The 24 Hours of Lemons Forums → Our Crappy Race → Texas Judges
As seen in another thread (http://forums.24hoursoflemons.com/viewt … 840#p42840) ... the normal judges will not be at the Dallas race...
So, as we like to cater to our judges likes, wants and needs... Who are we catering to? Who are the replacements? We need to do some internet-stalker researching to find out the best things to provide to make them feel right at home in Dallas....
One of them is so mean that when another driver on his team got a black flag and they were going to let them go - he begged them to put the driver in the doghouse.
That's his own teammate. Imagine how he feels about other people.
Judges don't beg.
Things I know about one of the judges.
He is the only person Chuck Norris has apologized to.
Santa sits on his lap.
When he looks in the mirror roses appear with him.
No one knows what country he is actually from, but 13 claim him.
If he owned a dairy queen they'd sell beer.
Women worship the people he walks on.
and he is a Marine.
One of them is so mean that when another driver on his team got a black flag and they were going to let them go - he begged them to put the driver in the doghouse.
That's his own teammate. Imagine how he feels about other people.
so we"re in it reallllly deep, right?
Judges don't beg.
Things I know about one of the judges.
He is the only person Chuck Norris has apologized to.
Santa sits on his lap.
When he looks in the mirror roses appear with him.
No one knows what country he is actually from, but 13 claim him.
If he owned a dairy queen they'd sell beer.
Women worship the people he walks on.
and he is a Marine.
So The Stig is judging the race? How will he communicate his approval/disapproval?
Zachreligious wrote:One of them is so mean that when another driver on his team got a black flag and they were going to let them go - he begged them to put the driver in the doghouse.
That's his own teammate. Imagine how he feels about other people.
so we"re in it reallllly deep, right?
I know I will be if for some reason I get a black flag - hasn't happened yet in three races. I imagine you'll be just fine. Unless you get a black flag, then all bets are off. I imagine these guys are going to be totally aching to punish people.
I know I will be if for some reason I get a black flag - hasn't happened yet in three races. I imagine you'll be just fine. Unless you get a black flag, then all bets are off. I imagine these guys are going to be totally aching to punish people.
We called a man into the penalty box for simply being French in a German car...one can only imagine what they have in store for Zach.
So The Stig is judging the race? How will he communicate his approval/disapproval?
Some say....his nod and thumb speak volumes.
Some say....his nod and thumb speak volumes.
And exactly when has Stig ever been known to show even that much emotion?
One Judge has a huge fascination/fetish for automotive Badges.
H.K. Phooey wrote:Some say....his nod and thumb speak volumes.
And exactly when has Stig ever been known to show even that much emotion?
9:50 into this video is proof of said emotion.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBJaMzatz8o
9:50 into this video is proof of said emotion.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBJaMzatz8o
Touche.
Judges don't beg.
Things I know about one of the judges.
He is the only person Chuck Norris has apologized to.
Santa sits on his lap.
When he looks in the mirror roses appear with him.
No one knows what country he is actually from, but 13 claim him.
If he owned a dairy queen they'd sell beer.
Women worship the people he walks on.
and he is a Marine.
Then bride him with Dos Equis
Make that BRIBE
Then bride him with Dos Equis
Make that BRIBE
You can't go wrong with Dogfish Head. Can you?
Dogfish Head 60 is nice, 90 is thoughtful and 120 is just pure sexyness. Dos Equis will be poured out at the place of my choice.
Beers in a green or clear bottle get poured out, right?
Things the judges need.
We need a big industrial fan and I will not forget the team that brings us one.
We need pit transportation/golf cart/whatever work.
We need 10 used orange cones you might actually get one back but don't count on it.
We need a portable loud stereo.
We need portable welding equipment, a self contained unit would be best.
Nick and Jay have the final say on GOOJF cards but we need some of these things and it could make your BS inspections easier.
CASH BAKSHEESH is always a winner.
One Judge has a huge fascination/fetish for automotive Badges.
Troy is right, and I am that judge. I am honored that Jay and crew would let me be a judge in Phil/Jonny's place. I absolutely love Lemons.
And with that, I really should introduce myself, so here goes:
I started out with Lemons on Troy's first running with the Datsun, and LOVED IT. Unfortunately, it seems like Lemons comes into town when I am conveniently unemployed from whatever MBA-gig I had at the time. So, mercifully, Phil and Jonny have been generous enough to make me an honorary judge because I am a writer on The Truth About Cars. And we seem to be cut from the same cloth, writing wise. None of us are Motor Trend material.
And my, uh, claim to fame is my automotive self-help column called "Piston Slap." Not that it will do you any good in BS inspection, but you can read my crap here if so inclined:
Oh, I forgot the name of the team of the folks running the Lincoln Mark VIII, but since that is my daily driver and shall be my chariot to the race...they can really bribe the hell outta me.
So there you have it, your friendly Lemons judge. I really am looking forward to meeting you all and having a blast!
If i can find a way to strap my industrial fan to my Sentra daily driver, I will bring it up from Houston.
If i can find a way to strap my industrial fan to my Sentra daily driver, I will bring it up from Houston.
Sam and I, she brought a pillow to the dog house.
Things the judges need.
We need a big industrial fan and I will not forget the team that brings us one.
We need pit transportation/golf cart/whatever work.
We need 10 used orange cones you might actually get one back but don't count on it.
We need a portable loud stereo.
We need portable welding equipment, a self contained unit would be best.
Nick and Jay have the final say on GOOJF cards but we need some of these things and it could make your BS inspections easier.CASH BAKSHEESH is always a winner.
Team Miagra will provide the esteemed judges with the large industrial fan. Strike that off your "we need" list...
See you in June!
Team Miagra will provide the esteemed judges with the large industrial fan. Strike that off your "we need" list...
See you in June!
It's very appreciated considering black robes, in June in Texas.
That just might save you from the theme change penalty I have been dreaming up for your car since MSR.
That just might save you from the theme change penalty I have been dreaming up for your car since MSR.
Wait a second...that depends on the CFM output of the fan. I want to do a Marilyn Monroe skirt shot with my black robe. 
We are going to find a way to bring our gigantic 4' dia fan AND we will be running the Mark Ate as well as the dauphine
Cool segway....those things ROCK...but you gotta try the big tired off road version!!!
The 24 Hours of Lemons Forums → Our Crappy Race → Texas Judges