetta TDI (Paid content)
Class C: 2010 Mazda MX-5 Roadster, Pontiac Solstice Club Sport

6. Rolling Single-File Starts: While iRacing doesn’t officially allow single-file race starts, we’ve discovered it’s the best way to keep you all from racking up black flags on the start. We will grid the cars randomly within class. Once the pace lap begins: If you are in the even-position line, move over into line behind the odd-positioned car ahead of you. It’s not hard and Lemons people—despite what you think—can take direction better than most Real Racers™.

For example:

- If you are 6th on the grid, move over behind the 5th-place car’s bumper once the pace lap begins.
- If you are 5th on the grid, just start driving but leave a gap ahead of you for the 4th-place car.

7. Penalties: Remember that It’s Still Always Your Fault. Yep, that spin, off, or contact is going to be penalized. Lemons will rely heavily on iRacing’s automated officiating, however Lemons officials will be able to black flag you for driving like a knob. Conveniently, iRacing’s automatic incident tallying also usually determines everyone is at-fault for contact.

It also assigns incident points at the following rates:

1x – Wheels off the racing surface
2x – Loss of control
2x – Contact with other object
4x – Heavy contact with another driver

To accommodate the learning curve involved in iRacing, some leeway will be given. iRacing will issue black flags after a driver accrues a set number of incident points (likely somewhere between 10 and 15). Lemons officials may also issue a black flag manually when we spot you doing something dumb. In a normal 24-minute sprint race, here is what you can expect:

- First Black Flag = 30-second hold, slow your butt down and/or pay more attention.
- Second Black Flag = 1-Lap hold, last warning.
- Any further incidents result in disqualification.

(7A) Lemons won’t tolerate overly aggressive driving. We can’t watch everywhere at once, but if we catch you doing something extra stupid that ruins a bunch of people’s fun, expect a black flag and possibly a straight disqualification.

Take some unsolicited advice: Drive around other racers like they don’t see, don’t hear you, and aren’t likely to leave you room. They probably don’t and therefore won’t. Just like Meatspace Lemons™, everyone has a lot more fun when you pay attention, leave space, and work together with other cars.

(7B) Please re-enter the track only when the coast is completely clear. Causing a big accident upon re-entry is one of the easy ways to get booted the hell out.

8. Discord Comms: Please join the Discord server (link provided when you enter the Lemons iRacing League) for in-race announcements. Please provide Lemons with your Discord handle, as well, so you can talk to other racers and receive instructions from Race Control (*cough* and Penalty Box *cough*) as needed.

In Discord, Push-To-Talk comms will be mandatory. It turns out that no one wants to hear your totally badass speaker setup, you cursing about that guy who ruined your life in a video-game race, or your heavy breathing into the mic.

Abusive or inappropriate comments are a great way to get kicked out, as well. Abusive language is also against iRacing’s terms of service and can be grounds for having your account revoked. See Rule #1 (“Don’t Be A Douche”).

9. What’s At Stake: Class winners will get a roll of toilet paper—single-ply, gas-station quality—mailed to them at the end of each season. This may change to something even less valuable in subsequent season. In any case, we shouldn’t have to say it explicitly, but: We shouldn’t have to say it explicitly, but: Don’t drive like jerk over a roll of TP.

Lemons also reserves the right to send toilet paper or anything else we come up with to people we think are worthy of such trophies.

10. Most importantly: We know those new to iRacing are still getting a handle on things: Be patient for your own and others’ various learning curves, don’t expect anyone to get out of your way, and work together, dammit. We’re all just trying to have fun and blow off some steam from the real world’s suckitude.

Eric Rood
Everything Bagel, 24 Hours of Lemons